Saturday, February 25, 2012

Praise & Perspective

I wanted to share something quickly this morning....

Today is one of those days where I could let self-pity engulf me. I actually thought about it a few times! I won't go into detail, but just family stuff that leaves you feeling sad. Traditions that you loved and held dear may be gone forever, relationships broken, and the list could go on. But this is life.... it's totally unexpected and curve balls can be thrown at you at any minute. Life can make you want to induldge in a lot of self-pity at times.

My devo this morning helped:

Be on guard against the pit of self-pity. When you are weary or unwell, this trap is the greatest danger you face. Don't even go near the edge of the pit. It is ever so much harder to get out of the pit than to keep a safe distance from it. That's why I tell you to BE ON GUARD.
There are several ways to protect yourself from self-pity. When you are occupied with PRAISING and THANKING Me, it is impossible to feel sorry for yourself. Also, the closer you live to Me, the more distance there is between you and the pit. Live in the LIGHT OF MY PRESENCE BY FIXING YOUR EYES ON ME.

So true! When I focus on the blessing of the Lord it's an automatic attitude adjustment. When I'm praising Him, I don't have time to think about the things that could easily drag me down.

IT'S ALL ABOUT PERSPECTIVE!

A grateful heart protects you from negative thinking! Thankfulness enables you to see the abundance the Lord showers upon you daily.

So, instead of being consumed by the pit of self-pity today, I choose to look at the sun shining, my little baby bump, my wonderful parents, relationships I cherish, the Word that directs my path, my home the Lord has provided, my friends that make me smile......
and I choose to thank Him for it and praise Him for all He has blessed me with.

What is your perspective today? If we'd only be more about praise and thankfulness, the things that we sit around feeling sorry for ourselves about might slowly begin to disappear!

In everything GIVE THANKS; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. - 1 Thessaonians 5:18

Friday, February 24, 2012

Pray Continually

oh my. the weather has been SO perfect. if everyday was like yesterday, I'd be one happy lady.

I have been staying ACTIVE all week! I have exercised everyday, almost walked at least an hour everyday this week! So I've felt way more energized, finally feeling like my old self again! The only thing now is that I'm completely wiped at 8:30 every night and usually asleep by then. Ryan was asking me if I wanted to go see a movie tonight, but then he said, "Well we better not because you are usually crashed by 8:30!" LOL He knows me well & has been super sweet to accomodate, as we are staying in tonight!

I wanted to share what God has laid on my heart lately, and that is that He is just waiting to be close with us. He is wanting to speak to us, to fill us with His love/peace/joy/etc., and to lead us in every decision daily.... if we would just choose to allow Him to.

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. -1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

PRAY CONTINUALLY. To be in conversation with God all day long.

So many times I have circumstances where I really need help or some guidance, and instead of simply asking my heavenly Father, I take it upon myself. I forgot that He is the first place I should run. And more than just needing help, He deserves PRAISE. I think that this hits me more on gorgeous days like the past few days... I can't help but overflow with joy! I want to say THANK YOU GOD as I walk in the sunshine! I want to sing loud with my windows down and enjoy the world He created..... but I needed to be reminded that no matter what the day, He wants to be communicating with us and wants our praise and thankfulness.

SO, I want to work on "praying continually" and allowing God to be the first place I run for advice, for love, for peace, for contentment, for questions, for giving my time and attention, for ANYTHING I NEED!

Happy Friday!

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Spring is in the Air!

Today is a good day! The weather is gorgeous. How refreshing it is to drive with my windows down... not only did I drive with them down, I listened to some pop music, in my scrubs (I was leaving clinicals), and cramming Subway (yes, I had it AGAIN today) in my face. I passed someone I knew, then looked up and I had ranch all over my chin. Awesome. But nonetheless, not matter how uncool I was in reality, I felt amazing... and didn't even care that I had ranch all over my face :) I felt amazing beeeeeeeeeeecausse, it's starting to feel like SPRING! And because my sickness definitely seems to be subsiding!

