=]

ahhh. I cannot tell you enough how wonderful it feels to have my fingers on the keys of my laptop again. That's right! IT'S FIXED!! I was shocked bc I thought it was gone forever, but one of my dad's friends apparently is a super genius who saved my computer.... along with all of the pictures I thought I had lost forever. I'm so happy!!!!

Well, the holidays are almost over. Tonight is the last big celebration for awhile. I had an amazing holiday season. So many blessings, great time with family, lots of delicious food, lots of new presents!!!

I got some AWESOME decorations for my house! I can't wait to put them up-- that's actually what the hubs & I are doing today... I'll have to try and post some pics of the finished products. Somehow the decoration gene passed right over me and I feel like I can have a tacky taste at tims, but I reeeallllly tried this time & I think the end result will actually be cute--- and maybe, jsut maybe, kinda stylish? haha. Ok, maybe that's taking it too far! But I also have done some projects of my own that I'm kinda proud of... pics to come!

Another thing I got a lot of for Christmas was running gear. Now I have no excuse to start running again. That was my exact thought yesterday as I called Shirley (the mom-in-law) up to go on a run with me. I happily put on a cute new running outfit, laced up my new shoes, and ran out the door with Ry's phone with my RunKeeper ready to track the run. 4.75 miles later, I was no longer "cute" in my running outfit, my feet and legs were killing me, and I wanted to just push STOP on the phone! lol... But that's why I love Shirley, she pushes me & honestly I had no idea that I could have done that many miles so soon after not running for so long! It def helped having her to chat with as we went along & Ryka on a leash to kinda help pull me up those hills LOL... But today I can barely walk. It's ok tho, I'm still kinda proud of myself!

One more week of break. My, it's flown by. But I've really enjoyed it a lot. A lot a lot. 16 more weeks until I'm an RN. 16 more weeks until this season of my life as a student ends. 16 weeks til I'm in the real world finally doing what I've dreamed of doing for so long! And 16 weeks til I'm finally making a little mulah to help out the hubs & get to spend more on fixing up the house, etc!
I know this semester will fly by, and I want to soak up everything I can to learn and to enjoy the time I have left with the amazing friends I have made along the way.

I hate catch-up blog posts. Next time I'll write something more meaningful- something that I've been learning...

HAPPY NEW YEARS EVE EVERYONE!
I'll write again next year :)

True Beauty.

Somewhere along my journey with the Lord I have found something very near and dear to my heart. A message that I wish all girls could take and fully believe and live 100%. A message that I am striving to fully live out as well.

BEAUTY.

It has been instilled in every women the desire to feel beautiful, to be loved, to be confident in herself.

I have always struggled with self image. It's just been my battle. To be honest, my weight is always something hanging over me- I always strive to exercise more, eat better, etc. And when I fail (usually daily) it's hard for me to feel confident, to love myself, to feel beautiful. I've already posted about the "happy weight" that tends to creep up on you when you are truly happy and married... but this is my insecurity. I don't like to share it, because it honestly is a weak spot for me in my self confidence. With this being said, I know every women has something about her that keeps her from being CONFIDENT, from feeling BEAUTIFUL.

There are a million books out there that tells us as women to LOVE OURSELVES. To come to the place where we accept ourselves for who we are, the way God created us, just as we are. And to JUST BE CONFIDENT! Yeeeeea I wish it was that easy, but it's not. I've tried it a million times- just think "I'm ok the way I am". But somehow self pep talks just never seem to cut it for me.

But girls, there is a way to feel truly confident and truly beautiful. I have experienced this before.... The closer we are to God in our relationship with him, the more we begin to overflow with confidence, the feeling of being loved and sought after, and authentically beautiful.

I want to share with you some of my favorite author, Leslie Ludy, that has had enough of the world's way to finding confidence. I hope it opens your eyes to this subject as it did me. This comes from her book "Set-Apart Femininity".

