I've been thinking a lot lately about how it is my job as the wife to set the tone of our home.
When we first got married I literally had no idea how to even do laundry correctly, let alone keep a whole house in order. For the first year or more our house wasn't disgusting, but it was definitely far from spic and span.
While pregnant with Gage I was on a mission to have a spotless home. You could call it a bad case of nesting, I guess. And since then, keeping our home clean has been a priority of mine. No, it's hardly ever deep cleaned- and there are probably a few cob webs and dust bunnies hanging around here and there, but it's important to me to be able to feel at rest and cozy in our home. I can't feel peaceful if there is laundry piled on the couch or toys covering the living room floor. Yes, at points throughout the day it looks like this... but when it's time for Ryan to come home I like to have it all picked up so that when he comes in he can feel at rest too.
Putting on my big girl pants and learning how to keep a house tidy is just one of many things I've discovered helps set the tone of my home.
Our house isn't big. We don't have the nicest of everything- in fact there are many changes I would make if money allowed. But instead of wanting more and not being content in my home- I want to make what we do have into something that we love and feel at home in.
One thing I'm big on is candles. I love in the evenings as it gets darker outside to light a candle and have my scentsy pot burning. I love yummy scents like cinnamon roll, pumpkin pie, and hazelnut latte for fall.
Another thing I'm big on lately is turning the TV off. Very rarely throughout the day do I even turn on the TV since having Gage. I've gotten used to peace and quiet and now the background noise of a TV when we aren't watching it drives me crazy! I feel like we can spend more quality time with one another without feeling like we constantly have to have the TV blaring in the background.
When I think of how I want my home to feel these words come to mind:
cozy, comfortable, warm, inviting.
That's one of the many jobs we as the wives/women of the home have. I have by no means mastered this, but these are just a few of things that I've been working on regarding our home.
I want my husband to look forward to coming home, and I want my children to grow up in an environment that they will look back at with fond memories. A home that they will always want to come back to when they're older. A place of peace and rest.
What ways do you set the tone in your home? I'd love any tips you have!!!
Monday, November 25, 2013
Friday, November 22, 2013
You have called me higher.
It's been so long since I have put my fingers to a keyboard. Not having WIFI at home for awhile was a good break though. It's easy with all the technology and social media at our fingertips to have our face in a screen instead of being with the people around us. So all-in-all the break was nice. At night, Ryan and I had less things to suck us in (blogging, youtube videos, etc.) and we have got in the habit of spending more time together. Just laying on the couch and having some great conversations.
I like that.
But I also like that I'm back to the blogging world. You wouldn't believe all the times over the last few months that I had something on my heart and my fingers were just itching to type it out.
For me, it's a release. To put my feelings into words and to share it with others. Sure, sometimes I have to be vulnerable. But the amazing thing is that when another person can relate or say "I've totally been there and it's going to be okay" or to know that it encourages someone else to keep on keepin' on-- it's a great feeling! And I've missed that. The community. The accountability.
So... where do I start?
I feel like so much has happened in my heart and life since I last posted!
I will say this- last year I saw where a few people had made a theme or even chosen a word for the new year. 2014 is approaching and I'm wondering what I want to strive for and focus on as we have a fresh start. Ryan and I sat down a few nights ago and pondered this.
It didn't take long for me to know what my goal is.
It's something over the last few months, maybe even half year, that the Lord has been whispering to me. It's strange- I will just be going along about my day and these words will pop into my head:
"Be Intentional."
Maybe I've mentioned it before on here. It's been on my heart for awhile.
Has that ever happened to you? You feel God telling you something, gently nudging you to change, sweetly reminding you throughout your day? And yet it's hard to take the step out in faith?
I'm definitely there.
I was cooking dinner a few nights ago and listening to Pandora, when this song came on. I had heard it before, as a friend (Mikayla!!) had sang it in the past and I loved it. But this time the words stopped me in my tracks.
I like that.
But I also like that I'm back to the blogging world. You wouldn't believe all the times over the last few months that I had something on my heart and my fingers were just itching to type it out.
For me, it's a release. To put my feelings into words and to share it with others. Sure, sometimes I have to be vulnerable. But the amazing thing is that when another person can relate or say "I've totally been there and it's going to be okay" or to know that it encourages someone else to keep on keepin' on-- it's a great feeling! And I've missed that. The community. The accountability.
So... where do I start?
I feel like so much has happened in my heart and life since I last posted!
I will say this- last year I saw where a few people had made a theme or even chosen a word for the new year. 2014 is approaching and I'm wondering what I want to strive for and focus on as we have a fresh start. Ryan and I sat down a few nights ago and pondered this.
It didn't take long for me to know what my goal is.
It's something over the last few months, maybe even half year, that the Lord has been whispering to me. It's strange- I will just be going along about my day and these words will pop into my head:
"Be Intentional."
Maybe I've mentioned it before on here. It's been on my heart for awhile.
Has that ever happened to you? You feel God telling you something, gently nudging you to change, sweetly reminding you throughout your day? And yet it's hard to take the step out in faith?
I'm definitely there.
I was cooking dinner a few nights ago and listening to Pandora, when this song came on. I had heard it before, as a friend (Mikayla!!) had sang it in the past and I loved it. But this time the words stopped me in my tracks.
"I could hold on. I could hold on to who I am and never let You change me from the inside."
"BUT You have called me HIGHER. You have called me DEEPER."
Friends, I'm tired of hearing God speak to me and holding onto to who I am because I'm comfortable. I feel like a new chapter is about to begin in my life as I allow Him to make me into the person he has CALLED me to be. As Christians, He has called us ALL higher and deeper. To be more than this world, to say no to flesh, to say yes to the Holy Spirit and allow him to work through us.
"And I'll go where you will lead me, Lord."
Where is He leading you? What has He been whispering ever so gently to you, nudging you to let go of who you are and let Him change you from the inside?
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
...of man or of God?
"There are so many laws, rules, and formulas out there for moms that can pile up burdens of guilt on any mom. I think this is why Jesus was so harsh in His condemnation of the Pharisees actions and attitudes. Living by performance always kills our souls because none of us are perfect mothers, and we will fail in some areas, so we need to live by God's approval and mercy to feel His grace."
The moment I found out I was pregnant the research began. I was bound to have the healthiest pregnancy and be the best mom. I was going to do it all by the book- whatever they told me was best for my baby I was going to do it.
Fast forward to Gage at around 5 months- I'm in the living room crying, covering my ears as he screams from his crib in our bedroom. Ryan is watching the clock and informing me when the five minutes is up and I can go in and at least touch and comfort him. In that moment I exhaustion and complete failure, I wanted to throw my hands in the air and give up. My baby wasn't sleeping. I'd rock for hours and the moment I laid him down- POP! The eyes came open and the screaming began. The experts told me Cry It Out (and I know it totally works for others and I am in no way judging CIO parents) but it just didn't work for us. The next night he was in bed with us and sleeping 11 hrs straight.
I was so hard on myself at first for giving in. But why, Kaysi??
Who makes up these rules that you "have to follow as a parent or else you feel guilty"? Is your baby happy? YES. Are you happy? YES. Point proven.
That's just one example of many. There are so many "rules" or expectations for moms. Even on what we feed our families, how we decorate our homes, how we dress our children.
It can be quite exhausting trying to keep up with it all and fit the mold.
Galatians 1:10
For am I now seeking the approval of man or of God?....
This kinda slapped me in the face- after a few weeks of feeling inadequate as a mom, a wife, and just a woman in today's world in general. Who am I trying to impress here?
Am I seeking God- or the newest edition of Parenting magazine? Am I spending my time comparing my marriage to others or am I seeking God and asking him how to be the wife He wants me to be.
The Bible needs to be my go-to again instead of Google.
It's an easy trap to get caught in.
But this morning I woke early, had a cup of coffee, and spent some time in the Word. I let The Lord speak to me and just soaked in His love for me and asked him to mold me into a woman whose desire was to please HIM before anyone else.
Wouldn't our homes be a happier place if they were filled with wives and mamas who were filled with the Holy Spirit and delighting in The Lord, instead of ones discouraged and bogged down by the expectations and comparisons we place on ourselves? I know mine would.
Friday, August 16, 2013
Soak It Up, Mama
I hear pounding on the carpet of dirty little knees crawling as fast as they can to their next destination. I could sigh as I follow behind the diapered booty for the 100th time today as he goes to get into something, anything. But I choose to smile and soak in the sound, as I know in a few weeks it could very well be the little patter of two tiny feet echoing through my house.
He is a little man tonight. Eating bites of a cheeseburger, drinking from a straw, and reaching for another spoonful of ice cream. We sing "This Little Light of Mine" on our Sonic run to keep him happy and his little finger is just shaking back and forth in the back seat.
He still has to be rocked to sleep. Some nights I just want him to crash so I can go spend some downtime with the hubby, but we rock on. Soak it up, mama. He looks us to you with that crooked little grin and then nurses until he falls asleep- his little hand on your chest. Soak it up.
I want to keep him my baby forever. His slobbery kisses and warm cuddles melt my heart. But I also dream of the months and years to come and how he will grow and how my love for him will as well.
I don't understand why God chose me to be his Mom. I fail daily, I feel inadequate at times, and I may not do things according to the book. But God knew I needed him, and in return he needs me. We are a team. I am his biggest fan, and cheer him on even on the tiniest accomplishments. And he teaches me how to love. How to open my heart and feel. How to put my needs last.
I am so grateful. So so grateful.
Soak it up.
These are the days.
Monday, August 12, 2013
Here Lately...
Wow I'm not so good at this whole blogging thing. It's been too long. We currently don't have wifi at the house and of course when I'm not able to sit down and type on the keyboard to share what's on my mind- that's when I have the urge too! Lately there have been many things on my mind that I just want to share and make sense of it in my head as I write it out and hit the "publish" button.
But here I am. Sitting at my parents' house bumming off of their wifi. No, I didn't drive over just to have Internet access. Our AC went out yesterday and you better believe I'll make the drive for some cool air. How did they do it back in the day- especially raising a family?!? Gage ran around the house naked the majority of yesterday resulting in cleaning up two wet spots on the carpet. Just pee, thank The Lord!
Now I'll play catch up.
Summer is coming to an end. I have just worked one (short) day this summer and going back to two full ones away from my baby boy will be an adjustment. Although it is nice to have time to feel like a professional for a few hours. Running around the house with frazzled hair and a frazzled brain chasing a speed crawling, pulling up, eating everything baby can almost make me forget there is a put together woman in there somewhere.
Who I am kidding?
The business slacks and heels just make me look the part. Those two days are nice and I love what I do, but I'd choose being a SAHM 10 times out of 10 if given the choice. I think it's the perfect balance- 2 days working to give me some sanity and some extra cash and being at home with Gage every other day. God definitely opened the doors for this job opportunity and I am thankful.
