A Certain Sign of Grace

Every year when Spring approaches the lyrics to one of my favorite songs comes to my mind:

But a certain sign of grace is this-
From the broken earth, flowers come up
Pushing through the dirt.

What a picture of grace! From dirt comes a beautiful flower.

As Spring approaches, I begin dreaming about my own life, my own heart. What beautiful things will I allow the Lord to grow in or through me? What will He use in my broken, dirty, sinful self to make something beautiful? And is my heart ready and willing to let Him do so?

I'm ready to bloom in new ways still. So much of the past year and a half I have focused on GRACE in my life as I became a new mother. I have bloomed (and am still!) from a clueless, scared, preggo girl to a MOM who wakes up ready to tackle another day with my ornery toddler. I've seen God's grace in the process. It's been a season of growing and blooming- taking my brokenness, fears, and flaws and shaping them into something beautiful. Messy, but oh so beautiful.

So as this new season approaches, I wonder what is in store next?

COMMUNITY has been on my heart. I have been blessed with WONDERFUL friends, and perhaps forming these new relationships that have blessed my heart within the last few years has been what has spurred me on to dream even bigger? Perhaps it's the times as a young mom you may feel alone in the process? My dream has been to start a group of mamas who encourage one another, pray for one another, and just are simply there for one another. To have playdates with our babies and just do life together!

I started a group on FB a few months ago, but have been too nervous waiting for warmer weather to start having the playdates. God hasn't let the idea of community leave my heart, so I know it's time. I just set the date to start meeting up this month- in just a few weeks!!!

My point is- I pray that God can use my insecurities and doubt to form something beautiful! I struggle at times with this. I desire relationships, but I often have insecurities that rise up. Don't we all? Something that tells us "they won't like you. you won't fit it. you're not good enough." I'm sick of believing the lie. I'm ready to allow God's GRACE to be at work in my heart and life. Exciting, huh?! ((if you're a mama with a kid/kiddos 4 & under and would like to join our Mom Group- message me on FB))

How will God use YOU in this new season that radiates GRACE?
Let's let Him use us to make something beautiful!!!

{Self Care For Moms} Caring For Your Soul Day 3: Be Inspired

We started with caring for our souls by inviting Jesus into our daily lives and walking hand-in-hand with him throughout our day. We talked about how to do this when the world seems to be against us. Now that we have covered the most important part of caring for our souls, let's talk about a few other ways to revive ourselves from the inside out!

Caring For Your Soul Day 3: Be Inspired 

INSPIRATION.

What inspires you? Makes you feel alive? 

I often struggle with guilt when doing something for myself. As moms and wives, we are called to be selfless and serve our family FIRST. But that doesn't mean that we have to give up things that we love and fill our souls. Feeling inspired puts us in a place where we want to help others, use our talents, and be the best we can be!

Here are some tips on BEING INSPIRED :)

1) Always be reading a good book. I love books, I have read fiction in the past and enjoyed it as well, but right now I love reading from books that encourage me in my walk with Christ or journey of motherhood! Those are the areas I need encouragment in right now. I always find that even after reading a few pages or chapters a day, I feel inspired! Do you like to read? Some of my favorite authors are Leslie Ludy and Karen Kingsbury.

2) Seek out beauty. There is nothing that inspires me more than gazing upon something beautiful. Here's some ideas:

• Get outside and enjoy nature. I looooove soaking in God's creation! It's guaranteed to brighten my mood. Taking a quick walk or sitting on the front porch and just being still for a few moments at home revitalizes me. Take a moment to watch the snow fall. When the weather is good, we love going as a family to explore. We enjoy parks, hiking, camping, swimming, etc. Just getting outside and enjoying the beauty of it inspires me! (bring on spring!!!!)
• Art! Create it. View it. Be inspired by it!
• Make your home beautiful. Lately I've done little DIY projects to brighten up our home and I feel much happier just seeing the little touches here and there. Even things like lighting a candle and playing soft music sets the tone and can calm your soul.
• Create an inspiration board. Hello Pinterest! Pin things that are beautiful, inspire you to be a better you, or dreams you have. When you are feeling uninspired, take a moment to browse over those things that speak to you.

3) Be inspired by others. One way I get inspiration is through the blog community. I love to read other women's journeys and takes on things. I subscribe to Bloglovin' and follow my favorite blogs. Some that I highly recommend are Naptime Diaries, The Vanilla Tulip, Momastery, and Diapers & Daisies! The are real women who love God & blog to inspire others! What blogs do you find inspiring? 

