Lake Adventures

It's Sunday afternoon and I'm laying in the camper with Gage as he naps while listening to the old AC buzz. Life has been so simple here.

I needed this getaway! We brought the camper over last weekend and are leaving it through the 7th of July. We have all come and gone as we like, but most of Ryan's family has spent the weekends here.

I was worried how Gage would do at the lake, but he has loved it from day one!

He won't let us put him in his little floater anymore but he loves to sit on the edge of the water and let the waves come splash him as he digs for rocks and splashes his little hands in the water! He just squeals with delight! It almost always wears him out and so we will come back to camp, dry off, and I'll rock him to sleep. He has slept right under the AC and it's humming sound and cool air makes for some great (long) naps!

When we aren't swimming or napping, he has loved to take walks all around the campground. He loves going to the water and seeing boats where he'll go "brrrmmm brrmmmm" with his little lips (aka: his favorite noise to make)!!

The playground isn't too far from our camp and he has played on it and made a lot of new little friends. You should have seen it! They all surrounded him and kissed his little legs and then would jump around and make him laugh! We even let the 5 year old take him down the slide :)

Ryan and I have got to have some adventures on the boat and jet ski while Shirley has kept an eye on Gage while he napped! I still like hanging out with that guy, believe it or not :) One thing I love about Ryan is that he "knows how I do everything", or so I tell him! He takes care of us so well and I love that about him!

We have had friends and family out to grill, we have made s'mores, ran into town for some speciality pizza, lounged in lawn chairs, sun bathed, and drank way too much pop (Gage included!)... but it has been a great time and we have made great memories! I love doing life with these people I call mine.

Balance

It's took me awhile to be able to admit this- even realize this- about myself.

When I first got married I was at the peak of my relationship with God and with my friends. I woke up and before my eyes even opened I was talking to God. Time with Him was my priority. I also was surrounded by some amazing friends who I loved to laugh and be myself with.

I had spent years praying for my future husband. That I would protect my heart and my body and save it all for him- and as I waited, I prayed that he would as well. That prayer started at age 14 and continued until the day I married Ryan at age 20. Of course, my relationship with the Lord consisted of more than that, but that was a prayer that often poured out and as I waited on my future husband I let Jesus fill that void and love me in a way that no one else ever could.

After getting married, about a month in the fights began. How dare Ryan! He wasn't fulfilling my every need! I needed him to make me feel beautiful, worthy of love, sought after. I needed him to applaud every good thing about me and make me feel cherished. If a morning went by and he was running late for work and left without giving me a kiss or saying something sweet or romantic I was furious! I know this sounds ridiculous- but you see, for so long I had prayed for this man- and now here he was and instead of still looking towards God for my confidence and self worth and love... I was depending upon my new groom who was just human. He could never fulfill my every need and every insecurity. Only my heavenly Father could.

Besides having that hang up- I also became consumed in being a wife. I let some friendships fade as I was horrible at returning calls, texts, or taking up offers to have a girls night. I was trying to figure out my new role as a wife and it consumed me.

It took me awhile to ease into my role as a wife and realize that I was still me and that Ryan wasn't perfect--- and that I was the furthest thing from it.

Enter motherhood.

I was consumed x12.

I still take forever to reply to texts and have some strange paranoia about talking on the phone! I spent the first few months doing NOTHING but focusing on being a mom. Just now have I got in the groove of keeping the house clean and having supper on the table when Ryan gets home. I have let other precious friendships fade because I don't know how to juggle it all. Ryan gets frustrated as he wants help paying the bills, etc. and I am still figuring out how to balance it all.

This sounds bad I know- I just feel guilty while Gage is awake if I'm not 100% focused on him... But I'm learning to balance it all and it feels good.

The point of this post is that I have learned that I let new phases of life- transitions if you will- consume me and take over me. So much that at times I forgot who I am and what I like and what makes ME tick.

Yes I am a wife.
Yes I am a mother.

But I am still Kaysi.

I still need daily time with God to allow Him to fill me and use me.
I need girl talk.
I need a good run.
I need to paint my nails, listen to music that I like, to read a good book.
I need to take a long hot shower and get dolled up.
I need to be me....and not let these beautiful amazing roles that God has called me to distract me from Him or who I am in Him, but to cause me to draw nearer to Him and allow Him to show me how to be a godly wife, mother, friend-- all while balancing it in a healthy way.