We made sooo many sweet memories this summer, though! I will cherish them forever.
Speaking of business slacks- I may need to invest in some new ones because this mama is down 8 more lbs as of today! Today marked the end of our 6 week weight loss challenge "A Little Less To Love" hosted by Beth, a good friend who blogs over at http://bethbranstetter.blogspot.com (check it out- her blog is a fave of mine!) It was JUST what I needed to get back on track. In the past 6 weeks I have started running again and that in itself is worth it all to me! Running isn't just to get skinny for me- its a stress reliever and time to just get out and clear my head. It's always usually a great time of worship for me as I love to listen to Elevation Worship on Pandora. I quit running around 12 weeks of pregnancy with Gage and to be back in the groove FINALLY does my heart some good!
I am following the C25K program. I love it because I have a plan and a goal each day, opposed to just going out and trying to push myself to run a certain distance. This program moves fairly quickly and it allowed me to push my body to get back in shape and to feel strong again! I'm halfway thru week 6 now and this morning I ran two miles! Moving on up! My goal is to run a 5K this fall.
Eating is still a struggle for me, as I love food and I'm still nursing Gage so I always feel hungry! But we have tried some new healthy recipes and if I just keep my mind off my crazy carb carb cravings I can do pretty well.
I'm still selling ItWorks and LOVING it! The products are so healthy and make me feel so great so it's something I love sharing with others. Want to wrap? Want some Greens? Hit me up!
So that's where I'm at.
Some days I wish I could just get out, go on a shopping spree with Starbucks in hand, my girls on my right and left, wearing some designer jeans, without a care in the world. Or remodel my house. Or have a full time job with lots of cash to spend however I want. Or have some fancy spa day. Heck, just having time to paint my nails would be nice. But then I'm reminded the reason I'm longing for things like that is because my focus is on ME. And I remember that in this season of my life as a young wife and mom I am called to SELFLESSNESS. To put the needs of others over my selfish desires that I only think will bring me happiness. When in reality, SERVING my family and delighting in The Lord during this special season will bring true JOY.
There is no greater calling, no greater job, no greater joy in anything this world likes to make me think I'm "missing out on". God has placed me in these roles to serve my boys, and on the days where my mind feels bogged down and longing for something I just can't pinpoint- that's when I will take my focus off of me and onto HIM.
Thursday, July 11, 2013
Sin Has Lost Its Power!
Sin has lost its power.
Death has lost its sting.
From the grave you've risen, victoriously!
We sang those words last night at Camp Siloam. Ryan and I drove 2 hours last night to attend the evening service at a place that is very special to the both of us. Ryan went every summer since he was 6 or 7 and I went all of my Jr High and high school years. There is no place like it- a place where the spirit of the Lord dwells and you can guarantee to be changed! All while having a BLAST.
On the way over we chatted about remembering seeing one another at camp throughout the years. And how we never really talked but always knew of each other. So many life changing summers we spent at the same camp, with similar friends, but it was years later that our patches actually crosses.... and now we can go back to this special place, together this time.
This year was particularly special as we brought Gage for the first time. He slept all 2 hours over- PTL!
I wish I could say I got to enjoy the service completely, but Gage woke up ready to play- not be quiet and sit contently :) But I did get to enjoy some worship music before we had to make our exit!
Marvelous Light is a song I've sang many of times but these words struck a chord in my heart last night.
Sin has lost its power.
Death has lost its sting.
I sat there thinking of the victory we have as children of God- all because Jesus died and rose again for us. Victory that I don't always cling to.
We have victory over SIN. It no longer has to entangle us and bind us down. We have the choice to allow Jesus to set us free and it loses it's power over us. We can experience freedom in our lives and start living a life more abundant.
I felt guilt as I began to sing and think on those lyrics. Sure from the outside looking in you might not notice any "horrible sins" that are present in my life- but the little, private ones have slowly snuck in.
My attitude? My tongue?
My neglect of Gods word in my life?
God wants to give me victory over sin, even in the tiny areas of my life. And He does that when I begin to submerge myself in His word and seek His presence.
I have let my tongue reign free lately- in my closest relationships. I haven't experienced victory over that, and it constantly proves the power that I'm allowing it to have in my life as I can easily snap at my husband or get frustrated with others. And that's just one example of the many I battle.
I think those lyrics moved me to see what I could be experiencing in Christ and what I'm limiting myself to.
I can let life get me so caught up in everyday things that I forget. I forget what a more joyfilled, abundant lfe i coukd be living. I can claim the victory over these sins that entangle me- ones that I haven't even realized until now!
Ryan and I talked on the way home about what we want spiritually for our family. We are ready for renewal and refreshment and to allow God to exhibit His power in our lives!
What sin, even small ones, have power in your life? Jesus is ready to give you the victory!
I am ready to live a victorious life!
Death has lost its sting.
From the grave you've risen, victoriously!
We sang those words last night at Camp Siloam. Ryan and I drove 2 hours last night to attend the evening service at a place that is very special to the both of us. Ryan went every summer since he was 6 or 7 and I went all of my Jr High and high school years. There is no place like it- a place where the spirit of the Lord dwells and you can guarantee to be changed! All while having a BLAST.
On the way over we chatted about remembering seeing one another at camp throughout the years. And how we never really talked but always knew of each other. So many life changing summers we spent at the same camp, with similar friends, but it was years later that our patches actually crosses.... and now we can go back to this special place, together this time.
This year was particularly special as we brought Gage for the first time. He slept all 2 hours over- PTL!
I wish I could say I got to enjoy the service completely, but Gage woke up ready to play- not be quiet and sit contently :) But I did get to enjoy some worship music before we had to make our exit!
Marvelous Light is a song I've sang many of times but these words struck a chord in my heart last night.
Sin has lost its power.
Death has lost its sting.
I sat there thinking of the victory we have as children of God- all because Jesus died and rose again for us. Victory that I don't always cling to.
We have victory over SIN. It no longer has to entangle us and bind us down. We have the choice to allow Jesus to set us free and it loses it's power over us. We can experience freedom in our lives and start living a life more abundant.
I felt guilt as I began to sing and think on those lyrics. Sure from the outside looking in you might not notice any "horrible sins" that are present in my life- but the little, private ones have slowly snuck in.
My attitude? My tongue?
My neglect of Gods word in my life?
God wants to give me victory over sin, even in the tiny areas of my life. And He does that when I begin to submerge myself in His word and seek His presence.
I have let my tongue reign free lately- in my closest relationships. I haven't experienced victory over that, and it constantly proves the power that I'm allowing it to have in my life as I can easily snap at my husband or get frustrated with others. And that's just one example of the many I battle.
I think those lyrics moved me to see what I could be experiencing in Christ and what I'm limiting myself to.
I can let life get me so caught up in everyday things that I forget. I forget what a more joyfilled, abundant lfe i coukd be living. I can claim the victory over these sins that entangle me- ones that I haven't even realized until now!
Ryan and I talked on the way home about what we want spiritually for our family. We are ready for renewal and refreshment and to allow God to exhibit His power in our lives!
What sin, even small ones, have power in your life? Jesus is ready to give you the victory!
I am ready to live a victorious life!
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
10 Months
My baby,
You are now a big boy. The little baby stage is over as you are now crawling like crazy, pulling up on everything, and standing alone for seconds at a time. It catches me off guard sometimes and tears just well up. I can't believe how big, smart, funny, and mobile you are. You are the joy of our lives, son.
You love to wave and say "hiiiii" and "byyyeee". You say "mama", "dada", you try to say Jack but it comes out "cckkkk". You make so many noises but your favorite is "brrrrmmmm". Anytime you see a truck, boat, wheeler, or toy that has wheels you make that noise.
We can ask you things like where is Jack, where are the deer (Grump's mounted deer), where is Daddy, etc. and you know where to look. When I hear Daddy pull up I'll say "Daddy's here!!!" and you stop what you are doing and stare at the door until he walks in!
You are eating lots of table food and not liking purees near as much. Last night you had cous cous, mixed veggies, and sweet potatoes. You ate til you were stuffed! Other favorites are whole grain mac and cheese, mashed potatoes, bananas, and you LOVE the little cheese puff baby snacks. I think you would eat a whole can at once if I'd let you.
We spent a lot of time at the lake this past month- the camper was there for 3 weeks and we went and stayed as much as we could. I cannot believe what a lake baby you are! You love sitting on the rocks and splashing in the water and letting the waves hit you, playing in the rocks (and trying to eat them aka: give mom a heart attack), taking walks all over the campground in your stroller, and sitting out in your highchair and enjoying the outdoors. You were the perfect camper, and you loved taking your naps in your play pen under the cool AC of the camper. You should see the tan you have! You are such a little brownie!
You also love to swim in your kiddie pool since it's been so hot out! You just splash and splash. I fed you ice from a sonic drink the other day while you swam and you didnt' want me to stop! You would have swam and ate ice for hours :)
Since you have been so mobile you have got your first few bruises. Your first, you crawled over to the table and was shaking a chair leg and your hand slipped= big bruise on your cheek. Daddy was watching you and he felt so horrible. Yesterday, you pulled up on the door and fell forwards down in and scraped your forehead. I was watching you and felt just as bad! It's hard to see you get little knocks and bangs, but you are learning and they haven't kept you down long! Unless we start oooing and aahing over it and then you really play it up and cry... you love the attention and to be felt sorry for LOL.
You love riding the Big Red at Grumps and Gram's house. You love for Poppy to show you his big trucks and how to honk the horn. You are getting really attached to your grandparents and I love seeing that bond form. They are spoiling you already!
You had your 10 month doctor's appointment and you weighed in at 20 lbs even and 27.5 inches! Growing like a weed and getting chubby! We laugh that you have a booty like Daddy & a belly like Mama! :)
Our days together as so fun, you are learning so much all the time. You crawl EVERYWHERE and from room to room now. I have to watch because you love picking things up off the carpet and trying to eat them. You also love going in your walker! You are like a mad man in it, running everywhere. You have reverse down and can steer like a pro :) You love to get mama's red spoon and play with it- if anyone tries to take it from you it's not a pretty sight!
Gram has taught you how to point your little pointer finger and shake it when we say "no no no". You love to scold Jack! The other day I was trying to give you a kiss while you were in your car seat and as I leaned in you shook that little finger at me! So funny! Besides scolding things, you use it to point and touch everything.
We love you, Stinker! You make everyday special and fun, and you are the light of our lives!
Mama & Daddy
You are now a big boy. The little baby stage is over as you are now crawling like crazy, pulling up on everything, and standing alone for seconds at a time. It catches me off guard sometimes and tears just well up. I can't believe how big, smart, funny, and mobile you are. You are the joy of our lives, son.