4) Always have a mentor and be mentoring someone else. This was great advice given to me when I was younger. Do you have a person you meet with or intentionally make time to talk to every so often who inspires you, challenges you, and speaks life into you? On the flip side, you should find someone younger than you and take under your wing. You'll find that as you encourage and help them that you in turn are inspired and feel rewarded.

5) Music. I'm a lyrics girl. They speak to me. Find music that inspires you and sets the beat for your day!

Hope those tips inspired you to be inspired :) What ways do you find inspiration? 

{Self Care for Moms} Caring For Your Soul Day One: Spending Time with Jesus

Do you find yourself exhausted at the end of the day- dreaming of something (anything!) to pamper yourself with, all while trying to remember what the word shower means? As moms we give of ourselves from daylight to dark and often forget, or simply can't find the time, to take care of ourselves in the midst of it all.

My friend Heather (who blogs over at http://heatherandjosharnold.blogspot.com ) and I are kicking off a blog series today on our take of "Selfcare For Moms". Selfcare has been on my heart lately, as it's something I have struggled with since becoming a mom 16 months ago and a topic that seems to be hot in the blog world lately.

Our first week in the series will be:

Starting at the basic most part. If you don't meet your deepest needs as a woman, as a child of God, all the other types of self care will do no good- there will be an emptiness. Have you ever done it in reverse? Caring for your body, your home, your health all before caring for the person you are on the inside? The lady desiring to be unconditionally loved, to be sought after, to feel as if she has a purpose? The lady with dreams and ideas and passions of her own? The lady desiring to be loved and treasured by her Creator?

My friends, we often start at the wrong place.

When our souls feel weary and we need refreshment- instead of buying a new outfit, getting a new hair do, or taking a luxurious bubble bath, we must start in our souls. Although all those other things are nice, if we don't care for our soul then after the initial thrill is over we will still be left feeling like we need more. 

So that's where I'm starting today!

The most important self care we can do for ourselves as mamas, AND for our husbands, children, and friends is to spend time with Jesus.

Day One: Spending Time with Jesus

As moms we put a lot of pressure on ourselves.

Do you ever feel this way? I sure do! I feel like I need to accomplish a long list each day to fulfill my duty as "mom" or "wife". I stress if I feel like I'm not doing ENOUGH. I hit the floor running most mornings- working on my to do list. And before I know it I'm overwhelmed, cranky, and feeling like I need a time-out a lot more than my toddler does :) 

Too often I forget the most important thing I can do for my family is to LOVE JESUS and seek him daily. Only then will I be able to serve them lovingly, to put their needs before my own, to teach them right from wrong, and do it all with JOY. 

True refreshment, encouragement, and satisfaction comes from Jesus. And as a mother trying to give so much of herself, it's so important to draw strength from Him instead of trying so hard to do it on our own, and always feeling like we come up short. 

The days I choose to start with The Lord and focus on His word and time with Him in prayer are the days that I find myself feeling accomplished, joyful, and content.

So what are some tips for spending time with The Lord?

1)Make it a priority. When my eyes pop open in the morning, one of the first things I'm tempted to do is grab my phone and scroll through Facebook and IG as I lay there and wake up. A few weeks ago, I decided to make a deal with myself that I would spend time with God first before allowing myself to look at any social media. Gage still sleeps with us, so for the past few weeks I've had my quiet time in bed praying and reading my Bible before my feet even hit the floor for the day. My flesh wants to see the latest happenings on Facebook, but my soul thanks me when I get my priorities straight and start my day right.

2) Start small. As moms, we're busy. We may still have babies that don't sleep through the night. We may not even be able go to the bathroom without tiny feet following right behind us. I understand you may not have the opportunity to get up early and spend hours reading your Bible. But you probably do have 10 minutes at the beginning of your day to focus on The Lord. I have found that a cup of coffee, reading a few verses in my Bible, and then praying over the upcoming day does me wonders. It refreshes my soul, encourages me to love my family that day, and leaves me thinking over those verses throughout the day. 

3) Pray continually. Thessalonians 5:16-18 Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. Prayer doesn't have to be hard. God cares about the minor details! Being in conversation with Him throughout the day helps us in tough moments and fills us with joy in happy moments. Why feel alone when our Savior is just waiting for us to talk to Him?

By starting each day with Jesus, our souls are recharged and ready to conquer whatever awaits us. The first step to any self care is Him! Let Him love you like no one else and refresh your soul through Him alone. 

Be sure to go over to Heather's blog tomorrow for Day 2 of Caring For Your Soul.

Please comment with ways you cultivate time with Jesus!

Walk by the Spirit

Starting soon after I met my best friend Sarah at the park & our moms realized thatwe lived just a few miles apart, our moms began walking together daily on our dirt road. That was almost 20 years ago and they continue to this day.