I think I forgot what it felt like to not be nauseous 24/7, and ESPECIALLY what it feels like to have some energy. The past 3 days I have felt great! I'm hoping that this continues...

Speaking of pregnancy related things, I'm not really showing yet I guess you'd say, but my belly CANNOT be held in anymore. It's that little pooch I've always had x3 LOL... just enough to make me look fat. But that's ok, because it's going to lead a cute baby bump and I'm ecstatic that I can tell I'm growing, because that means our little one is, and I can't wait for him/her to grow enough to be able to come out and play :)

I do want my stomach to grow, but as for the accumulation of fat... not so much. Not gonna lie, when I was feeling sick nothing sounded good except stuff that isn't good for me. And I had NO energy to exercise, so I was kinda a bum for a few weeks. It didn't take me long to realize I DO NOT want to be this way throughout the pregnancy, and DO NOT want to gain tons of excess weight. Am I going to freak out if I gain 30 lbs? No. I know that you obviously gain weight with a baby on board, but what I'm trying to say is that I reeeeeeeaaaaally want to try to keep eating healthy and exercise every day, even if that means a 5 minute walk and some squats. I want to be HEALTHY. That is the main thing. I want to eat things that will benefit the baby, I want to stay active and fit so I can have an (hopefully) easier delivery that is (hopefully) as natural as possible. (More posts on that to come)....

It's hard to focus on anything. I'm so excited just thinking about my future role as a Mommy that I don't hardly care about anything else! Not good, because I still have 8 weeks of school that I need to push through. And then today I was told at the hospital that working PRN as a new grad isn't an option, because they like their new grads to being oriented a full 3 months and then go full time to get experience. Wah wah wah. I hardly care though, all I know is I HIGHLY doubt I can manage a fulltime job, aka three 12 hour shifts, with a newborn baby at home. To me, being a MOM is sooooo much more important. I'm sure I'd cry all 12 hours! SO please pray with me that God will open the doors for me a job that I could work parttime as an RN (1-2 days maybe) and be a fulltime mom the rest of the time. Big things coming, but so thankful I have a God I trust my life with and know that He has a plan!

I wish time would start moving along faster, but at the same time I want to enjoy every stage of this pregnancy! I'm going to start taking pics of the baby bump every week now that you can kinda tell it's growing :) I have so many ideas (thank you, Pinterest) that I want to do!!!

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Be Still and Know

I got a new devotional today called "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young. I had heard lots of good things about it, so thought I would give it a try! It's a 365 day devo, and I read the first passage today. At first I didn't get it, but then it seemed to speak right to me... I want to share. (I'm summarizing the parts I really liked).

Thank Me for the conditions that are requiring you to BE STILL. Do not spoil these quiet hours by wishing them away, waiting impatiently to be active again.... Quietness and trust enhance your awareness of My Presence with you. Do not despise these simple ways of serving Me. Although you feel cut off from the activity of the world, your quiet trust makes a powerful statement in spiritual realms. My strength and power show themselves most effective in weakness.

This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Isreal, says: "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would not have none of it." -Isaiah 30:15

It relates so much to me. Since being in school I've felt like I haven't been as active and outgoing as I'm used to. Today I even told Jess, "we HAVE to hang out tomorrow, I feel like such a loser lately." The past 3 days I have studied nonstop, all day. ((I had to get my grade up, and holy moly sure enough I made a 100% on our test today! Talk about shock/relief/excitement!!!)) Anyway, I feel like I'm being so complacent, I miss going out and doing things, I miss getting to go to church on Wednesday nights and serving, I miss getting to put time into other, more fun things! I have felt semi-loserish lately... and feeling like God couldn't really use me. I mean, mostly all I do is go to school and then in the mean time, cook, clean, study, and repeat. I do have friends LOL but the point I'm making is it's just HARDER to find time and used to I was beat-bopping around everywhere.