You love to wave and say "hiiiii" and "byyyeee". You say "mama", "dada", you try to say Jack but it comes out "cckkkk". You make so many noises but your favorite is "brrrrmmmm". Anytime you see a truck, boat, wheeler, or toy that has wheels you make that noise.
We can ask you things like where is Jack, where are the deer (Grump's mounted deer), where is Daddy, etc. and you know where to look. When I hear Daddy pull up I'll say "Daddy's here!!!" and you stop what you are doing and stare at the door until he walks in!
You are eating lots of table food and not liking purees near as much. Last night you had cous cous, mixed veggies, and sweet potatoes. You ate til you were stuffed! Other favorites are whole grain mac and cheese, mashed potatoes, bananas, and you LOVE the little cheese puff baby snacks. I think you would eat a whole can at once if I'd let you.
We spent a lot of time at the lake this past month- the camper was there for 3 weeks and we went and stayed as much as we could. I cannot believe what a lake baby you are! You love sitting on the rocks and splashing in the water and letting the waves hit you, playing in the rocks (and trying to eat them aka: give mom a heart attack), taking walks all over the campground in your stroller, and sitting out in your highchair and enjoying the outdoors. You were the perfect camper, and you loved taking your naps in your play pen under the cool AC of the camper. You should see the tan you have! You are such a little brownie!
You also love to swim in your kiddie pool since it's been so hot out! You just splash and splash. I fed you ice from a sonic drink the other day while you swam and you didnt' want me to stop! You would have swam and ate ice for hours :)
Since you have been so mobile you have got your first few bruises. Your first, you crawled over to the table and was shaking a chair leg and your hand slipped= big bruise on your cheek. Daddy was watching you and he felt so horrible. Yesterday, you pulled up on the door and fell forwards down in and scraped your forehead. I was watching you and felt just as bad! It's hard to see you get little knocks and bangs, but you are learning and they haven't kept you down long! Unless we start oooing and aahing over it and then you really play it up and cry... you love the attention and to be felt sorry for LOL.
You love riding the Big Red at Grumps and Gram's house. You love for Poppy to show you his big trucks and how to honk the horn. You are getting really attached to your grandparents and I love seeing that bond form. They are spoiling you already!
You had your 10 month doctor's appointment and you weighed in at 20 lbs even and 27.5 inches! Growing like a weed and getting chubby! We laugh that you have a booty like Daddy & a belly like Mama! :)
Our days together as so fun, you are learning so much all the time. You crawl EVERYWHERE and from room to room now. I have to watch because you love picking things up off the carpet and trying to eat them. You also love going in your walker! You are like a mad man in it, running everywhere. You have reverse down and can steer like a pro :) You love to get mama's red spoon and play with it- if anyone tries to take it from you it's not a pretty sight!
Gram has taught you how to point your little pointer finger and shake it when we say "no no no". You love to scold Jack! The other day I was trying to give you a kiss while you were in your car seat and as I leaned in you shook that little finger at me! So funny! Besides scolding things, you use it to point and touch everything.
We love you, Stinker! You make everyday special and fun, and you are the light of our lives!
Mama & Daddy
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
In the Quiet
I just took a long hot shower, of which are hard to come by these days. Ryan went to bed with Gage and let me stay up to pamper myself. Blogging, which is also hard to come by, felt right so here I am.
I feel like I have been quiet lately.
Like I don't have words to offer. On my blog, to others, to God.
But I'm learning that in the quiet I can grow.
I can sit back and see God at work in my life.
My words aren't extravagant, but simple.
Thank you, Lord.
I am proud of you, Ryan.
Mama loves you, Gage.
Simple but enough.
In the quiet I can be still and know that He is God.
And maybe someday soon He'll fill my mouth with words that can impact others, shine a light, or really touch someone's heart.
For now, I feel like I'm in a season of growth. I want to thank God and see Him in the little things. I want to be quiet and bask in His presence and love.
Goodnight, friends.
I feel like I have been quiet lately.
Like I don't have words to offer. On my blog, to others, to God.
But I'm learning that in the quiet I can grow.
I can sit back and see God at work in my life.
My words aren't extravagant, but simple.
Thank you, Lord.
I am proud of you, Ryan.
Mama loves you, Gage.
Simple but enough.
In the quiet I can be still and know that He is God.
And maybe someday soon He'll fill my mouth with words that can impact others, shine a light, or really touch someone's heart.
For now, I feel like I'm in a season of growth. I want to thank God and see Him in the little things. I want to be quiet and bask in His presence and love.
Goodnight, friends.
Sunday, June 30, 2013
Lake Adventures
It's Sunday afternoon and I'm laying in the camper with Gage as he naps while listening to the old AC buzz. Life has been so simple here.
I needed this getaway! We brought the camper over last weekend and are leaving it through the 7th of July. We have all come and gone as we like, but most of Ryan's family has spent the weekends here.
I was worried how Gage would do at the lake, but he has loved it from day one!
He won't let us put him in his little floater anymore but he loves to sit on the edge of the water and let the waves come splash him as he digs for rocks and splashes his little hands in the water! He just squeals with delight! It almost always wears him out and so we will come back to camp, dry off, and I'll rock him to sleep. He has slept right under the AC and it's humming sound and cool air makes for some great (long) naps!
When we aren't swimming or napping, he has loved to take walks all around the campground. He loves going to the water and seeing boats where he'll go "brrrmmm brrmmmm" with his little lips (aka: his favorite noise to make)!!
The playground isn't too far from our camp and he has played on it and made a lot of new little friends. You should have seen it! They all surrounded him and kissed his little legs and then would jump around and make him laugh! We even let the 5 year old take him down the slide :)
Ryan and I have got to have some adventures on the boat and jet ski while Shirley has kept an eye on Gage while he napped! I still like hanging out with that guy, believe it or not :) One thing I love about Ryan is that he "knows how I do everything", or so I tell him! He takes care of us so well and I love that about him!
We have had friends and family out to grill, we have made s'mores, ran into town for some speciality pizza, lounged in lawn chairs, sun bathed, and drank way too much pop (Gage included!)... but it has been a great time and we have made great memories! I love doing life with these people I call mine.
I needed this getaway! We brought the camper over last weekend and are leaving it through the 7th of July. We have all come and gone as we like, but most of Ryan's family has spent the weekends here.
I was worried how Gage would do at the lake, but he has loved it from day one!
He won't let us put him in his little floater anymore but he loves to sit on the edge of the water and let the waves come splash him as he digs for rocks and splashes his little hands in the water! He just squeals with delight! It almost always wears him out and so we will come back to camp, dry off, and I'll rock him to sleep. He has slept right under the AC and it's humming sound and cool air makes for some great (long) naps!
When we aren't swimming or napping, he has loved to take walks all around the campground. He loves going to the water and seeing boats where he'll go "brrrmmm brrmmmm" with his little lips (aka: his favorite noise to make)!!
The playground isn't too far from our camp and he has played on it and made a lot of new little friends. You should have seen it! They all surrounded him and kissed his little legs and then would jump around and make him laugh! We even let the 5 year old take him down the slide :)
Ryan and I have got to have some adventures on the boat and jet ski while Shirley has kept an eye on Gage while he napped! I still like hanging out with that guy, believe it or not :) One thing I love about Ryan is that he "knows how I do everything", or so I tell him! He takes care of us so well and I love that about him!
We have had friends and family out to grill, we have made s'mores, ran into town for some speciality pizza, lounged in lawn chairs, sun bathed, and drank way too much pop (Gage included!)... but it has been a great time and we have made great memories! I love doing life with these people I call mine.
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Balance
It's took me awhile to be able to admit this- even realize this- about myself.
When I first got married I was at the peak of my relationship with God and with my friends. I woke up and before my eyes even opened I was talking to God. Time with Him was my priority. I also was surrounded by some amazing friends who I loved to laugh and be myself with.
I had spent years praying for my future husband. That I would protect my heart and my body and save it all for him- and as I waited, I prayed that he would as well. That prayer started at age 14 and continued until the day I married Ryan at age 20. Of course, my relationship with the Lord consisted of more than that, but that was a prayer that often poured out and as I waited on my future husband I let Jesus fill that void and love me in a way that no one else ever could.
After getting married, about a month in the fights began. How dare Ryan! He wasn't fulfilling my every need! I needed him to make me feel beautiful, worthy of love, sought after. I needed him to applaud every good thing about me and make me feel cherished. If a morning went by and he was running late for work and left without giving me a kiss or saying something sweet or romantic I was furious! I know this sounds ridiculous- but you see, for so long I had prayed for this man- and now here he was and instead of still looking towards God for my confidence and self worth and love... I was depending upon my new groom who was just human. He could never fulfill my every need and every insecurity. Only my heavenly Father could.
Besides having that hang up- I also became consumed in being a wife. I let some friendships fade as I was horrible at returning calls, texts, or taking up offers to have a girls night. I was trying to figure out my new role as a wife and it consumed me.
It took me awhile to ease into my role as a wife and realize that I was still me and that Ryan wasn't perfect--- and that I was the furthest thing from it.
Enter motherhood.
I was consumed x12.
I still take forever to reply to texts and have some strange paranoia about talking on the phone! I spent the first few months doing NOTHING but focusing on being a mom. Just now have I got in the groove of keeping the house clean and having supper on the table when Ryan gets home. I have let other precious friendships fade because I don't know how to juggle it all. Ryan gets frustrated as he wants help paying the bills, etc. and I am still figuring out how to balance it all.
This sounds bad I know- I just feel guilty while Gage is awake if I'm not 100% focused on him... But I'm learning to balance it all and it feels good.
The point of this post is that I have learned that I let new phases of life- transitions if you will- consume me and take over me. So much that at times I forgot who I am and what I like and what makes ME tick.
Yes I am a wife.
Yes I am a mother.
But I am still Kaysi.
I still need daily time with God to allow Him to fill me and use me.
I need girl talk.
I need a good run.
I need to paint my nails, listen to music that I like, to read a good book.
I need to take a long hot shower and get dolled up.
I need to be me....and not let these beautiful amazing roles that God has called me to distract me from Him or who I am in Him, but to cause me to draw nearer to Him and allow Him to show me how to be a godly wife, mother, friend-- all while balancing it in a healthy way.
What about you? Maybe it's not being a wife or mom- maybe its your career or other responsibilities. Do you ever let them consume you and you begin to lose yourself in them? How do you balance it all?! I'd love to hear from you!
When I first got married I was at the peak of my relationship with God and with my friends. I woke up and before my eyes even opened I was talking to God. Time with Him was my priority. I also was surrounded by some amazing friends who I loved to laugh and be myself with.
I had spent years praying for my future husband. That I would protect my heart and my body and save it all for him- and as I waited, I prayed that he would as well. That prayer started at age 14 and continued until the day I married Ryan at age 20. Of course, my relationship with the Lord consisted of more than that, but that was a prayer that often poured out and as I waited on my future husband I let Jesus fill that void and love me in a way that no one else ever could.