 

Over the years of walking together, a very special friendship formed. Now Sarah, her sisters, and I have joined in to and love to walk together every chance we get.

It's a time to tell stories, laugh, give and receive advice, and if anything else know that you have a companion next ya as you are huffing and puffing trying to get up that hill!

What a blessing to have friends, who are now much more like family, to walk through life with! Literally!

 

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That brings me to daily life. How many days do I try to struggle up the hills of life without my walking partner? Without Him I'm left feeling inadequate, alone, and insecure. Feelings that as a woman in today's world are really easy to let rise up.

 

I read Galatians 5 this morning and realized that I've probably been walking in the flesh a little more than I'd like to admit.

 

Galatians 5:16

So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh.

 

It goes on to list the "acts of the flesh" in verse 19. At first my pride jumps in and says "those are really awful things, of course I'd never have them in my life!" And then I look a little closer:

hatred

discord

jealousy

fits of rage

selfish ambition

envy

-------------------------

 

OUCH.

If I was being really honest, I'd say that those things could be found behind closed doors in my home or in my heart quite often.

 

As Christians we have a walking partner waiting to take our hand and walk daily with us- right by our side. And yet so often I choose to walk through life on my own. Why??

 

Verse 13 says, "You, my brothers and sisters, were CALLED TO BE FREE!"  It goes on to talk about not being free by induldging in the flesh, but serving one another in HUMBLE LOVE.

 

Why am I living in bondage when God calls me to be free?? And all I have to do is WALK WITH HIM!

 

In my own flesh I can't humbly love my husband when he shows up late with no call letting me know where he was and a cold dinner on the table. But if I'm walking with the Spirit, I have freedom from the hatred and fits of rage that want to rise up within me. I can look on social media and instead of becoming jealous of women around me who have a nicely decorated home or just got flowers from their husband, and can be geniunely happy for my sister in Christ. I can go about my days serving others joyfully instead of never feeling satisfied from a heart full of selfish ambition.

 

My prayer today is that the "acts of flesh" would disappear from my life as I choose to daily walk with my Savior. Not only would they disappear, but that the fruit of the Spirit would replace them.

 

Galatians 5:22

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, & self-control.

 

Doesn't that sound so much lovelier?

 

Verse 24&25 say

Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh and its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit!!!

 

Oh that I would daily keep in step with Jesus and it would become evident in my life. I need a renewal and a fresh start. Today is the day I say no to flesh & choose to walk with Him.

What about you??

 

Setting the tone of your home.

I've been thinking a lot lately about how it is my job as the wife to set the tone of our home.

When we first got married I literally had no idea how to even do laundry correctly, let alone keep a whole house in order. For the first year or more our house wasn't disgusting, but it was definitely far from spic and span.

While pregnant with Gage I was on a mission to have a spotless home. You could call it a bad case of nesting, I guess. And since then, keeping our home clean has been a priority of mine. No, it's hardly ever deep cleaned- and there are probably a few cob webs and dust bunnies hanging around here and there, but it's important to me to be able to feel at rest and cozy in our home. I can't feel peaceful if there is laundry piled on the couch or toys covering the living room floor. Yes, at points throughout the day it looks like this... but when it's time for Ryan to come home I like to have it all picked up so that when he comes in he can feel at rest too.

Putting on my big girl pants and learning how to keep a house tidy is just one of many things I've discovered helps set the tone of my home.

Our house isn't big. We don't have the nicest of everything- in fact there are many changes I would make if money allowed. But instead of wanting more and not being content in my home- I want to make what we do have into something that we love and feel at home in.

One thing I'm big on is candles. I love in the evenings as it gets darker outside to light a candle and have my scentsy pot burning. I love yummy scents like cinnamon roll, pumpkin pie, and hazelnut latte for fall.

Another thing I'm big on lately is turning the TV off. Very rarely throughout the day do I even turn on the TV since having Gage. I've gotten used to peace and quiet and now the background noise of a TV when we aren't watching it drives me crazy! I feel like we can spend more quality time with one another without feeling like we constantly have to have the TV blaring in the background.

When I think of how I want my home to feel these words come to mind:
cozy, comfortable, warm, inviting.

That's one of the many jobs we as the wives/women of the home have. I have by no means mastered this, but these are just a few of things that I've been working on regarding our home.

I want my husband to look forward to coming home, and I want my children to grow up in an environment that they will look back at with fond memories. A home that they will always want to come back to when they're older. A place of peace and rest.

What ways do you set the tone in your home? I'd love any tips you have!!!

You have called me higher.