Despite the well-meaning Christian campaign to boost the modern young woman's self confidence, the reality is that we do not possess anything beautiful or worthwhile in or of ourselves. If we obtain a worldly outer beauty, we only have a propped-up, hollow, fleeting appeal that quickly fades with time and age. As Proverbs 31:30 says, "Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing." And if we muster all the human heroism and try to become a "good person", we only have a self-made, faltering form of goodness that can never stand against the stunning righteousness of Jesus Christ.

At first glance, it may appear to be wonderful and even spiritual sounding message to discover our own beauty and learn to love and accept ourselves "just the way we are". But if we rely on something that we possess to make us beautiful, we cannot receive the supernatural, transforming beauty of Jesus Christ.

This is the whole point of the Gospel: the whole message of what Christ does for us. We must lay down everything of self and be overtaken by a power, strength, beauty, and grace that is wholly not our own. That's when we find the ability to live out the supernatural, divinely beautiful, valiantly herioc Proverbs 31 life that He has called us to live as set-apart women.

Our sinful, self-lovingature urges us to buy into the idea that in and of ourselves we are important, noticed, and captivating. Yet the truth of the Gospel is not based on our intrinsic loveliness, but the fact that Christ loved us even while we were yet sinners, naked and covered in our own blood and shame (see Ezekial 16:6).

Any human beauty, any human value that we might find within ourselves is just a filthy rag compared to the limitless beauty and glory of Jesus Christ. Christ's beauty is perfect. And, in spite of what we deserve, He desires to adorn us with is spectacular glory. He may choose to showcase His beauty through us in a unique way, through our own individual personalities or the special gifts He has given us. But it is not our unique beauty that must shine for this world to see. It is not our own beauty that we must discover and embrace-- it is His.

We will not overcome our insecurities and gain the sparkling confidence we long for by singing "The Greatest Love of All" or reading books that exhort us to "live out our own beauty". And we will not become world-changing, set-apart women by letting "self flash off frame and face." The secret to becoming the radiant, beautiful, alluring, lily-white princess of childhood dreams is forgetting all about self and becoming completely consumed with only one thing-- Jesus Christ.

How encouraging that is to me today! I don't have to look to my self, as I do all too often, to find confidence. But rather I can look to my Jesus, and as I fall more in love with Him he gives me a true confident radiance and beauty that can only come from Him. My prayer is that as women, we can all give our insecurities to Him and allow Him to begin transforming our lives, attitudes, and confidence.

"If a soul has any beauty, it is because Christ has endowed that soul with His own, for in ourselves we are deformed and defiled! There is no beauty in any of us but what our Lord has worked in us." - Charles Spurgeon

Like a lily among thorns is my darling among the maidens.
-Song of Solomon 2:2

Catching Up

Wow. I haven't had a chance to post in so long. I have missed writing in my blog! But the past few weeks have been crazy busy with Thanksgiving, finals, etc. My first day of break is today. Whew, I can finally catch my breath and relax for a bit. I'm definitely going to enjoy this month of freedom, it has been a long time coming!!!

Mom and I came down to Meemaw's for the night and so we've had a fun night. We ate dinner and just had some girl talk. Then some exciting news came- my uncle and his wife just got 2 little kiddos to adopt! We are ecstatic! This is the 2nd adoption that has taken place in my family lately. It has truly opened my eyes to the adoption process. It is so touching to see these precious babies come from horrible conditions to a warm and loving home.... and how you so easily love them just like your own. I'm so happy for my aunt and uncle!

Tomorrow we're gonna do a little Christmas shopping. Speaking of Christmas, I'm finally getting in the spirit. My house is now decorated, with our stockings hung over the fireplace. It's cozy- it's nothing fancy, mostly just decorations that Mom has passed down to me. But just knowing it's ours- our home all decorated for Christmas. Being young and married and being able to enjoy our cozy little festive home together is something special for me. It's something I'd always dreamed of. Our first home, a hodge podge of Christmas decorations, a little Christmas tree, and two people who are very blessed.

Last week Ryan and Trev's band All We Know performed in downtown Springfield. They put on an awesome show with some of their new songs that were rockin'! But how they ended it was so touching. Craig gave their testimony as a band, saying this is what they wanted people to take away from them...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=spnxE-s0KKs
Check it out. It honestly melted my heart, of course I am biased, but I was so proud of them.
And I don't think I'd ever loved my husband more. I'm one lucky girl.