After getting married, about a month in the fights began. How dare Ryan! He wasn't fulfilling my every need! I needed him to make me feel beautiful, worthy of love, sought after. I needed him to applaud every good thing about me and make me feel cherished. If a morning went by and he was running late for work and left without giving me a kiss or saying something sweet or romantic I was furious! I know this sounds ridiculous- but you see, for so long I had prayed for this man- and now here he was and instead of still looking towards God for my confidence and self worth and love... I was depending upon my new groom who was just human. He could never fulfill my every need and every insecurity. Only my heavenly Father could.
Besides having that hang up- I also became consumed in being a wife. I let some friendships fade as I was horrible at returning calls, texts, or taking up offers to have a girls night. I was trying to figure out my new role as a wife and it consumed me.
It took me awhile to ease into my role as a wife and realize that I was still me and that Ryan wasn't perfect--- and that I was the furthest thing from it.
Enter motherhood.
I was consumed x12.
I still take forever to reply to texts and have some strange paranoia about talking on the phone! I spent the first few months doing NOTHING but focusing on being a mom. Just now have I got in the groove of keeping the house clean and having supper on the table when Ryan gets home. I have let other precious friendships fade because I don't know how to juggle it all. Ryan gets frustrated as he wants help paying the bills, etc. and I am still figuring out how to balance it all.
This sounds bad I know- I just feel guilty while Gage is awake if I'm not 100% focused on him... But I'm learning to balance it all and it feels good.
The point of this post is that I have learned that I let new phases of life- transitions if you will- consume me and take over me. So much that at times I forgot who I am and what I like and what makes ME tick.
Yes I am a wife.
Yes I am a mother.
But I am still Kaysi.
I still need daily time with God to allow Him to fill me and use me.
I need girl talk.
I need a good run.
I need to paint my nails, listen to music that I like, to read a good book.
I need to take a long hot shower and get dolled up.
I need to be me....and not let these beautiful amazing roles that God has called me to distract me from Him or who I am in Him, but to cause me to draw nearer to Him and allow Him to show me how to be a godly wife, mother, friend-- all while balancing it in a healthy way.
What about you? Maybe it's not being a wife or mom- maybe its your career or other responsibilities. Do you ever let them consume you and you begin to lose yourself in them? How do you balance it all?! I'd love to hear from you!
Thursday, June 20, 2013
9 Months
Dear Gage Man,
I am behind on writing this month's letter. Probably because it has been your busiest month! You my child are the move!
You now love to run like crazy in your walker. If you are on hardwood or tile you can go ninety to nothin'! It's so fun to watch you be so mobile. You like to chase Grumps in his wheelchair and you are an extra at turning and going in reverse to get where you want to go. You like to try to get into cabinets if your little arms can reach that far.
I tease you saying that you must have know the day that you turned 9 months because all in one day you started saying "dada" AND waving your hand at everyone and saying "hiiiiiii". It was so funny, I had to go into town to buy a wedding gift and you started waving around the whole store and saying "hiiiiiiii". It's so cute how you say it, it comes from way down deep and comes out so loud! I can't explain it but it cracks me up :)
You like to go swimming outside in your pool now. You know what "splash" means and you love to do it! You love outdoors and can make the "brrrrmmmmmm" sounds when you see your wagon, Grump's Big Red ATV, our fourwheeler, or lawn mower. Your Poppy Keith and Papa Kenny have introduced you to taking rides on the fourwheeler and you LOVE it. You reach back for it and cry (sometimes) when they take you off. I know this is the start of many rides!
We have had some great family adventures this month!!! We went to Dogwood Canyon Ranch and rode bicycles. We pulled you along in a little cart behind us and you were so content! We rode 8 miles, I believe and you loved to take in all the sites! We saw waterfalls, fish, and all sorts of beautiful scenery. Once we looked back and you had grabbed a leaf off a tree or bush as we had drove by! You were chewing on it & I freaked out!!! You are into everything, son!
We also went to Turpentine Creek zoo and saw all the lions, tigers, and bears. You loved the big brown bear. We took the walking tour, you in the stroller, and I didn't pack sunscreen because of the canopy on the stroller, but it was right at noon and your legs weren't shaded. I was so worried you were going to get burnt, as it was a very sunny and hot day, but NOPE you just tanned. You are our little brownie for sure! You have tanlines on your fat rolls on your wrists and ankles- it's so cute :) You get compliments on your tan all the time!
After the zoo we got ice cream. I bet so far this summer you've had at least a gallon of vanilla ice cream! You take after me. And crazy enough, you HATE watermelon!! Your daddy can eat a whole one all by himself he loves them so much, but you make a horrible face and gag! You are continuing to eat more table food and love to try new things.
You are pulling up still, and with that comes a few bumps on the noggin. No major ones, because we're always right there with you, but I dread this part of you learning to walk. I'm a scaredy cat and hate to see you fall!
Your personality bloomed this month! You used to be pretty laid back, but now you are more giggly and you smile all the time! That smile with your two bottom teeth just melts my heart. We love the little man you are becoming. You love exploring and seeing new things. You get so excited when Daddy comes home from work. You definitely are very attached to your mama! When anyone else holds you, you fuss and lean towards me. Sometimes I just want you to be nice to your aunt, cousin, etc. that's holding you but I know this is just a phase and I love that you want me. I'm your safe.... and I love that!
I celebrated my first Mother's day with you on my hip. You made me a mama & you will always be my baby. It wasn't a day about me, but about YOU. Without you I couldn't celebrate and without you life would be meaningless. You have changed our hearts completely. I feel like for the first time I'm learning what it means to be selfless-- I feel like I was so selfish before. You have changed me in so many ways by making me a Mama. I love you more than words can say.
Three more months until your first birthday. Get the tissues now.
We love you Bubba!!!!!
I am behind on writing this month's letter. Probably because it has been your busiest month! You my child are the move!
You now love to run like crazy in your walker. If you are on hardwood or tile you can go ninety to nothin'! It's so fun to watch you be so mobile. You like to chase Grumps in his wheelchair and you are an extra at turning and going in reverse to get where you want to go. You like to try to get into cabinets if your little arms can reach that far.
I tease you saying that you must have know the day that you turned 9 months because all in one day you started saying "dada" AND waving your hand at everyone and saying "hiiiiiii". It was so funny, I had to go into town to buy a wedding gift and you started waving around the whole store and saying "hiiiiiiii". It's so cute how you say it, it comes from way down deep and comes out so loud! I can't explain it but it cracks me up :)
You like to go swimming outside in your pool now. You know what "splash" means and you love to do it! You love outdoors and can make the "brrrrmmmmmm" sounds when you see your wagon, Grump's Big Red ATV, our fourwheeler, or lawn mower. Your Poppy Keith and Papa Kenny have introduced you to taking rides on the fourwheeler and you LOVE it. You reach back for it and cry (sometimes) when they take you off. I know this is the start of many rides!
We have had some great family adventures this month!!! We went to Dogwood Canyon Ranch and rode bicycles. We pulled you along in a little cart behind us and you were so content! We rode 8 miles, I believe and you loved to take in all the sites! We saw waterfalls, fish, and all sorts of beautiful scenery. Once we looked back and you had grabbed a leaf off a tree or bush as we had drove by! You were chewing on it & I freaked out!!! You are into everything, son!
We also went to Turpentine Creek zoo and saw all the lions, tigers, and bears. You loved the big brown bear. We took the walking tour, you in the stroller, and I didn't pack sunscreen because of the canopy on the stroller, but it was right at noon and your legs weren't shaded. I was so worried you were going to get burnt, as it was a very sunny and hot day, but NOPE you just tanned. You are our little brownie for sure! You have tanlines on your fat rolls on your wrists and ankles- it's so cute :) You get compliments on your tan all the time!
After the zoo we got ice cream. I bet so far this summer you've had at least a gallon of vanilla ice cream! You take after me. And crazy enough, you HATE watermelon!! Your daddy can eat a whole one all by himself he loves them so much, but you make a horrible face and gag! You are continuing to eat more table food and love to try new things.
You are pulling up still, and with that comes a few bumps on the noggin. No major ones, because we're always right there with you, but I dread this part of you learning to walk. I'm a scaredy cat and hate to see you fall!
Your personality bloomed this month! You used to be pretty laid back, but now you are more giggly and you smile all the time! That smile with your two bottom teeth just melts my heart. We love the little man you are becoming. You love exploring and seeing new things. You get so excited when Daddy comes home from work. You definitely are very attached to your mama! When anyone else holds you, you fuss and lean towards me. Sometimes I just want you to be nice to your aunt, cousin, etc. that's holding you but I know this is just a phase and I love that you want me. I'm your safe.... and I love that!
I celebrated my first Mother's day with you on my hip. You made me a mama & you will always be my baby. It wasn't a day about me, but about YOU. Without you I couldn't celebrate and without you life would be meaningless. You have changed our hearts completely. I feel like for the first time I'm learning what it means to be selfless-- I feel like I was so selfish before. You have changed me in so many ways by making me a Mama. I love you more than words can say.
Three more months until your first birthday. Get the tissues now.
We love you Bubba!!!!!
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Help! (vaca ideas needed)
I cannot believe it's June already.
I just want this summer to pass slowly and allow me to soak up every moment.
Even the hard ones. Gage didn't nap at all yesterday & was up til almost 11. What a wild child! He was so exhausted and cranky... and this morning I rocked him for an hour before he'd finally stay down in his crib- just for him to wake up 20 minutes later. Whew. I'm a little exhausted to say the least, but I think he was too because he's down for his second nap of the day and I'm hoping it's much longer!
Anyway, the point of this post is that I have a question for ya'll!
We have free plane tickets with Southwest Airlines to use and we have been brainstorming on where we'd like to go for a 3-4 day mini vaca. This year we'd like to do something a little more adventurous that includes awesome scenery, lots of hiking, and well... adventure! We've went to the beach the past few summers and we'd like to venture out a little. Any suggestions, friends?
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Oceans by Hillsong
You call me out upon the waters, the great unknown, where feet may fail.
And there I find you in the mystery. In oceans deep my faith will stand.
And I will call upon your name.
And keep my eyes above the waves.
When oceans rise my soul will rest in your embrace,
For I am yours
and you are mine.
Your grace abounds in deepest waters.
God calls us to step out where it's scary. He appoints us to roles we never thought we could fill.
Some days I feel overwhelmed. Inadequate. In over my head.
And that's where I find him, in the oceans deep.
"Your grace abounds in deepest waters"
I just keep repeating that line in my head, letting the truth of it soak in.
Spirit lead me when my trust is without borders.
Let me walk upon the waters wherever you would call me.
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander.
And my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior.
I just found this song tonight and it's been on repeat ever since. I love how God can speak to me through music and these lyrics are so powerful.
