Whew! Finally sitting down and kicking my feet up. I had quite a productive morning.
I'm spoiled to spending most Saturdays with my hubby, and after a long week of him working late I was bummed when he said he had to work ALL day today. Hmmph. I didn't think I could sit around the house all day, so I decided to make a run to town. Bad idea. WalMart was like a madhouse. I almost got in a fist fight with an old lady, ran over a child with my cart, and almost had a nervous breakdown on the bread isle. KIDDING, but it was BAD.
I knew there was a reason I hated grocery shopping.
A few hours later, and I just finished chopping up a huge bowl of peaches, kiwi, strawberries, and blueberries, baking a sugar cookie crust, and whipping up some cream cheese spread to make a FRUIT PIZZA! One of my favorite desserts, especially in the summertime!
Ya know, spending a day at home alone isn't so bad. I have a clean house with my Scentsy burning, yummy goodness being created in the kitchen, a candle burning, and Elevation Worship playing on Pandora. It's actually really relaxing and peaceful. I feel so CONTENT.
I have been doing a bible study called "Living the Surrendered Life" alongside many other girls across the country. I stumbled upon http://www.shereadstruth.com and fell in love with the idea. (Check it out, ladies). The study has blessed my heart so much already- it's devotions aren't super long, but they are filled with tons of truth and things that open my eyes daily. So far, there have been many things it talks about that have led me to surrender things in my life to God. My worries, fears, plans, feelings of self worth, etc. It has been great!
One lesson was on contentment. That's something that I needed to read.
Sometimes I find it SO hard to be content. Not that I have any reason NOT to be... it's just another battle with my flesh. It seems like I'm always wishing I had cuter CLOTHES, more MONEY, prettier house DECORATIONS, a plethora of FRIENDS to go out with, more fancy DATES with my husband, SOMEHWERE TO GO ON A LONELY SATURDAY.
But God spoke to me saying "you have a full closet of clothes, you always have food on the table, you have been married a little over 2 years and own a nice house that may not be super fancy but is super homey and cute, you have a small group of friends but they are true friends who make you a better person, you may not go on big dates every weekend but you have a husband who loves you and you need to cherish those little things like walks, cuddling on the couch, laughing until you cry... you are blessed, open your eyes"
So I have tried to open my eyes and be THANKFUL and be CONTENT. The world makes material things and status look so alluring- they make us feel like we have to have these things to be truly happy. But as Christians we know better- we just have to refocus our hearts every so often.
In Philippians chapter 4, Paul says, "...for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."
Paul had went through times when he was poor and in want, and through times when he had more than enough... but he learned that in both of those situations that worldly possessions, whether overflowing with them or not having any, did NOT bring contentment. Only Jesus Christ could fulfill his inner longing and satisfy him to the fullest.
I needed to stay home today, turn the TV off, spend a little time in the kitchen cutting up some fruit and singing worship songs.... My house may not be the fanciest, but it is HOME and I LOVE IT. I am thankful for it. I am thankful for the baby in my belly who kicks away as I sing, for the 99 cent mugs I found today at a discount store that I'm going to make a craft with, for my cute puppies who are sleeping in the air conditioned house.
God is teaching me to find true contentment in Him! To have a thankful heart and open my eyes to all the blessings He has poured on me!
We can find joy in ANYTHING if our heart is in the right place.... or we can choose to always be wanting more, more, more and waste away our days with a cranky spirit. I don't know about you, but I'd rather find JOY in things like a fruit pizza! (plus it's gonna taste sooooo good) :)
Happy Weekend!
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Friday, June 22, 2012
Worry
I can't sleep. Jack must have had a reaction to his meds because now he can't even walk and is stiff as a board. I'm so tired, but am too nervous/worried to sleep.
My devo was on worrying two days ago and I tried so hard to really surrender my worries to the Lord. Ever since then I feel like I have really been put to the test to see just how I will follow through.
I trust you, Lord.
That's all my heart can say now. I am tired of worrying- I'm tired of my lil Jack Jack just getting worse and things more complicated and scary. And its not just Jack being sick, but it seemed to just be what set it all off. I am constantly having to surrender these worries to the Lord- even when I'm so tired that all my heart can say is...
I trust You.
My devo was on worrying two days ago and I tried so hard to really surrender my worries to the Lord. Ever since then I feel like I have really been put to the test to see just how I will follow through.