It's been so long since I have put my fingers to a keyboard. Not having WIFI at home for awhile was a good break though. It's easy with all the technology and social media at our fingertips to have our face in a screen instead of being with the people around us. So all-in-all the break was nice. At night, Ryan and I had less things to suck us in (blogging, youtube videos, etc.) and we have got in the habit of spending more time together. Just laying on the couch and having some great conversations.

I like that.

But I also like that I'm back to the blogging world. You wouldn't believe all the times over the last few months that I had something on my heart and my fingers were just itching to type it out.

For me, it's a release. To put my feelings into words and to share it with others. Sure, sometimes I have to be vulnerable. But the amazing thing is that when another person can relate or say "I've totally been there and it's going to be okay" or to know that it encourages someone else to keep on keepin' on-- it's a great feeling! And I've missed that. The community. The accountability.

So... where do I start?

I feel like so much has happened in my heart and life since I last posted!

I will say this- last year I saw where a few people had made a theme or even chosen a word for the new year. 2014 is approaching and I'm wondering what I want to strive for and focus on as we have a fresh start. Ryan and I sat down a few nights ago and pondered this.

It didn't take long for me to know what my goal is.

It's something over the last few months, maybe even half year, that the Lord has been whispering to me. It's strange- I will just be going along about my day and these words will pop into my head:

"Be Intentional."

Maybe I've mentioned it before on here. It's been on my heart for awhile.

Has that ever happened to you? You feel God telling you something, gently nudging you to change, sweetly reminding you throughout your day? And yet it's hard to take the step out in faith?

I'm definitely there.

I was cooking dinner a few nights ago and listening to Pandora, when this song came on. I had heard it before, as a friend (Mikayla!!) had sang it in the past and I loved it. But this time the words stopped me in my tracks.

 

"I could hold on. I could hold on to who I am and never let You change me from the inside."

"BUT You have called me HIGHER. You have called me DEEPER."

 

Friends, I'm tired of hearing God speak to me and holding onto to who I am because I'm comfortable. I feel like a new chapter is about to begin in my life as I allow Him to make me into the person he has CALLED me to be. As Christians, He has called us ALL higher and deeper. To be more than this world, to say no to flesh, to say yes to the Holy Spirit and allow him to work through us.

 

"And I'll go where you will lead me, Lord."

 

 

Where is He leading you? What has He been whispering ever so gently to you, nudging you to let go of who you are and let Him change you from the inside?

 

...of man or of God?

"There are so many laws, rules, and formulas out there for moms that can pile up burdens of guilt on any mom. I think this is why Jesus was so harsh in His condemnation of the Pharisees actions and attitudes. Living by performance always kills our souls because none of us are perfect mothers, and we will fail in some areas, so we need to live by God's approval and mercy to feel His grace." 

The moment I found out I was pregnant the research began. I was bound to have the healthiest pregnancy and be the best mom. I was going to do it all by the book- whatever they told me was best for my baby I was going to do it.

Fast forward to Gage at around 5 months- I'm in the living room crying, covering my ears as he screams from his crib in our bedroom. Ryan is watching the clock and informing me when the five minutes is up and I can go in and at least touch and comfort him. In that moment I exhaustion and complete failure, I wanted to throw my hands in the air and give up. My baby wasn't sleeping. I'd rock for hours and the moment I laid him down- POP! The eyes came open and the screaming began. The experts told me Cry It Out (and I know it totally works for others and I am in no way judging CIO parents) but it just didn't work for us. The next night he was in bed with us and sleeping 11 hrs straight.

I was so hard on myself at first for giving in. But why, Kaysi??

Who makes up these rules that you "have to follow as a parent or else you feel guilty"? Is your baby happy? YES. Are you happy? YES. Point proven.

That's just one example of many. There are so many "rules" or expectations for moms. Even on what we feed our families, how we decorate our homes, how we dress our children.

It can be quite exhausting trying to keep up with it all and fit the mold.

Galatians 1:10 

For am I now seeking the approval of man or of God?....

This kinda slapped me in the face- after a few weeks of feeling inadequate as a mom, a wife, and just a woman in today's world in general. Who am I trying to impress here?

Am I seeking God- or the newest edition of Parenting magazine? Am I spending my time comparing my marriage to others or am I seeking God and asking him how to be the wife He wants me to be. 

The Bible needs to be my go-to again instead of Google.

It's an easy trap to get caught in.

But this morning I woke early, had a cup of coffee, and spent some time in the Word. I let The Lord speak to me and just soaked in His love for me and asked him to mold me into a woman whose desire was to please HIM before anyone else.

Wouldn't our homes be a happier place if they were filled with wives and mamas who were filled with the Holy Spirit and delighting in The Lord, instead of ones discouraged and bogged down by the expectations and comparisons we place on ourselves? I know mine would.