Comparison Steals Joy.

Why do I struggle with insecurity and inadquecy, especially now that I have a few extra pounds of baby weight still hanging on & a few, or a lot, of stretch marks on my belly? That I graduated as an RN but am not exactly using that degree the way some others think I should be? That my house isn't decorated so so? That my clothes might be a little lacking in the lastest styles?

I have focused so much on guarding my heart through the years, especially as a young girl waiting patiently on the man God had for me. My prayer was to have a pure heart before God, that He would guard it and keep it for Him and His glory....

But now.....

What about guarding my EYES?

((http://inspiredtoaction.com/2012/06/guarding-my-eyes-so-i-dont-compare-myself/))
((I found the article above and wanted to share a blurb from it, that really helped me!))

The Comparison Trap:

Comparing ourselves to others steals from us. It steals our joy in Christ. It blinds us to the ways He’s designed us individually and purposefully. And if we fall in the comparison pit, we will find ourselves sulking in the shade because they don’t have stretch marks.

Maybe you or I don’t physically look like someone else. We may sag or have wrinkles or cover the grey. But I pray we open our ears to the truths from the mouth of our Lord. I pray we have a fresh desire for the favor of our God. He’s the One who looks at the heart, not at our waistline.

He takes our cute little face into His massive hands and says, “Lift your eyes up, sweet daughter, and look at Me. Look at My face. I say that you are absolutely adorable. Believe Me. Believe what I say about you.”

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Does it matter what my waistline is if my relationship with God is out of whack? He looks at my HEART.

As girls, it's so easy to start hating. When we look at girls and wish that we had that outfit, that body, that hairstyle. Instead of being like "WOW! She is really pretty, I'd like to be her friend" we usually come up with something like "She's not as pretty as she thinks she is, I mean look at that nose." or "She just thinks she's too good..." It comes from an insecure heart- one that is intimidated.

I don't know about you, but I hate feeling that way.

I want to GUARD MY EYES. To quit COMPARING MYSELF and to see myself th way God sees me! To LOVE myself! To not focus on appearance, but to focus on believing the truth. And that's that "He takes our cute little face into His massive hands and says, “Lift your eyes up, sweet daughter, and look at Me. Look at My face. I say that you are absolutely adorable. Believe Me. Believe what I say about you.”

What about you? Ever struggle with this?

4 months

Gage,

You turned 4 months on the 5th. I'm starting to understand what everyone means when the say "it flies by". It seems like yesterday I was in the hospital having you and today you still are a little baby, but you sure are developing your own little personality!

You wear size 3-6 months in your sleepers now, and size 0-3 & 3 months in your regular clothes. We missed your 4 month appointment due to the flu season, so I'm anxious to see what you weigh! According to our home scale, you are somewhere around 12 lbs. You have definitely put on the pounds this last month! What a little "chunky monkey" you are! Daddy even has his song he sings to you "he's a chunky monkey monkey monkey monkey"... and you love it!

You have got good at tummy time this month!!! You hold your head up so good, and you even.............DRUMROLL................rolled over 3 times! And that was it! haha One night recently when your dad was on the phone and you and I were on the floor playing, you just did it. I was halfway listening to your dad's conversation, and next thing I knew I saw you roll on over! We put you back up and you did it two more times. As soon as I ran and got the video camera, you quit. And you haven't done it since! HA! Maybe you forgot that you know how? Momma was worried that you were behind, but now I know that you are just stubborn. You know how to do it and you're capable of doing it, you just don't feel like it. And that's ok. I just can't figure out where you get that stubborness from? Hmmm...... :)

You now DROOL everywhere. Between spit up and drool, we change your clothes probably 3-4 times a day if not more.

You get cracked up a lot now. Things you laugh at:

• snorting like a pig
• making a "vroom vroom" noise like Daddy's truck
• us jumping, dancing, & acting like fools
• "BOO!" (you kinda like to be scared/startled- your eyes get really big and then you laugh)

You're becoming more predictable. We are learning each other, it's a lot of fun! You still like your bedtime routine.... and you like it only with your Mom. We've tried Dad rocking you and it's apparently just not the same for you. I think it's cute... even when I'm exhausted and wish you'd let Daddy help too, I have to remember you are only going to be this little once. So I take a long look at your little face, breathe in your sweet baby smell, and hold you a bit closer. I cherish these times, rocking away at night, singing you songs that your Granny Erma liked to sing, and kissing your soft chubby cheeks.  Speaking of exhausted, SON you are wearing me out! You went from going to bed between 8 and 9 and sleeping 6-8 hours straight to not wanting to go to bed until 10, 11, or 12... and waking up like 10 times before you'll stay in your crib. I swear, you can be in the deepest sleep as I'm rocking you and then I lay you in your crib and those eyes pop open! But that's ok, I'm trying to cherish every moment and I have full faith that you will be back to your normal sleep habits soon..... (very soon, pretty please! haha)

We tried you on rice cereal! Within just a few days you were like a baby bird when that spoon came your way. You were a pro at eating from a spoon! Buuuuuut the rice, which is supposed to be easy on most bellies, wasn't on yours. It hurt your belly & apparently stopped you up! After 4 days of no dirty diapers, we gave you a little pear juice to do the trick. It worked, and we have took a break from any other food expect nursing again. Here in a few weeks we will probably try again and go straight to some veggies. Get excited!

Nursing has became a special time for us. Before, I'd pump a lot when we went places. Now we'll just have a little nursing session in the car. You are a pro at that too, and momma loves all the cuddle time. I'm so glad we stuck it out and I hope it continues to go as smooth as it is now.

You are really noticing everything about your surroundings now! You love watching Jack, your puppy dog, and when you are at Gram's you love to look at the window at all her puppies as they play.  Gage, you are obsessed with TV. I don't know how it happened, but you LOVE IT! Veggie Tales and Bubble Guppies is your favorite, and you just watched Blue's Clues for the first time this week. I think if I would let you, you would sit in your swing and watch it all day... You get so excited kicking your legs and arms around and laughing out at it! It's the funniest thing to watch!

You are using your hands a lot now! You can reach out and grab toys that we hold in front of you. And of course, everything goes straight to your mouth! You love to grab your toys and then chew on them! It's really cute.

You are so sweet. You love your Momma & Daddy. You still love to talk and jabber away with your dad. You can't keep your eyes off your Momma if I'm anywhere in your site. It's so funny, others will try to talk to you and you'll just be staring at me!

There are so many other little things, and I could go on and on... but I'll end with what your Daddy has been telling you lately....

I love you big time!