I've had a lot of things on my heart lately, things I've wanted to blog about but haven't been by a computer! Now that I'm on break for a month I really want to spend some time growing in the Lord while I won't have as many distractions and things pulling for my time. I definitely feel the difference when I'm not being consistent in reading my bible and spending time with God. I have bought some new books and can't wait to dive into them as well! One more goal is to do some pinterest projects for my house as well as rearranging and decorating/painting in some of our rooms.

Being here with Meemaw is so fun and I love it, but after 2 years it's still soooo hard to be away from my husband. I am so used to our life together and sharing everyday with my best friend, that when I'm away from him it's like a piece of me is missing. We are so attached lol. I never thought I would be this way with someone, but he truly is my other half! I have loved every minute of our marriage, even the hard times, because it has brought us so close and our love has only gotten deeper. I'm thankful and blessed and so happy that God made him perfectly for me! Hopefully over break I can finish the book "Created to be his help-meet" that I had gotten over halfway through. It was so convicting and really showed me God's plan for me as a wife. Maybe there will be posts to come! I love sharing what I'm learning as I continue on this crazy journey of life!

Eat Up!

I had just told Sarah that I hardly ever got the stomach flu. I obviously forgot to knock on wood!

Being sick is no fun, being naseous is the worst. I don't think I will ever be able to handle morning sickness, so props to all you moms out there. Finally though, I am starting to feel like the old me again. At least I've gotten to hang out somewhere besides with my head in a trashcan.

Thanksgiving is next week! Here's to turkey, dressing, and pumpkin pie! I hope I don't end up looking like a stuffed turkey after it's all said and done though. HA! Seriously, on the Today Show this morning they gave tips on how to not eat too much on the holidays. Like eating raw veggies, yogurt, or nuts before the meal and then being able to pass on all the bad stuff. REALLY? The holidays should be the one time people just relax and enjoy some food and family. I'm all for trying to be a healthy eater/person, but not to that extreme. Live a little, people.

So this Thanksgiving, eat up. You are beautiful the way you are. You can run it off the next day if you are that worried about it LOL. Because if I died on Black Friday I'd sure be glad I ate that last piece of pumpkin pie. No regrets!

Cravings

I had such a refreshing weekend at Women of Faith Conference in Oklahoma City. I learned a lot, and I would like to share a few..

First, was worship. WOW! A stadium full of women all standing and singing "Great is Thy Faithfulness". Women of all ages, ones that could sing with experience and ones that only had seen the beginning of the faithfulness of God. It was so neat. Not to mention a tiny glimpse of what heaven might be like!

And then a message that spoke to me:

God has placed eternity in our hearts.

Ecclesiates 3:11 ...He has also set eternity in the hearts of men.

I too often run into the problem of craving more. "Well I'd just be happier if I had newer clothes, or if we put down new flooring in the house, or if Ryan took me on fancier dates, or if he did this or that, or if I was just a wee bit skinnier". Not every day do I battle this, but I do have those days when I'm just in a crummy mood soley because of cravings. Too often we think it's those world things that cause us to long for more, but really it's something that wordly things can never satisfy. God has placed eternity in our hearts, and our heart will never be completely satisfied until it finds rest in Him, in heaven. This isn't our home and this world will never be enough.... but He will.

So ultimately I learned that as a human I will always be craving until I get to heaven, because that's what my heart is longing for! But I also know that instead of focusing on these worldly cravings, when they happen if I can seek the Lord and begin craving His word and peace in my life, I will be much closer to finding true fulfillment and satisfaction. It's not really the clothes or the flooring or the extra attention from my husband or being stick thin, it's the peace and joy and love and comfort I find when I seek what my heart is really longing for-
my Heavenly Father.

I feel like if more people would act on this, and when they found themselves longing for more they would turn to the Lord, for that unfailing love they are truly craving. I believe there would be fewer broken relationships, divorce, etc.

