Mind the Lillies

We're waiting here for You, with our hands lifted high in praise.

And it's You we adore! singing Alleluia!

You are everything You promised, Your faithfulness is true!

And we're desperate for Your presence, all we need is You!

What a beautiful spring morning! My windows are open, my Pandora is on the Christy Nockels station, and I'm doing some spring cleaning. After the storm and rain, the cool spring air is here with the sun shining through and you can almost see the green bursting through the ground! And a certain sign of grace is this-- from the broken earth, flowers come up, pushing through the dirt <3 I love that thought. God can take brokeness/dirtiness and make something so beautiful!

That is my prayer for my life. That he will turn my brokeness into beauty.

Here lately I have been struggling with WORRYING. Maybe it's that I've always been a hypochondriac, maybe that it's I'm pregnant and that is just exaggerating it. I don't know... I won't go into detail, but there have been some things here lately just scaring me to death. I know I should have never let it get that far to where I was so fearful about it, but I did.

So I went back to the old trick that's always worked for me. I dug into the Word & found a verse of comfort. One that I would use to fight those thoughts with. One that when the thoughts came, I could stop them with the word of God! And this is the verse that has been such a comfort to me lately:

Matthew 6:27

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lillies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.

It has calmed my fears so much. Maybe it helps that it's spring and al the flowers are popping out so beautifully. Not only does my fears have to remind me of this verse, but I can walk outside and see the beauty of God's creation and be reminded of how he TAKES CARE OF ME. Mind the lillies! They don't do anything except let the Lord take care of them and they are beautifully clothed and taken care of.

Sometimes I feel like I'm the flower that wilts and dies because it's over-watered with worries, or hidden from the sun because of fear.... and it never gets to bloom into the beautiful flower God created it to be, because it's too scared to trust God to simply take care of it.

This morning I thank God for His reminder to me through His word and His creation that if He is going to take care of the lillies of the field, how much more will He take care of His daughter whom He loves!

3 Month Check-In!

When are you due: September 23rd, 2012
How many weeks: 12 weeks on Sunday :) finally 3 months! yay!!!
Was this planned or unplanned: Definitely unplanned and quite the suprise! we had just decided that I would work for at least a year before trying to have a baby, but God must have had other plans & of course, we are THRILLED!
How much weight gained: NONE so far... I actually lost 3 lbs this past week because any food after noon sounded disgusting to me & I had to force feed myself!
Is this your first pregnancy?: Yes
Latest food craving: I just started noticing the cravings begin this week- the past few days actually! I started craving BAKED POTATOES. And now I understand "craving"-- I would have literally drove 3 hours to get one the past 2 days. Nothing had ever tasted so good LOL.
Your top two name choices or baby's name: We have our favorites that we absolutely LOVE but I don't want to say just yet... we want to find out the sex first, and who knows we might even wait to announce the name until it's born! But we are not good secret keepers! The only thing is I'm paranoid someone will steal our names (it actually happened to the first favorite name we had picked out) and we want the names to be original. We like names that are bit out of the ordinary :)
Worst thing about being pregnant: I honestly don't like complaining about anything because I feel so blessed to have a happy and healthy pregnancy thus far... all the sickness/fatigue the first trimester brought seemed more than worth it to me if that means having a precious baby, BUT I would say the main thing that has bothered me is the LACK OF ENERGY. I feel boring these days because I go to bed so early & have no energy in the evenings to go out and be fun! Annnnd I have had a harder time getting myself to get up and exercise. But it's getting better so I'm thankful.
Best thing about being pregnant: I would have to say it's the overwhelming feeling that God has brought my husband and I together to create this little human. Knowing that God knows our baby by name already & that it's something part me and part Ryan is so cool! Annnnd that there is a living human inside of me! So weird!!! But sooo awesome!
The first person you told: Ryan! I dragged him out of bed to show him the test & later that day after 3 more positive tests, I called Meemaw first!!! It was like I was still in disbelief, I needed her to tell me that if those tests were positive then it was true :) The I immediately called Mom & Dad after she talked some sense into me!!
Are you more scared or excited?: Up until the past few weeks it was all excitement, but here lately I have been a little scared. More just worrying about things, like the worry wort I am. But still mostly excited! I'm trying to just trust the Lord with it!
Last time you cried over something ridiculous: When I had my migraine this past week. I asked Ryan to go do a load of laundry for me & while he was in there doing it, I started crying because I told him I just wanted him to come sit down with me & didn't know why he wouldn't. Crazy! But honestly for the most part, I have been way more relaxed and happy. I'm suprised the hormones haven't made me an emotional wreck yet!!
Breastfeed or Bottle? I am a HUGE fan of breastfeeding and definitely plan on doing it.


The first trimester is coming to an end!!! I have loved the experience so far, even if the first trimester included all the yucky stuff. The excitement/anticipation/dreaming about our baby has already brought so much joy to us and we haven't even met the little one yet!

I am shocked that I'm not showing anymore than I am yet. I know I'm only 3 months, but I guess I was just scared I was going to be a HUGE preggo... I have a tiny bump/bulge, but nothing too noticeable yet. I'm ready for the next few weeks to bring more energy and hopefully more evidence that I'm actually pregnant= a bigger baby bump :)

oh baby!

Today I've definitely felt preggo.

For starters, last night we went out around 6. As soon as we left the house I felt so YUCK. We went and got Mexican food, which normally I eat my weight in... and that's a lot LOL. But I felt horrible, and took like 2 bites of my meal. So I packed it and brought it home.

This morning as soon as my eyes popped open at 6:30ish, I jumped out of bed and warmed up the Mexican food. It was the best thing I ever tasted. So strange, eating leftover pizza for breakfast isn't that weird, but flautas, rice, and beans? Weird.

For lunch, I ate 2 egg rolls and a hot fudge shake. I was craving chocolate like nobody's business. Like I had to have chocolate, there was no way around it. Sooo I grabbed my weenie dog and we ran to Green Forest and hit up Sonic. Also weird, because if it takes actually going somewhere out of the way, I usually don't act on my cravings.

Today was definitely one of the first times I've had some cravings that struck me as out of the norm.

I have also spent today FREAKING OUT. I have watched A Baby Story all morning, and looked at a million people on facebook with new babies LOL. It's like I'm obsessed with babies right now... but I think it's because I'm SO SCARED. They are so little and so fragile, and not to mention they have soooooo many things that go a long with them. What if I don't get the right brand of bottles, or diapers, or wipes? What if there are things I have no idea about? I mean, I want to give my baby the best things for it... as in the things that are the healthiest/easiest on their little bodies. I'm so paranoid about everything, but I'm sure this is normal. I really am counting on those motherly instincts to kick in because the only thing I've ever mothered is a weenie dog. And I have a feeling a weenie dog is a lot different from taking care of baby HAHA :)

But as much as I am scared, I'm so in love. When we heard the heartbeat this week, my heart totally melted. To hear that little heartbeat come out so strong was such a miracle. It was the neatest feeling. And all I can do is dream of what Baby Smothers will look like, what it will be like to kiss their little cheeks, annnnnnnd I cannot wait to get a rocking chair for the nursery to rock it to sleep in :)

I'm praying everyday for this little miracle God has blessed us with, usually Ry and I do together every night before we fall asleep. I'm praying that God will make my baby healthy & whole and that he/she will grow into the wonderful unique person that God has already created them to be. It's so sweet to think He knows them by name and has their whole life planned out! Even before I was born, before I ever even knew Ryan, God knew and loved this baby of ours. I'm thankful and amazed at the handiwork of God!