What about you? Maybe it's not being a wife or mom- maybe its your career or other responsibilities. Do you ever let them consume you and you begin to lose yourself in them? How do you balance it all?! I'd love to hear from you!

9 Months

Dear Gage Man,

I am behind on writing this month's letter. Probably because it has been your busiest month! You my child are the move!

You now love to run like crazy in your walker. If you are on hardwood or tile you can go ninety to nothin'!  It's so fun to watch you be so mobile. You like to chase Grumps in his wheelchair and you are an extra at turning and going in reverse to get where you want to go. You like to try to get into cabinets if your little arms can reach that far.

I tease you saying that you must have know the day that you turned 9 months because all in one day you started saying "dada" AND waving your hand at everyone and saying "hiiiiiii". It was so funny, I had to go into town to buy a wedding gift and you started waving around the whole store and saying "hiiiiiiii". It's so cute how you say it, it comes from way down deep and comes out so loud! I can't explain it but it cracks me up :)

You like to go swimming outside in your pool now. You know what "splash" means and you love to do it! You love outdoors and can make the "brrrrmmmmmm" sounds when you see your wagon, Grump's Big Red ATV, our fourwheeler, or lawn mower. Your Poppy Keith and Papa Kenny have introduced you to taking rides on the fourwheeler and you LOVE it. You reach back for it and cry (sometimes) when they take you off. I know this is the start of many rides!

We have had some great family adventures this month!!! We went to Dogwood Canyon Ranch and rode bicycles. We pulled you along in a little cart behind us and you were so content! We rode 8 miles, I believe and you loved to take in all the sites! We saw waterfalls, fish, and all sorts of beautiful scenery. Once we looked back and you had grabbed a leaf off a tree or bush as we had drove by! You were chewing on it & I freaked out!!! You are into everything, son!

We also went to Turpentine Creek zoo and saw all the lions, tigers, and bears. You loved the big brown bear. We took the walking tour, you in the stroller, and I didn't pack sunscreen because of the canopy on the stroller, but it was right at noon and your legs weren't shaded. I was so worried you were going to get burnt, as it was a very sunny and hot day, but NOPE you just tanned. You are our little brownie for sure! You have tanlines on your fat rolls on your wrists and ankles- it's so cute :) You get compliments on your tan all the time!

After the zoo we got ice cream. I bet so far this summer you've had at least a gallon of vanilla ice cream! You take after me. And crazy enough, you HATE watermelon!! Your daddy can eat a whole one all by himself he loves them so much, but you make a horrible face and gag! You are continuing to eat more table food and love to try new things.

You are pulling up still, and with that comes a few bumps on the noggin. No major ones, because we're always right there with you, but I dread this part of you learning to walk. I'm a scaredy cat and hate to see you fall!

Your personality bloomed this month! You used to be pretty laid back, but now you are more giggly and you smile all the time! That smile with your two bottom teeth just melts my heart. We love the little man you are becoming. You love exploring and seeing new things. You get so excited when Daddy comes home from work. You definitely are very attached to your mama! When anyone else holds you, you fuss and lean towards me. Sometimes I just want you to be nice to your aunt, cousin, etc. that's holding you but I know this is just a phase and I love that you want me. I'm your safe.... and I love that!

I celebrated my first Mother's day with you on my hip. You made me a mama & you will always be my baby. It wasn't a day about me, but about YOU. Without you I couldn't celebrate and without you life would be meaningless. You have changed our hearts completely. I feel like for the first time I'm learning what it means to be selfless-- I feel like I was so selfish before. You have changed me in so many ways by making me a Mama. I love you more than words can say.

Three more months until your first birthday. Get the tissues now.

We love you Bubba!!!!!

Help! (vaca ideas needed)

I cannot believe it's June already. 

I just want this summer to pass slowly and allow me to soak up every moment.

Even the hard ones. Gage didn't nap at all yesterday & was up til almost 11. What a wild child! He was so exhausted and cranky... and this morning I rocked him for an hour before he'd finally stay down in his crib- just for him to wake up 20 minutes later. Whew. I'm a little exhausted to say the least, but I think he was too because he's down for his second nap of the day and I'm hoping it's much longer!

Anyway, the point of this post is that I have a question for ya'll!

We have free plane tickets with Southwest Airlines to use and we have been brainstorming on where we'd like to go for a 3-4 day mini vaca. This year we'd like to do something a little more adventurous that includes awesome scenery, lots of hiking, and well... adventure! We've went to the beach the past few summers and we'd like to venture out a little. Any suggestions, friends?