That was a good lesson I learned that I want to begin applying to my life. And let me tell you, this morning on my way to clinicals I was nervous and dreading it and scared of being inadequate. And I spent the drive in praying and spending time with the Lord, reflecting on His promises to me. And I was more confident today- not necessarily better, just more secure that I am enough and that He isn't going to leave me high and dry.

(being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. -Philippians 1:6)

I wish I had time to share everything the ladies talked about this weekend, but I'll save them for posts to come!

2 Years Down, 100 To Go!

Whew. Time to catch up.

First off, I'm hungry. So this post may be cut short LOL. I'm craving one of our new fav dinners! Chipotle Raspberry BBQ (light) Ranch Chicken pizza on whole wheat crust topped with red onions, green peppers, and mozzerella. (My mouth watered just at the thought of this delicous dish). And I fully intend on cooking it AS SOON AS I GET HOME.

I'm on a kick this week. I've done perfect on my eating and exercise. I spent a little too much on groceries this week, but it costs more to eat healthy and I've been coming up with some super healthy dishes! This excites me. I have to be in the mood to cook and lately it's all I've wanted to do! I'm also going to make "kale chips tonight" so we'll see how that turns out. I may have to share the recipe if they turn out alright-- I've seen them in stores and they are amazingly good for you and supposedly a yummy alternative for potato chips.

Ok, enough about that! I've been dying to share about my 2 year anniversary surprise...
Ry got home and we headed up to Branson where he wouldn't tell me anything except to dress nice. He had reservations at Olive Garden (my fav) where we demolished some salad and bread sticks and pasta! Then he drove on down the strip without telling me where we were going, and surprised me by taking me to a show!!! It was the beginning of their Christmas show and I was so excited!!! We love going to the Branson shows like two little old people, but it's something we've always enjoyed together :) Afterwards we hit up Andys for custard and then got a hotel for the night. The next morning we enjoyed breakfast and mochas/lattes at Starbucks and headed on to the Landing to shop. I enjoyed myself so much.... and it was SOOO cute to see how proud Ryan was of himself for planning it all. He didn't say it, but I could tell and it just melted my heart LOL ok, enough with the mushy stuff. sorry guys! But just having a weekend totally focused on each other, good conversation, and lots of laughs does the heart good =]

I am so thankful for these 2 years. God has given me a wonderful gift in Ryan.

I think I'm going to the Women of Faith Conference in Oklahoma City tomorrow. I didn't think I was going to get to at first, but looks like its working out. I pray that God uses the speakers/musicians to speak to us women! I am excited to be uplifted and brought closer to my Lord! I'll definitely share about it when I get back!

peppermint mocha pandora days

ahhh, it's NOVEMBER people!

There are more than one reasons why I love this month:

• Our anniversary is the 7th! 2 years with my wonderful husband= celebration!!


• Thanksgiving! The one day it's totally OKAY to eat allll day long & not feel guilty.


• Beautiful weather & gorgeous trees/leaves that make me see God all around me


• The yummy coffee creamers that come out. Hello Pumpkin Spice Latte, Gingerbread, Peppermint Mocha, etc. (I could go on)


• We get to start using our cute little fireplace= coziness


• The Christmas prepartation begins! Music, decorations, cocoa, parties, etc!

So, you get the point! It's a good month if I say so myself. I've seen a lot of people posting about THANKFULNESS this month, which is awesome. We have so much to be thankful for!!! Today, I am thankful for discovering the Christy Nockels station on Pandora. Ryan's mechanics sometimes walk in and I'm belting some crazy high note. Embarassing, but good stuff nonetheless. It's neat to me that God wants our worship wherever we are, and lets us experience that even if we're in a greasy truck shop =]

Anyways, I needed to use the computer for a bit so I decided to run from my house over here to Ryan's shop... about a mile OF HILLS. I barely made it up the last hill to his shop, his grandpa was on the porch laughing at me. I must have been a funny site gasping for air "running" up the hill red as a beet. This saddens me so much, at one point in my life I could run 6 miles. Oh well, I ran today. And that's better than most days for me LOL! The only part I didn't fully consider was the getting back home part. Oh dear...