I trust you, Lord.
That's all my heart can say now. I am tired of worrying- I'm tired of my lil Jack Jack just getting worse and things more complicated and scary. And its not just Jack being sick, but it seemed to just be what set it all off. I am constantly having to surrender these worries to the Lord- even when I'm so tired that all my heart can say is...
I trust You.
Jack
My 3 year old weenie dog has about killed me over the past 4 days.
I won't go into too much detail, but let's just say that 4 nights ago I woke up to find our bedroom smelling oh-so-lovely and about 5 piles of, well ya know, to clean up... Apparently he had been whining at the door, but Ryan & I were both sleeping soundly that night. Of all nights! That was the beginning of 4 long days!
I'm telling ya, every 30 minutes he was sprinting to the door & so was I to let him out in time. He's so sweet, I felt so sorry for him. After night #2, and how grumpy/emotional I was the next day from NO sleep, Ryan decided that he HAD to sleep outside on night #3. This was very traumatic. For Jack & myself. I don't even know if he has EVER slept outside before & I begged and pleaded, but Ryan wouldn't budge. Let's just say I didn't get hardly any sleep that night either, listening to my sick little guy SCREAM from the front porch. Broke my heart- wanted to break Ry's nose- but I know he did it with my best interest in mind, wanting me to be able to rest...
So yesterday, me & Jack slept until 11:30.... and I never do that, so I had to have been super tired. We had a vet appointment for 4:30- and at 2 he had the WORST seizure he has ever had. Oh yea, he also has epilepsy. I'm telling you something happens to this dog on a weekly basis. So he is all convulsing & foaming at the mouth and I start BAWLING....I usually stay calm & just soothe him during the seizures, but this one was so intense I couldn't handle it. I called Ryan and he was there in just a few minutes. At this point, I felt like the crazy dog lady & just wanted this to all be over... And I couldn't stop crying.
Ryan loaded us up and sent us on to the vet early. On the way over there, Jack was still so out of it he fell out of the seat and into the floorboard, where he couldn't get up. I bawled all the way to the vet so when I got there my eyes were all red & swollen.
What a day- to make a long story short, after lots of blood being drawn, things stuck up his booty, shots given, and probing around on his stomach- we came home with some special food and antibiotics. Annnnnd Monday we go back to start him on seizure meds. The doctor said the epilepsy has gotten to the point where he needs to be on it. JOY. I will be giving him a human seizure medication 2x a day for the rest of his life.
Now, if this was just any dog I might be ready to chop his head off- but this is our BABY. I have never loved a little animal so much- my friends make fun of how in love we are and how spoiled he is. It's kinda pathetic, I know. And what he will do when the baby arrives? Probably go into a deep depression. :)
So today I actually feel semi-rested, as he only got up 3 times last night and is feeling SO MUCH BETTER. Thank goodness and thank goodness it's FRIDAY!
I have a girls day planned with Sarah & a girls night with Cheyenne and Tabitha. I'm really excited, even though I'll be spending the night away from my hubby because he is fishing all night :( and so I'm just gonna crash at my parent's house.
Now for a few pics!
I won't go into too much detail, but let's just say that 4 nights ago I woke up to find our bedroom smelling oh-so-lovely and about 5 piles of, well ya know, to clean up... Apparently he had been whining at the door, but Ryan & I were both sleeping soundly that night. Of all nights! That was the beginning of 4 long days!
I'm telling ya, every 30 minutes he was sprinting to the door & so was I to let him out in time. He's so sweet, I felt so sorry for him. After night #2, and how grumpy/emotional I was the next day from NO sleep, Ryan decided that he HAD to sleep outside on night #3. This was very traumatic. For Jack & myself. I don't even know if he has EVER slept outside before & I begged and pleaded, but Ryan wouldn't budge. Let's just say I didn't get hardly any sleep that night either, listening to my sick little guy SCREAM from the front porch. Broke my heart- wanted to break Ry's nose- but I know he did it with my best interest in mind, wanting me to be able to rest...
So yesterday, me & Jack slept until 11:30.... and I never do that, so I had to have been super tired. We had a vet appointment for 4:30- and at 2 he had the WORST seizure he has ever had. Oh yea, he also has epilepsy. I'm telling you something happens to this dog on a weekly basis. So he is all convulsing & foaming at the mouth and I start BAWLING....I usually stay calm & just soothe him during the seizures, but this one was so intense I couldn't handle it. I called Ryan and he was there in just a few minutes. At this point, I felt like the crazy dog lady & just wanted this to all be over... And I couldn't stop crying.