Friday, May 24, 2013
Be Intentional
(I ran across this picture today and for some reason it took me back to just how TINY our Bubba Gage was. Honestly, sometimes I feel like those first few months were such a blur. I'm so thankful for these photos that help me go back and remember my teeny tiny baby. I just love him so much.
On that note, doesn't time go by so fast?
Summer is here & for that I'm thankful.
After Gage was asleep last night Ryan & I were able to talk about our "dreams". I'm such a dreamer. Ryan, not so much. But last night he actually went with it and we had a great conversation about things that we would like for our home this summer. (spiff up the area in the yard where our fire pit is, assemble the new grill, get a volleyball net, deep clean the garage...)
I have been reading a book and the chapter I just finished was about needing people and how we too often go at life alone. Why do we choose to do that? I have become so much more of a homebody over the past few years, and sometimes I just find myself wanting to stay comfortable in these walls. BUT the book says that we need to step up and do it ourselves- INVITE people. START a core group. INITIATE.
With that said, and after sharing it with Ryan, we decided we'd like to do a few things around the house to make it party central. Ha! Just kidding, but we would like to make it inviting and family friendly for our young couple friends and their kiddos to come over.
That thought about just doing the inviting ourselves and purposely making new friendships went hand in hand with the thought that has been going through my mind over the past month.
BE INTENTIONAL.
About friendships.
About my relationship with the Lord.
About spending quality time with my husband.
About what I put in my mouth.
About exercising and having a body that feels strong, healthy, and confident.
I haven't been intentional at all especially in the past year.
I wake up hearing those words in my head.
BE INTENTIONAL.
Ok, God. I get what your saying, so please show me how to step up, be brave, and do these things that you are calling me to. I want to be an intentional person, not someone that just floats through life. Show me the areas I need to be purposeful in.
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
8 Months
Gage Man,
So many things have happened this month! It was such a fun month. For one, spring is finally here and you were born to be outside. You love walks to the creek with the puppies, swinging in your swing that Daddy hung in a tree in our front yard, swinging on the porch swing, picnics in the yard, watching the puppies play, and riding in your wagon at Grump's and Gram's house.
On April 1st you said "Mama" for the first time! It came out so plain and clear and it just melted my heart! And since then you say it all the time! You mostly say it when you want me to come pick you up. "mamamamamama" is my favorite sound :)
This month you took your first trip to Silver Dollar City! You did great! You loved all the sites and sounds and you ate your first DipNDots. Speaking of ice cream, whenever we are out and about we usually find a place to stop or drive thru where you can have a treat of ice cream! I think you like McDonald's the best, just like your mom & dad!
You still aren't crawling but you can scoot everywhere- backwards! You will get up into crawl position all the time but you haven't' figured out how to get those knees moving.
One morning towards the end of the month you woke up and was playing in bed with Mama & Daddy and we were both laying on our sides with you in the middle. You reached over to your dad, grabbed ahold of his side, and UP you came! Your first time to pull up! Since then you haven't done it near as good completely on your, but you are definitely trying to. With just the tiniest help you can pull up on most anything.
You are eating lots of things now! You love for me or Gram to make you mashed potatoes and we've been adding chicken too. Your new favorite I made was the potatoes, chicken, steamed broccoli, topped with a little melted cheddar cheese. It was a hit! You gobbled it up! You love finger foods, and I'm trying to get more adventurous with those for you. You love to feed yourself! (last night you fed yourself cottage cheese and it was soo cute and funny!)
You got two teeth!!!! Your two bottom teeth came in within days of each other. You handled teething really well and wasn't overly cranky or fussy. When you did get upset, teething tablets seemed to do the trick. One night around 9:30 you couldn't go to sleep because your teeth were bothering you and so we gave you some teething tablets. Literally 10 minutes later you were bouncing all over the bed, standing up holding onto us and jumping, and laughing so hard. It was so funny! But you got so hyper that I ended up googling to see if teething tablets can do that to babies & a few other moms wrote in saying it made their babies extremely hyper. Let's just say it was a late night, but we got it on video and that'll be a night to remember!
You have been such a great napper lately. Most morning you sleep in until 8 or 8:30 and then you take a morning nap, usually 2 hours after waking, and an early afternoon nap (somewhere around 2 or 3). Most days when we are home and in our routine you nap anywhere from 1-2 hours! You nap in your crib, and you like to have 2 pillows on each side of you almost cradling you. I think it makes you feel cozy and like you are cuddled up to Mama.
Speaking of that, we love cosleeping! You are the biggest (littlest) cuddle bug!!!! You love to be snuggled right up against me and if I ever move you reach for me in your sleep and pull yourself right back to me. It's so sweet. Daddy sleeps on the other side of me and puts his arm over me and around you too. I love our little family, and you do too!
You are a joy. You love going out to eat a restaurants. You sit up like such a big boy in your high chair and usually you are in such a good mood when we're out and about! You love to take sips from out straws of Sprite, Water, and sometimes if I'm feeling crazy tea or Coke. New tastes excite you!
You are now wearing 6-9 months clothes, but the 9 months are starting to fit better now. I can tell you have grown so much this past month! You are wearing size 2 in shoes, but you don't like shoes and always try to rub your feet together and make them fall off :)
Your hair is finally getting longer and we think we're going to have a little cottontop like your Daddy was! I can't believe I had a kid that is going to have blonde hair and blue eyes, with mine being so dark!
You love seeing other babies and kids. You could watch them forever and then crack you up. You can spot them anywhere.
Some of your favorite things are:
Jumping in your jumper
Standing at your little activity table
Watching Big Bird, Elmo, Bubble Guppies, & Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, although FINDING NEMO continues to be your favorite!
Taking walks
Watching puppies
Bathtime
Nursing (now every 3-4 hours since you are eating more solids)
Visiting grandparents
You bless us more and more each month. Daddy said "Gage has taught me a whole new love. I'd do anything to protect him" I'm the same way, Bubba. Our lives now revolve around making you safe and happy and we have never been more content. You are perfect. We love you more than you know.
Love,
Mama
So many things have happened this month! It was such a fun month. For one, spring is finally here and you were born to be outside. You love walks to the creek with the puppies, swinging in your swing that Daddy hung in a tree in our front yard, swinging on the porch swing, picnics in the yard, watching the puppies play, and riding in your wagon at Grump's and Gram's house.
On April 1st you said "Mama" for the first time! It came out so plain and clear and it just melted my heart! And since then you say it all the time! You mostly say it when you want me to come pick you up. "mamamamamama" is my favorite sound :)
This month you took your first trip to Silver Dollar City! You did great! You loved all the sites and sounds and you ate your first DipNDots. Speaking of ice cream, whenever we are out and about we usually find a place to stop or drive thru where you can have a treat of ice cream! I think you like McDonald's the best, just like your mom & dad!
You still aren't crawling but you can scoot everywhere- backwards! You will get up into crawl position all the time but you haven't' figured out how to get those knees moving.
One morning towards the end of the month you woke up and was playing in bed with Mama & Daddy and we were both laying on our sides with you in the middle. You reached over to your dad, grabbed ahold of his side, and UP you came! Your first time to pull up! Since then you haven't done it near as good completely on your, but you are definitely trying to. With just the tiniest help you can pull up on most anything.
You are eating lots of things now! You love for me or Gram to make you mashed potatoes and we've been adding chicken too. Your new favorite I made was the potatoes, chicken, steamed broccoli, topped with a little melted cheddar cheese. It was a hit! You gobbled it up! You love finger foods, and I'm trying to get more adventurous with those for you. You love to feed yourself! (last night you fed yourself cottage cheese and it was soo cute and funny!)
You got two teeth!!!! Your two bottom teeth came in within days of each other. You handled teething really well and wasn't overly cranky or fussy. When you did get upset, teething tablets seemed to do the trick. One night around 9:30 you couldn't go to sleep because your teeth were bothering you and so we gave you some teething tablets. Literally 10 minutes later you were bouncing all over the bed, standing up holding onto us and jumping, and laughing so hard. It was so funny! But you got so hyper that I ended up googling to see if teething tablets can do that to babies & a few other moms wrote in saying it made their babies extremely hyper. Let's just say it was a late night, but we got it on video and that'll be a night to remember!
You have been such a great napper lately. Most morning you sleep in until 8 or 8:30 and then you take a morning nap, usually 2 hours after waking, and an early afternoon nap (somewhere around 2 or 3). Most days when we are home and in our routine you nap anywhere from 1-2 hours! You nap in your crib, and you like to have 2 pillows on each side of you almost cradling you. I think it makes you feel cozy and like you are cuddled up to Mama.
Speaking of that, we love cosleeping! You are the biggest (littlest) cuddle bug!!!! You love to be snuggled right up against me and if I ever move you reach for me in your sleep and pull yourself right back to me. It's so sweet. Daddy sleeps on the other side of me and puts his arm over me and around you too. I love our little family, and you do too!
You are a joy. You love going out to eat a restaurants. You sit up like such a big boy in your high chair and usually you are in such a good mood when we're out and about! You love to take sips from out straws of Sprite, Water, and sometimes if I'm feeling crazy tea or Coke. New tastes excite you!
You are now wearing 6-9 months clothes, but the 9 months are starting to fit better now. I can tell you have grown so much this past month! You are wearing size 2 in shoes, but you don't like shoes and always try to rub your feet together and make them fall off :)
Your hair is finally getting longer and we think we're going to have a little cottontop like your Daddy was! I can't believe I had a kid that is going to have blonde hair and blue eyes, with mine being so dark!
You love seeing other babies and kids. You could watch them forever and then crack you up. You can spot them anywhere.
Some of your favorite things are:
Jumping in your jumper
Standing at your little activity table
Watching Big Bird, Elmo, Bubble Guppies, & Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, although FINDING NEMO continues to be your favorite!
Taking walks
Watching puppies
Bathtime
Nursing (now every 3-4 hours since you are eating more solids)
Visiting grandparents
You bless us more and more each month. Daddy said "Gage has taught me a whole new love. I'd do anything to protect him" I'm the same way, Bubba. Our lives now revolve around making you safe and happy and we have never been more content. You are perfect. We love you more than you know.
Love,
Mama
Saturday, May 11, 2013
My First Mother's Day
Tomorrow is going to be my first Mother's Day as a mother!
Tonight as I rocked Gage I just thanked the Lord for allowing me to be a mother. I have no doubt that being a mother is one of the biggest blessings I'll ever receive here on this earth. I am humbled by the opportunity to be Gage's mother.
Today as I teared up over the simplest of things (happy tears, that is), I realized what had changed the most in me since becoming a mother.
I had a rough patch in my life. My dad fell and was paralyzed, while he was in Colorado for rehab my 3 year old baby cousin passed away, I was denied getting in nursing school, and then about a year later we witnessed a tragic accident involving a dear friend. I was left numb. For almost a year I couldn't hardly even pray. I felt God moving in my life, but when I went to pray I just sat there. I had to believe that God knew my heart... because as hard as a tried, there were very little words that came.
