...of man or of God?

"There are so many laws, rules, and formulas out there for moms that can pile up burdens of guilt on any mom. I think this is why Jesus was so harsh in His condemnation of the Pharisees actions and attitudes. Living by performance always kills our souls because none of us are perfect mothers, and we will fail in some areas, so we need to live by God's approval and mercy to feel His grace." 

The moment I found out I was pregnant the research began. I was bound to have the healthiest pregnancy and be the best mom. I was going to do it all by the book- whatever they told me was best for my baby I was going to do it.

Fast forward to Gage at around 5 months- I'm in the living room crying, covering my ears as he screams from his crib in our bedroom. Ryan is watching the clock and informing me when the five minutes is up and I can go in and at least touch and comfort him. In that moment I exhaustion and complete failure, I wanted to throw my hands in the air and give up. My baby wasn't sleeping. I'd rock for hours and the moment I laid him down- POP! The eyes came open and the screaming began. The experts told me Cry It Out (and I know it totally works for others and I am in no way judging CIO parents) but it just didn't work for us. The next night he was in bed with us and sleeping 11 hrs straight.

I was so hard on myself at first for giving in. But why, Kaysi??

Who makes up these rules that you "have to follow as a parent or else you feel guilty"? Is your baby happy? YES. Are you happy? YES. Point proven.

That's just one example of many. There are so many "rules" or expectations for moms. Even on what we feed our families, how we decorate our homes, how we dress our children.

It can be quite exhausting trying to keep up with it all and fit the mold.

Galatians 1:10 

For am I now seeking the approval of man or of God?....

This kinda slapped me in the face- after a few weeks of feeling inadequate as a mom, a wife, and just a woman in today's world in general. Who am I trying to impress here?

Am I seeking God- or the newest edition of Parenting magazine? Am I spending my time comparing my marriage to others or am I seeking God and asking him how to be the wife He wants me to be. 

The Bible needs to be my go-to again instead of Google.

It's an easy trap to get caught in.

But this morning I woke early, had a cup of coffee, and spent some time in the Word. I let The Lord speak to me and just soaked in His love for me and asked him to mold me into a woman whose desire was to please HIM before anyone else.

Wouldn't our homes be a happier place if they were filled with wives and mamas who were filled with the Holy Spirit and delighting in The Lord, instead of ones discouraged and bogged down by the expectations and comparisons we place on ourselves? I know mine would.