Ryan loaded us up and sent us on to the vet early. On the way over there, Jack was still so out of it he fell out of the seat and into the floorboard, where he couldn't get up. I bawled all the way to the vet so when I got there my eyes were all red & swollen.
What a day- to make a long story short, after lots of blood being drawn, things stuck up his booty, shots given, and probing around on his stomach- we came home with some special food and antibiotics. Annnnnd Monday we go back to start him on seizure meds. The doctor said the epilepsy has gotten to the point where he needs to be on it. JOY. I will be giving him a human seizure medication 2x a day for the rest of his life.
Now, if this was just any dog I might be ready to chop his head off- but this is our BABY. I have never loved a little animal so much- my friends make fun of how in love we are and how spoiled he is. It's kinda pathetic, I know. And what he will do when the baby arrives? Probably go into a deep depression. :)
So today I actually feel semi-rested, as he only got up 3 times last night and is feeling SO MUCH BETTER. Thank goodness and thank goodness it's FRIDAY!
I have a girls day planned with Sarah & a girls night with Cheyenne and Tabitha. I'm really excited, even though I'll be spending the night away from my hubby because he is fishing all night :( and so I'm just gonna crash at my parent's house.
Now for a few pics!
Jack, Jackers, Weenzie, Weenz, Bear, Jackus, JackJack, the list goes on...
How can you say no to that face? :)
Just opening his stocking on Christmas morning :)
Jack & his sister, Ryka.
Hey Mom, let's go for a walk!
Chasing butterflies/grasshoppers= a hobby of his.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
You Are ALTOGETHER Beautiful
I'm starting to feel really pregnant. Huge, you could say. I feel like I waddle a little when I walk now. Sometimes I joke that I must be carrying him in my booty as well, because it has definitely been the other place to grow. I have gotten two sets of stretch marks, and although they aren't super red or noticeable, they go down both sides of the front of my stomach... and it bothers me.
I have never had a perfect body, and I know I never will. And I'm okay with that. Body image is something that I have struggled with since high school. Girls could eat whatever & still be stick thin, and I could eat bad for a week and gain 5 lbs. Even at my smallest I have always weighed a good 20 lbs more than my friends- I was definitely skinny then as I was playing basketball 24/7, but the scale didn't reflect it necessarily. I remember girls saying things behind my back like how they felt sorry for me because I had a "pooch" on my stomach and had never really had a flat one. Things like that engrave in a girls mind....
I feel like as women we have pressure coming from all around us to be "perfect"... In more ways than just body image, but that's what is on my mind today. The media is now using 12-14 yr old girls as models. Of course they don't have any curves yet! They display this as "beautiful" and it leaves us girls that have a real woman's body thinking that you have to be a stick to fit the mold. Personally, I don't find that appealing, but in the back of your mind there is still pressure to lose those last 10 lbs- that you would just be happier if you looked a little better.
It's a never ending cycle.
Right after high school I gained 20 lbs pretty fast. Going from basketball, volleyball, track, etc. to NOTHING played a toll on my body! Especially as I kept eating like I was still in all those sports! It was my first wakeup call that I was going to have to work to stay at a healthy weight. So I joined a gym, started running, and by spring I was actually in the best shape of my life. That's when I grew a love for running. I had just started college, new friends, new life, and running was a huge stress reliever for me.
Since then, it's been a battle. At times I would slack on my fitness routine, indulge a little more in my eating, and be 10 to 15 lbs heavier. When I met Ryan I had just got back from MSU and was at my highest weight ever (and he had mono so he was at his LOWEST)- he was also doing some personal training at the gym, and that was more motivation than ever for me to kick it in high gear! Once again, in a few months I was down almost 20 lbs! And when we got married, I was at a very happy place as far as having a strong, healthy body. I was running, lifting weights, and eating healthy.
Then married life came, and I was so excited to make him amazing dinners every night! And of course, that always included some sort of dessert! Sure, I baked with whole wheat flour, light butter, and sugar substitutes, but our portions were WAY too large. Before I knew it I was slacking at the gym, but really succeeding as a wifey... the only prob is that I was 10 lbs heavier again!