And then when sad things happened, I couldn't show any emotion. There were times I wanted to cry so so bad, but no tears would come. Numb is the only way that I can describe it.
So I began praying for God to give me a tender heart again, to break through the numbness I felt. I wanted to be able to let it out; to feel again... I was beginning to feel hard and harsh and like nothing got to me anymore. And especially as a lady, I didn't want to be that way.
"Break my heart for what breaks Yours, Lord" became my prayer.
And little did I know, on September 5th 2012 he gave me a tender heart again.
Since becoming a mom, little by little the numbness has faded. The hardened skin has shed from my heart and I can feel again. And I feel so much!
Most days I tear up over something, whether it's from feeling so much joy or for my heart feeling for others or as I'm worshipping. ((I'm like "who am I?!?!?!"))
Being a mom has awakened my heart to feel again. I am so thankful.
Gage has taught me to love in a way I hadn't before- selflessly and patiently.
Unconditionally.
With a tender heart.
That's what my first Mother's Day means to me....
besides having the cutest little boy in the world! Oh, and the BEST mom EVER who I look up to (and call for advice) every. single. day. I pray I'm just half the mom that she is! She is my best friend and role model.
Happy Mother's Day to all you mama's out there!
Tonight as I rocked Gage I just thanked the Lord for allowing me to be a mother. I have no doubt that being a mother is one of the biggest blessings I'll ever receive here on this earth. I am humbled by the opportunity to be Gage's mother.
Today as I teared up over the simplest of things (happy tears, that is), I realized what had changed the most in me since becoming a mother.
I had a rough patch in my life. My dad fell and was paralyzed, while he was in Colorado for rehab my 3 year old baby cousin passed away, I was denied getting in nursing school, and then about a year later we witnessed a tragic accident involving a dear friend. I was left numb. For almost a year I couldn't hardly even pray. I felt God moving in my life, but when I went to pray I just sat there. I had to believe that God knew my heart... because as hard as a tried, there were very little words that came.
And then when sad things happened, I couldn't show any emotion. There were times I wanted to cry so so bad, but no tears would come. Numb is the only way that I can describe it.
So I began praying for God to give me a tender heart again, to break through the numbness I felt. I wanted to be able to let it out; to feel again... I was beginning to feel hard and harsh and like nothing got to me anymore. And especially as a lady, I didn't want to be that way.
"Break my heart for what breaks Yours, Lord" became my prayer.
And little did I know, on September 5th 2012 he gave me a tender heart again.
Since becoming a mom, little by little the numbness has faded. The hardened skin has shed from my heart and I can feel again. And I feel so much!
Most days I tear up over something, whether it's from feeling so much joy or for my heart feeling for others or as I'm worshipping. ((I'm like "who am I?!?!?!"))
Being a mom has awakened my heart to feel again. I am so thankful.
Gage has taught me to love in a way I hadn't before- selflessly and patiently.
Unconditionally.
With a tender heart.
That's what my first Mother's Day means to me....
besides having the cutest little boy in the world! Oh, and the BEST mom EVER who I look up to (and call for advice) every. single. day. I pray I'm just half the mom that she is! She is my best friend and role model.
Happy Mother's Day to all you mama's out there!
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Enough.
It's dark in my house and I write to the glowing screen of my laptop.
Both my boys aren't feeling well and have battled fevers today. One from his shots and the other from working so stinking hard for our family that he is physically sick and worn down. Owning your business never promised to be easy.
And here I am, the one to take care of them both.
Sometimes I feel inadequate.
In so many areas.
Mom.
Wife.
Job.
Christian.
Friend.
Insecurities rise up in me and I begin to believe the lie.
"You're not good enough"
But wait. God put me here, in the care of my home and of boys for a reason.
He and I both know that within myself, it's true. I'm not good enough.
But in my weakness, He is strong.
"But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."
-2 Corinthians 12:9
-2 Corinthians 12:9
I like to make myself and others believe I have it together at times. But honestly, there are days where I feel so not enough. That I'm not this or that or that I don't have anything to say, anything to offer. That I feel like I need to be doing more: running more, crafting more, DIYing more, blogging more, working more, cooking more, playing with Gage more.
When all I really need to be doing is leaning into God more. Boasting gladly about my weaknesses! Unashamedly placing them before Him and allowing His power to rest on me!
There is grace.
He is waiting for me to accept it and let Him show me that IN HIM I AM ENOUGH.
I literally just started this book today--Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe.
I'm going to be reading it alongside a dear friend and fellow mama.
I found this line in the foreword and was blessed by it. (a sign that it'll be a good book I'm hoping?!)
"Maybe being the mama I wanted to be wasn't so much about being more but believing more..."
"Godly parenting is fueled by God's grace, not my efforts."
I can try all I want, in every aspect of my life, to be better or to be more. But that will never work. I can only find contentment in who I am and how I'm performing my God-given roles when I let him breathe life into me and work through me.
Only then will I feel adequate.
Not because of anything in myself, but because of everything in who He is.
Saturday, May 4, 2013
these simple moments
These are the days I'll look back on and miss, aren't they?
The ones that seem so simple now.
Waking up to Gage's little hand on my face.
"mamamamamama".
Searching for Jack under the covers, trying to grab his tail.
Pulling up on mama & daddy in bed and standing for the first time all on his own.
Breakfast. Gage and the highchair covered in babyfood.
"num num".
Clumisly feeding himself finger foods.
Spilling his sippy everywhere, trying to drink out of it upside down.
Fighting naptime.
Rock for 30 minutes. Baby is asleep.
Lay him in his crib. Baby is awake.
Repeat.
Give up.
Try again in an hour.
Give up.
Drive around town, get a Sonic drink, and sing to the radio just so baby will sleep in his carseat.
Lunch in town.
Mashed taters and green beans for Gage.
Squealing and screaming in the high chair.
Hearing Gage ooo & ahhh in delight when he sees his mama from across the restaurant=
Heart melted.
Mama, Daddy, & Baby afternoon cuddles in bed.
Giggles.
Tickles.
Gage sleeps and we get those few cherished moments alone.
Time for us.
To be young and in love and... baby is awake.
Playtime!
Bathtime splashes.
Drying off in front of the fireplace.
The smell of baby lotion.
Slobbery kisses and rubbing his eyes from exhaustion.
Bedtime stories, all three of us (and a weenie dog) piled in bed.
Daddy carrying Gage over to Mama in the rocking chair.
Gage makes his little noise of excitement as he knows it's time to nurse.
He looks up at me, I sing to him as he nurses.
We rock in the light of the nightlight.
I rub his sweet fuzzy head, and his chubby little cheek.
"Mama loves you, go to sleep little baby".
And now, I sit here with the lights off, candle lit, feet kicked up.
Just a normal day, nothing exciting, really....
But then I recall these moment.
Precious moments.
And realize they are what I'll look back on.
These simple, everyday moments.
One day I'll long for them again.
And so, instead of staying up for "me time" tonight,
I think I'll go to bed a little early.
And hold that little hand, kiss that precious face.
And memorize the way his sweet milk breath smells.
The size of those tiny little hands.
The softness of his baby skin.
And I'll thank the Lord with everything in me for Gage.
For his daddy.
For our home.
For our home.
For this life of ours that I wouldn't trade.
For anything.
Because I know that one day, I'll miss this.
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Discipline
So maybe I shouldn’t have had that cup of coffee at 7:30
this evening.
I’m wide awake.
Usually at this time of night I’m wore out, cuddling on the
couch with my husband after getting the babe down for the night. Tonight Ry was
extra tired so he is in bed with Gage. And I have the house to myself.... with a lot of energy!
Ahhhhhh.
This morning I started my day with an early morning run. Yes, 7:25 is early morning for me nowdays. Gage sleeps til 8:30 most days and I have been known to stay in bed with him until he wakes. I blame it on the cuddle bug that he is. It's irresistable! But anyway, today I somehow found it in me to roll out of bed, lace up my shoes, and hit the dirt road. It was a beautiful morning. I was able to enjoy some worship music, feel the Lord in the morning air, and clear my head while feeling FREE. It was nice. And I want to continue. But that takes discipline.
DISCIPLINE.
Let me tell you that word is my enemy. I'm not good at it. It's my daily struggle. It's also the thing that separates me and the Lord from getting closer, the scale from moving, and from me reaching the goals/dreams that go through my mind daily. Whyyyy is it so hard for me?
I last a week and then BAM I'm back to my old ways.
"Come to me. Draw near to me. Spend time with me," the Lord beckons me. "Read my word. Find what You need in Me. Know me deeper still."
"Yes, Lord. I need that. I want to feel you near- I want to know what word you have for me! But I'm busy. I'll try to squeeze you in, but if I can't today, I'll start tomorrow. I'll wake up early and pray and read my Bible tomorrow...."
My diet starts tomorrow.
I'll start reading my Bible more tomorrow.
I'll start running again tomorrow.
I'll _____________ tomorrow.
Fill in your own blank).
So I do it a day or two. And then, I let life happen again. A week later, the cycle begins again.
I lack discipline.
And the Lord has been revealing that to me.
So I'm sharing it with you.
Even though it's hard to admit.....
I don't really have an answer.
Maybe I need accountability? Motivation? Someone to slap me upside the head?
How do you exercise discipline in your life? Is it a struggle for you as well? I'd love to hear from you!
Friday, April 26, 2013
Silence.
Lately I have had the urge to write but when I sit down to type my fingers freeze. My brain thinks so hard about what I want to say.... and yet not a word comes to mind.
My heart has been so full. On a daily basis there are things that challenge me, move me, and stretch me as I am easing into the roles that God has assigned me in this crazy beautiful life.
But when I go to write there is just
SILENCE.
This isn't necessarily a bad thing.
I think that I'm learning to bottle up these moments in my heart- good along with bad. To sit in the moment and BE STILL. To let God speak to me and reveal Himself to me in the silence.
Sometimes I feel like I always need to be on the go, to always have something exciting planned, or that I have to be the hair done-skinny minny- put together- house spotless-awesome blogger mama.
But then I miss the moments that make life great.
If I'm doing my hair and makeup all morning and taking selfies in the mirror I'm missing laying in bed with Gage as he wakes up and cuddles with me for 15 minutes before we even getting outta bed. I miss morning playtime where I sit across from him in the floor and we giggle and learn new things. I miss sitting back in SILENCE as he plays in the floor and looks like he grew so much overnight-- hiding that image in my heart so I'll always remember.
If I rock him to sleep with my iPhone over his back (yea I've been guilty of this once or twice- but quickly learned its not a habit I want to make) then I miss taking in his sweet baby smell, memorizing the feeling of him cuddled so small on my chest, with his little hand over my heart.