I felt like God was telling me that I need to take advantage of this season of my life, to grow closer to Him now that I have LOTS of chances to BE STILL. In the verse I love when it says, "in quietness and trust is your strength"... But have I chose to allow God to speak to me in this season of quietness or have I wished them away?

I admit, I have had many days where I could have started the day out with God in prayer and reading His word, but rather chose to study or clean or just mope around the house. So to read this devotion really hit home today.... I hope it may have touched you as well :)

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

A Full Heart

My heart is so full. So so so full today.
Maybe it's the crazy pregnancy hormones, but I really do think that is has to do with the LOVE that is filling my heart.

Yesterday I got to celebrate with my sweet husband, who suprised me with a gorgeous diamond heart necklace. He was so sweet in telling me that he noticed I didnt' have a lot of nice jewelry and he wanted to get something nice for me. That really made my day knowing he had put thought into it... But honestly, the thing I love the most is simply being with him. We went to Olive Garden (which had the SHORTEST wait we've ever had... weird! we thought it would be PACKED) and sat down for a nice meal together.

So yesterday sat the mood. We spend a lot of time talking about our future little one. Ryan said next year if it's a little girl he'll have another little Valentine to get a gift for, but if it's a boy then the two of them will be getting me presents. What a sweet thought! Now after watching "A Baby Story" all morning, my heart is just overflowing with the thought of that. A sweet little girl, dressed in red on Valentines Day and her Daddy spoiling the two of us... or a handsome little man holding a flower for me... I cannot belive that it's really our time and that we really are having a baby!

Mostly, I have sat here today trying to study but my thoughts have been consumed with what he/she will look like, what it will feel like to hear their first cry, to hold them for the first time, to see the look in Ryan's eyes when he sees them for the first time. I can't wait. I wish I could speed up time and be holding him/her right now.

My heart is full because of the LOVE that my Savior has given me. That He loves me so much and has blessed me when I am SO undeserving. And believe me, there are HARD times and life is not always perfect... but today I'm choosing to focus on the LOVE that is filling my heart. Thank the Lord for His ultimate example of UNFAILING LOVE! I have Someone that I can look to when I don't know how to love my husband, and have no idea to be a mother, but He has set the perfect example and for that I am thankful.

Psalm 63:3 Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you!!!

Deuteronomy 7:9 Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping
his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep
his commands.

1 John 4:9-11 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the
world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but
that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear
friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Valentine Thoughts!

This is our last Valentines Day as a family of two! Well, technically we are already a family of three, but this is our last one before our little one decides to come out and play :) It's almost bittersweet. Don't get me wrong, we are 100% COMPLETELY THRILLED with the fact that we're having a baby and would not change a thing. It is going to be a whole new chapter for us, which we are totally ready for, but closing this chapter also makes me a wee bit sad as well.

Over 2 years of the married life just the hubs and I has been so wonderful. We have taken this time to really get to know one another, to simply enjoy life together with lots of walks and talks, to take some AWESOME trips together, and to settle in a house that now is truly home to both of us. We have made a little family with just us and our puppies, and I know that I will cherish these years in my heart forever. It is the foundation of our life together, the time when we only had each other and grew so close.

So, I'm excited for a special Valentines tonight! We have so many great memories behind us, but so many more ahead of us to make! It's been so neat just dreaming about our baby, what he/she will look like, who he/she will take after, and what it will be like to have him/her in our arms....

Buuuuuut these first weeks have also been a challenge dealing with all the lovely things pregnancy brings HAHA. I have had NO energy and usually am nauseous starting about 10ish and throughout the rest of the day. My sickness has definitely been more like "evening sickness" as it really hits worse at night! I'm probably not the greatest joy for Ry to be around right now, but he has been so sweet to not let me know how moody I'm being LOL. It's funny though, because even though I don't feel good at all, I don't really care. Because I know that all this will be worth it! Hello, my body is growing a baby! No wonder I have no energy! And if being sick is a good sign, I'll happily take it :) Sometimes I wish I felt like myself again, but in just a few weeks I should again... and our sweet baby is so worth it all. I still can't believe that we're going to have one! Ahh!