But wait? Those all sound like perfect moments... and they are. But social media tends to just capture those good perfect sweet moments.
What you can't see is the pile of laundry on the other side of the room, the trash that his overflowing, and my pile of paperwork that is screaming to be done. I don't often blog about the adjustments of being parents and balancing time for ourselves and dont take a pic for Insagram of me yelling at Ryan and him slamming the door in my face. Ha! Sadly those are real moments-- but also in the silent minutes after "life happens" that is where God speaks to me and changes my heart. That's where he teaches me and shows me what I need to work on to experience lasting true joy in my life that only comes from Him.
I want to be real today.
I slept in yesterday's makeup. My house is a mess as we are in the process of getting new countertop and everything that was in my kitchen is now in my dining room. I'm loads behind on laundry. I'm sleepy because me and ry stayed up late talking about things we want to work on in our marriage. I'm hungry and the cabinets don't have many options bc I always put off getting groceries!
It's a typical day here at the Smothers.
This morning though, I'm sittin on the couch while Gage Man is sleeping in and I'm thankful for the silence. Even the silence in my heart that sometimes I feel that I don't have anything to share or write about. Because in the silence I grow. I bottle up memories. I can think clearly.
I can be still and know that He is God. Even in the midst of a not so perfect life- a REAL life.
If I ever portray that my life is so perfect and blah blah blah on social media, forgive me. I'm a huge mess! I just love to find joy in this messy life. And lately that's by just soaking up the silence.
This post was kinda random and idk of I even portrayed the point I wanted to make.
So anyway
Happy Friday y'all- this sleepy head is gonna go make some coffee now:) it's too early! (oh wait it's 9 o'clock.... oops)
My heart has been so full. On a daily basis there are things that challenge me, move me, and stretch me as I am easing into the roles that God has assigned me in this crazy beautiful life.
But when I go to write there is just
SILENCE.
This isn't necessarily a bad thing.
I think that I'm learning to bottle up these moments in my heart- good along with bad. To sit in the moment and BE STILL. To let God speak to me and reveal Himself to me in the silence.
Sometimes I feel like I always need to be on the go, to always have something exciting planned, or that I have to be the hair done-skinny minny- put together- house spotless-awesome blogger mama.
But then I miss the moments that make life great.
If I'm doing my hair and makeup all morning and taking selfies in the mirror I'm missing laying in bed with Gage as he wakes up and cuddles with me for 15 minutes before we even getting outta bed. I miss morning playtime where I sit across from him in the floor and we giggle and learn new things. I miss sitting back in SILENCE as he plays in the floor and looks like he grew so much overnight-- hiding that image in my heart so I'll always remember.
If I rock him to sleep with my iPhone over his back (yea I've been guilty of this once or twice- but quickly learned its not a habit I want to make) then I miss taking in his sweet baby smell, memorizing the feeling of him cuddled so small on my chest, with his little hand over my heart.
But wait? Those all sound like perfect moments... and they are. But social media tends to just capture those good perfect sweet moments.
What you can't see is the pile of laundry on the other side of the room, the trash that his overflowing, and my pile of paperwork that is screaming to be done. I don't often blog about the adjustments of being parents and balancing time for ourselves and dont take a pic for Insagram of me yelling at Ryan and him slamming the door in my face. Ha! Sadly those are real moments-- but also in the silent minutes after "life happens" that is where God speaks to me and changes my heart. That's where he teaches me and shows me what I need to work on to experience lasting true joy in my life that only comes from Him.
I want to be real today.
I slept in yesterday's makeup. My house is a mess as we are in the process of getting new countertop and everything that was in my kitchen is now in my dining room. I'm loads behind on laundry. I'm sleepy because me and ry stayed up late talking about things we want to work on in our marriage. I'm hungry and the cabinets don't have many options bc I always put off getting groceries!
It's a typical day here at the Smothers.
This morning though, I'm sittin on the couch while Gage Man is sleeping in and I'm thankful for the silence. Even the silence in my heart that sometimes I feel that I don't have anything to share or write about. Because in the silence I grow. I bottle up memories. I can think clearly.
I can be still and know that He is God. Even in the midst of a not so perfect life- a REAL life.
If I ever portray that my life is so perfect and blah blah blah on social media, forgive me. I'm a huge mess! I just love to find joy in this messy life. And lately that's by just soaking up the silence.
This post was kinda random and idk of I even portrayed the point I wanted to make.
So anyway
Happy Friday y'all- this sleepy head is gonna go make some coffee now:) it's too early! (oh wait it's 9 o'clock.... oops)
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Being A Mom
Being a mom is hard work. Whew.
For me thus far, being a mom means being alone in the back room feeding your newborn while others are outside the door laughing and having fun. It means going to bed late, waking all throughout the night, and waking early as your little one gets their days and nights figured out. It means being peed on, spit up on, and knowing how to change those explosive diapers like a pro. It means having to say no to girls night out, skipping meals cause there is just no time to make yourself anything, and forgetting what a long, relaxing shower feels like. It means getting your dinner to go and eating it in the car because your baby threw the biggest fit everrrrrr and all the people in the restaurant stare at you like your beating the poor thing. It means learning to put yourself last and put the needs of a tiny person before any need or want of your own.
Now don't stop reading there.
Because being a mom ALSO means staring into the eyes of a tiny person that God created inside of you over 9 months & have your heart melt inside of you. Being a mom means your heart becoming more tender and crying sometimes just when you look at your baby because the love that you didn't even know was possible overtakes you. It means a tiny hand reaching over and grasping your finger. It means being that baby's favorite person- your voice, touch, kiss, and caress can calm them when no one else's can. It means missing them during naptime, even though you think you can't wait to get them down. It means wet slobbery kisses, big gummy grins, and laughter that fills your home and your heart. It means hearing "mama" and two little arms reaching for you. It means rocking your angel to sleep and never wanting to put them down. It means sitting back and staring in awe of that little one that is part of you and part of that man you love with all your heart. It means falling in love all over again everyday that those sleepy eyes wake up and meet yours with the biggest smile.
There is nothing in this world that would make me want to go back to my life before being a mom.
I was so selfish before Gage. He has changed my heart from the inside out.
Sure, some days are hard and I pray for patience and help a lot.
But the joys of motherhood outweigh any difficulty.
Being a mom means having the hardest, yet most wonderful job in the world.
Being a mom means being blessed beyond measure.
Thank you, Jesus for the day you made me a mom to Gage Beckham.
For me thus far, being a mom means being alone in the back room feeding your newborn while others are outside the door laughing and having fun. It means going to bed late, waking all throughout the night, and waking early as your little one gets their days and nights figured out. It means being peed on, spit up on, and knowing how to change those explosive diapers like a pro. It means having to say no to girls night out, skipping meals cause there is just no time to make yourself anything, and forgetting what a long, relaxing shower feels like. It means getting your dinner to go and eating it in the car because your baby threw the biggest fit everrrrrr and all the people in the restaurant stare at you like your beating the poor thing. It means learning to put yourself last and put the needs of a tiny person before any need or want of your own.
Now don't stop reading there.
Because being a mom ALSO means staring into the eyes of a tiny person that God created inside of you over 9 months & have your heart melt inside of you. Being a mom means your heart becoming more tender and crying sometimes just when you look at your baby because the love that you didn't even know was possible overtakes you. It means a tiny hand reaching over and grasping your finger. It means being that baby's favorite person- your voice, touch, kiss, and caress can calm them when no one else's can. It means missing them during naptime, even though you think you can't wait to get them down. It means wet slobbery kisses, big gummy grins, and laughter that fills your home and your heart. It means hearing "mama" and two little arms reaching for you. It means rocking your angel to sleep and never wanting to put them down. It means sitting back and staring in awe of that little one that is part of you and part of that man you love with all your heart. It means falling in love all over again everyday that those sleepy eyes wake up and meet yours with the biggest smile.
There is nothing in this world that would make me want to go back to my life before being a mom.
I was so selfish before Gage. He has changed my heart from the inside out.
Sure, some days are hard and I pray for patience and help a lot.
But the joys of motherhood outweigh any difficulty.
Being a mom means having the hardest, yet most wonderful job in the world.
Being a mom means being blessed beyond measure.
Thank you, Jesus for the day you made me a mom to Gage Beckham.
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
7 Months
Gage,
I'm so behind on writing this one, but I haven't forgotten all of the exciting things that happened this month!
Your little personality continues to come out day by day! You at times are calm and laid back like your Daddy, but there are times you can be fiesty like your momma!!! Your little laugh fills our home with joy. You laugh the most when Daddy comes home and attacks you- at least that's what it looks like! He kisses you and tickles you from head to toe and you just squeal and laugh with delight! Sometimes you just scream you are so excited!
You said MAMA!!!!!! You say it when you are tired of something you are playing with and you want me to come get you and pick you up. It's sooo sweet. You mumble "ma ma ma ma" and then you'll say it clearly! I was so happy that I was your first word :) Of course, we're BFFs so I didn't expect any different!!
You are now wearing 6-9 months clothes.
Eating lots of fruits and veggies. Eating puffs like they are going out of style (you still have to have them broken into smaller pieces). You love to drink out of your sippy too! You eat three times a day and sit up like a big boy in your highchair. You love to make messes- if we drop even the tiniest of drops of babyfood, you spot it and smear it all around like it's so fun. You are doing so great with your fine motor skills, as you can pick up the little pieces of puffs really well!
At your doctor's appointment you weighed in at 16lbs and 5 oz., were 26.5 inches long. That is in the 25th percentile for weight and height.
You still don't roll much but are starting to scoot around on your tummy! We are just waiting for you to get those knees up under you and take off! Although I'm not near ready for you to be so big, so take your time sweet boy! (and the house isn't 100% babyproofed for a crawler just yet!)
You love going outside and playing. You still love animals and watching your puppies, cat, and cows that are in the field in front of our house. We hung your swing in a tree out in the yard and you love to swing. It's so funny you won't crack a smile when you are swinging hardly! You just lean back and look so relaxed! We try so hard to make you smile, with little luck! It cracks us up :)
You still love walks to the creek and seeing the water, and walks at the Harrison and Alpena park.
You had your first Easter and you were a HIT. In your little hat and bowtie everyone thought you were adorable, and you should have seen the proud faces of your Daddy & I. We think you are the best thing ever.
You are still sleeping 10-12 hours a night. Before bedtime you like a bath where you splash and kick like crazy, to be lathered in lotion afterwards, and then read books in bed with momma and daddy. You still like to be rocked to sleep. And when we are in bed at night you still love snuggling right up next to me. You stay that way all night. If I'm not touching you, you'll feel and reach around until you find me. Daddy likes to fall asleep with his arm over me and holding onto your little foot. I love being a family and enjoying lots of snuggles!
You sit up big in the cart now when we go shopping and going places is much easier now. You are such a good little guy.
I love you so much. I can't wait to see what these next months have in store, as you'll be crawling around in no time!
You are our joy.
Love,
Momma
I'm so behind on writing this one, but I haven't forgotten all of the exciting things that happened this month!
Your little personality continues to come out day by day! You at times are calm and laid back like your Daddy, but there are times you can be fiesty like your momma!!! Your little laugh fills our home with joy. You laugh the most when Daddy comes home and attacks you- at least that's what it looks like! He kisses you and tickles you from head to toe and you just squeal and laugh with delight! Sometimes you just scream you are so excited!
You said MAMA!!!!!! You say it when you are tired of something you are playing with and you want me to come get you and pick you up. It's sooo sweet. You mumble "ma ma ma ma" and then you'll say it clearly! I was so happy that I was your first word :) Of course, we're BFFs so I didn't expect any different!!
You are now wearing 6-9 months clothes.
Eating lots of fruits and veggies. Eating puffs like they are going out of style (you still have to have them broken into smaller pieces). You love to drink out of your sippy too! You eat three times a day and sit up like a big boy in your highchair. You love to make messes- if we drop even the tiniest of drops of babyfood, you spot it and smear it all around like it's so fun. You are doing so great with your fine motor skills, as you can pick up the little pieces of puffs really well!
At your doctor's appointment you weighed in at 16lbs and 5 oz., were 26.5 inches long. That is in the 25th percentile for weight and height.
You still don't roll much but are starting to scoot around on your tummy! We are just waiting for you to get those knees up under you and take off! Although I'm not near ready for you to be so big, so take your time sweet boy! (and the house isn't 100% babyproofed for a crawler just yet!)
You love going outside and playing. You still love animals and watching your puppies, cat, and cows that are in the field in front of our house. We hung your swing in a tree out in the yard and you love to swing. It's so funny you won't crack a smile when you are swinging hardly! You just lean back and look so relaxed! We try so hard to make you smile, with little luck! It cracks us up :)
You still love walks to the creek and seeing the water, and walks at the Harrison and Alpena park.
You had your first Easter and you were a HIT. In your little hat and bowtie everyone thought you were adorable, and you should have seen the proud faces of your Daddy & I. We think you are the best thing ever.
You are still sleeping 10-12 hours a night. Before bedtime you like a bath where you splash and kick like crazy, to be lathered in lotion afterwards, and then read books in bed with momma and daddy. You still like to be rocked to sleep. And when we are in bed at night you still love snuggling right up next to me. You stay that way all night. If I'm not touching you, you'll feel and reach around until you find me. Daddy likes to fall asleep with his arm over me and holding onto your little foot. I love being a family and enjoying lots of snuggles!
You sit up big in the cart now when we go shopping and going places is much easier now. You are such a good little guy.
I love you so much. I can't wait to see what these next months have in store, as you'll be crawling around in no time!
You are our joy.
Love,
Momma
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Monday, April 8, 2013
Grace.
"and a certain sign of grace is this- from the broken ground flowers come up, pushing through the dirt"
I love how the new growth and new life that Spring brings in the form of pretty wild flowers, gardens beginning to grow, and baby animals resonates GRACE in my heart.
Isn't that me?
The small little seed hidden below broken ground- covered in dirt?
But ah, the the sun comes and breathes LIFE into that tiny, dirty seed. And what breaks through that dirt and grows is so breathtakingly beautiful.
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I have felt like that seed often. This new season of my life has been the most wonderful so far, but had also changed me so much that sometimes I felt "the me" that I had known all my life was so far buried I couldn't even find her anymore.
Transitioning jobs, learning how to balance being a momma, going from a pretty selfish mindset to a more selfless one, old friendships growing, new ones forming, and the list could go on and on. I went through a season of change and as special and amazing as it was sometimes when the baby was asleep, the house was clean, and I had nothing but silence and a few free moments-- I didn't know what to do with myself. The "me" I knew from years before was buried deep inside of me... IS buried deep inside of me.
As Spring has made its arrival it seems to have awakened something inside my heart.
GRACE.
My prayer is that God takes me, like the little buried seed, and waters me and shines His light on me and grows me into something BEAUTIFUL.
Without Him I'll just stay here in the ground, but PRAISE THE LORD I don't have to! He has already worked in my behalf. He died for me, and rose again! All so I don't have to stay buried, but that by His GRACE I could grow into something more beautiful than I ever imagined!
My prayer today is that I would exemplify God's grace in my life. To allow Him to water me with His word, shine His light on me with His presence, and that I would break through the dirt and be a beautiful flower- all for His glory!
I love how the new growth and new life that Spring brings in the form of pretty wild flowers, gardens beginning to grow, and baby animals resonates GRACE in my heart.
Isn't that me?
The small little seed hidden below broken ground- covered in dirt?
But ah, the the sun comes and breathes LIFE into that tiny, dirty seed. And what breaks through that dirt and grows is so breathtakingly beautiful.
-------------------------------------------
I have felt like that seed often. This new season of my life has been the most wonderful so far, but had also changed me so much that sometimes I felt "the me" that I had known all my life was so far buried I couldn't even find her anymore.
Transitioning jobs, learning how to balance being a momma, going from a pretty selfish mindset to a more selfless one, old friendships growing, new ones forming, and the list could go on and on. I went through a season of change and as special and amazing as it was sometimes when the baby was asleep, the house was clean, and I had nothing but silence and a few free moments-- I didn't know what to do with myself. The "me" I knew from years before was buried deep inside of me... IS buried deep inside of me.
As Spring has made its arrival it seems to have awakened something inside my heart.
GRACE.
My prayer is that God takes me, like the little buried seed, and waters me and shines His light on me and grows me into something BEAUTIFUL.
Without Him I'll just stay here in the ground, but PRAISE THE LORD I don't have to! He has already worked in my behalf. He died for me, and rose again! All so I don't have to stay buried, but that by His GRACE I could grow into something more beautiful than I ever imagined!
My prayer today is that I would exemplify God's grace in my life. To allow Him to water me with His word, shine His light on me with His presence, and that I would break through the dirt and be a beautiful flower- all for His glory!
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Guys, I'm 4 days in on the April Fitness Challenge. Whoa. 4 days is pretty good for me to stay motivated and committed to anything fitness related! ha!
But really, I have started to love feeling that burn after a good workout and my body is beginning to feel stronger and not all jiggly and weird like I did for quite awhile after having Gage. (do ya know what I mean? Like you try to run and you feel your insides sloshing around in your belly? Ok I get it, TMI!!)
I caught myself talking to a new acquaintance a few days ago saying "... I just had a baby". WHAT? That was seven months ago. It's crazy how fast time passes, and even though I still catch myself saying stuff like that- I think I'm finally coming into my old self again. I feel stronger and more just like "me" in my skin again. Those first few months are hard, looking into the mirror and thinking "who is that girl??" I'm glad to be getting past that.
Spring is here and the sunny days we have had are now filled with lots of exploring outside, working in the garden & flowerbeds, swinging Gage in his new swing that is hanging from a tree in our front yard, and grilling!!! It's SO much easier for us to eat healthy when it's warm outside. Throw some meat & veggies on the grill, throw together a salad and call it done!
Well how was that for a random naptime post from my iPhone? :)
Happy Spring!
Also, it's not too late to join me & all the other lovely ladies that are apart of the April Challenge! You in!?
But really, I have started to love feeling that burn after a good workout and my body is beginning to feel stronger and not all jiggly and weird like I did for quite awhile after having Gage. (do ya know what I mean? Like you try to run and you feel your insides sloshing around in your belly? Ok I get it, TMI!!)
I caught myself talking to a new acquaintance a few days ago saying "... I just had a baby". WHAT? That was seven months ago. It's crazy how fast time passes, and even though I still catch myself saying stuff like that- I think I'm finally coming into my old self again. I feel stronger and more just like "me" in my skin again. Those first few months are hard, looking into the mirror and thinking "who is that girl??" I'm glad to be getting past that.
Spring is here and the sunny days we have had are now filled with lots of exploring outside, working in the garden & flowerbeds, swinging Gage in his new swing that is hanging from a tree in our front yard, and grilling!!! It's SO much easier for us to eat healthy when it's warm outside. Throw some meat & veggies on the grill, throw together a salad and call it done!
Well how was that for a random naptime post from my iPhone? :)
Happy Spring!
Also, it's not too late to join me & all the other lovely ladies that are apart of the April Challenge! You in!?
Friday, March 29, 2013
Granny Erma
(Granny meeting Gage)
Maybe someday I can.
I think I am still in denial that it really happened. It was something I had dreaded my whole life. I remember worrying about it when I was little and thinking there was no way that I could handle it.
But somehow the Lord gets you through it. Even though the pain of it can be unbearable at times.
(Here she is after dumping some of the scraps after a Sunday dinner. Every Sundy of her life she cooked dinner for her whole family & we would all cram into her little cozy house to eat and visit all afternoon. You could feel the love as soon as you stepped foot in the door. It's still my favorite place in the world.)
Granny was a servant. I could write for HOURS and fill PAGES with the wonderful woman she was.
But to sum it up, she was the rock of our family. The center of all of lives, really.
She was precious. And rare. A true lily among thorns.
Maybe one day I can blog about all the ways she has impacted me, but tonight I will share how her life of loving the Lord impacted my own walk just today.
In her last few years, Granny battled Alzheimers. She got confused easily.
I wasn't at church that day, but Mom told me the story when it happened. At the time it just made me sad, but today it resonated something deeper in my heart.
They were taking the Lord's supper at church one Sunday in the old country church that they attend; the one Granny had attended most of her life. One at a time, they would walk up and get their piece of bread and juice. Then they would go back to their seat and all take it together after they prayed.
Mom told me that when Granny went up to get her juice she stood up there for a moment and drank it. And then she just cried.
Mom had said that it was the sweetest thing to watch and it had blessed the hearts of all the people in the church.
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On this Good Friday, we took Communion at our home church. It was a very serious service- we came in without talking to prepare our hearts for what was taking place. My mind went back to the story Mom had told me... My sweet Granny, not knowing she was supposed to go back to her seat to drink it, standing before the church and crying as she drank what symbolized the blood of her Savior.
My sweet sweet Granny knew the magnitude of that blood that was shed for her.
She understood it. She knew the agony that her Savior went through all for her sake.
And it broke her heart.
Tonight, as I sat there with the cup in my hand, I pictured what Jesus did for me, for you, for my Granny. And I prayed that I would take it as seriously and understand in such a way as my Granny did. That it would break my heart, bring me to tears, and transform my life the way it did hers.
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That is just one tiny way she touched my life, even after she was gone.
I am so thankful for the example she set while she was here and the influence she had and will continue to have on me for the rest of my life.
(the best place on Earth= Sunday at Granny's)
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