So, next Valentines Day we should have a 5 month old to be celebrating with... I know already that it's going to be even more special because there will be even more love in our home.... and I can't wait :)

Monday, February 6, 2012

The Day We Found Out About You

It was a Sunday morning & as soon as my eyes popped open I quitely got up without waking Ryan. The day before, I'd been out with Mom & Meemaw. I was complaining that when it came to that-time-of-the-month, it was ALWAYS LATE and I was sick of worrying about not being a good vitamin taker or drinking a little caffiene and feeling guilty thinking "WHAT IF I WAS PREGNANT?" I'd just gotten used to that monthly visitor never being on time, but over the course of the past 2 years of being married I'd probably taken 5 or 6 pregnancy tests to just relieve my mind. So I was telling them that I was late again and once again worrying in the back of my mind when I drank a cup of coffee, so Mom said "Kaysi you just need to take another test to get it off your mind! You could be!" Her and Meemaw then started saying things like what if I was and I got really defensive saying "No way! This is always how I am, I know there is no way that I am!" I was ready to get home, but Mom insisted she stop at Dollar General and get a $1 test. I was so sure that I didn't need one, that I wouldn't go in and she ran in and bought one for me!

Anyway, that brings me back to the next morning: waking up, going to the bathroom with one eye open, and taking the test just so I could be relieved and go make a huge pot of coffee.... To my dismay, the test IMMEDIATELY turned POSITIVE. I think I had a heart attack right there! I didn't even think, I just ran to our bedroom, ripped the covers off of Ryan, grabbed his hand, and YANKED him out of bed! HAHA! His face was priceless, he couldn't even open his eyes and had no idea what I was doing. I didn't say a word, just led him to the bathroom where the positive test was laying on the counter. He just stared at it a long time, then looked at me, who started half laughing- half crying. I was so shocked, I just remember a lot of laughing, hugging, and me being in denial saying I didn't believe the test. It cost $1, how could it be right?! So we tried to calm down and tell ourselves that there was a huge chance that it was a false positive because of the cheap-o test. We didn't have enough time to go to Harrison before church to buy tests, so we had to sit through Sunday School & church. Wah wah wah. I was so nervous I didn't think I could make it!

So, next thing I know we're sitting in Sunday school SOOO nervous with SOOO much going through our minds. This is the part that blows me away. I swear, our Sunday School lesson is usually from the New Testament. Something like Matthew, Mark, Luke.. ya get the point. Well, we get there this particular Sunday & the lesson came from Psalm 139. Someone began reading the verses outloud:

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, oh God!
How vast is the sum of them! 18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—when I awake, I am still with you.

I can't really explain it, but even re-reading it I get chills. Not many times in my life have I felt like God was specifically speaking to me like that. But when they read those verses outloud, a feeling of PEACE went all over me. It was like He was saying, "it's going to be okay, I know this baby already before one of its days has came to be. I love him and know him already, and I'm knitting him together in you." Whoaaaa, I wanted to bust out bawling in the middle of class, especially when Ry looked over at me and I knew that he had felt God speaking to us too. So in the midst of my nervousness and being unsure of what was going on, God spoke PEACE to me. And what a confirmation!!!

So sure enough, after church we came home and found that 3 more tests were POSITIVE. Lots of squealing/jumping/kissing/hugging followed. The reality and excitement hit in then! And we were also so excited that God had used His word to touch us on our very special/SURPRISING day!

And since that day, we'll never be the same. I'm so excited for the next 7 months until we get to meet our little one. I'm so blessed to be sharing this journey with my absolute best friend and soulmate. And I'm soooo grateful and humbled that the Lord has blessed us with this little miracle. He is so good!!!

I'm sure I'll keep the blogs coming, especially now that I have a baby and pregnancy to write about :)