You can see how I've battled eating healthy, exercising, and feeling happy with what I see in the mirror years. Nursing school was my hardest battle so far. I have never been more mentally drained or so busy... and it was so easy to pick up fast food & skip my date with the gym... I was on one week & off the other. Ryan and I had started a new workout program with a eating plan 2 weeks before I found out I was pregnant. The day I found out I was down 6 lbs & working out hard!
So... I went into the pregnancy not exactly where I wanted to be, and naturally I worried about what it would be like for my body to grow a little one. I was really scared of stretch marks, of outgrowing all my clothes, of gaining excess weight, etc. AND it has been a battle. When I first got my stretch marks, they really bothered me. When I went to get ready & couldn't find a thing that fit, so I wore one of the 3 dresses that I'd been switching between, it bothered me.
That sounds vain. And it is.
WHY IS THERE SUCH AN EMPHASIS ON BEING SKINNY, BUT NO EMPHASIS ON BEING A PROVERBS 31 OR PHILIPPIANS 4:8 LADY? The world has taken the definition of beauty & messed it up so much. If we pursue outward beauty, we are often left feeling insecure & unhappy with ourselves, because we feel we can never reach that standard, that size, etc. But if we pursue inward beauty, we begin to bear fruit in our lives, to experience the joy of the Lord, and to RADIATE a with a BEAUTY that comes from within and REFLECTS our Savior- who is more beautiful than anything this world has to offer.
Today I was feeling a little grumpy about the extra weight I've gained, the stretch marks that have appeared, the clothes that don't fit. I needed to be reminded of what TRUE BEAUTY is. I want to glow- not with the "pregnancy" glow- but with the beauty that comes from a heart that is alive with Christ. So I'm stopping pinning "Post-Baby Workouts" on Pinterest, and I'm going outside with a cup of coffee and my Bible.
My weight will always be a battle I'm sure, and it's okay to want to be healthy and fit and have a strong body, but when it consumes our thoughts and it begins to define our self-worth, then it is a problem. Plus, there is no mold we have to fit into to be beautiful! God loves us just the way we are- the way He created us.
I have never had a perfect body, and I know I never will. And I'm okay with that. Body image is something that I have struggled with since high school. Girls could eat whatever & still be stick thin, and I could eat bad for a week and gain 5 lbs. Even at my smallest I have always weighed a good 20 lbs more than my friends- I was definitely skinny then as I was playing basketball 24/7, but the scale didn't reflect it necessarily. I remember girls saying things behind my back like how they felt sorry for me because I had a "pooch" on my stomach and had never really had a flat one. Things like that engrave in a girls mind....
I feel like as women we have pressure coming from all around us to be "perfect"... In more ways than just body image, but that's what is on my mind today. The media is now using 12-14 yr old girls as models. Of course they don't have any curves yet! They display this as "beautiful" and it leaves us girls that have a real woman's body thinking that you have to be a stick to fit the mold. Personally, I don't find that appealing, but in the back of your mind there is still pressure to lose those last 10 lbs- that you would just be happier if you looked a little better.
It's a never ending cycle.
Right after high school I gained 20 lbs pretty fast. Going from basketball, volleyball, track, etc. to NOTHING played a toll on my body! Especially as I kept eating like I was still in all those sports! It was my first wakeup call that I was going to have to work to stay at a healthy weight. So I joined a gym, started running, and by spring I was actually in the best shape of my life. That's when I grew a love for running. I had just started college, new friends, new life, and running was a huge stress reliever for me.
Since then, it's been a battle. At times I would slack on my fitness routine, indulge a little more in my eating, and be 10 to 15 lbs heavier. When I met Ryan I had just got back from MSU and was at my highest weight ever (and he had mono so he was at his LOWEST)- he was also doing some personal training at the gym, and that was more motivation than ever for me to kick it in high gear! Once again, in a few months I was down almost 20 lbs! And when we got married, I was at a very happy place as far as having a strong, healthy body. I was running, lifting weights, and eating healthy.
Then married life came, and I was so excited to make him amazing dinners every night! And of course, that always included some sort of dessert! Sure, I baked with whole wheat flour, light butter, and sugar substitutes, but our portions were WAY too large. Before I knew it I was slacking at the gym, but really succeeding as a wifey... the only prob is that I was 10 lbs heavier again!
You can see how I've battled eating healthy, exercising, and feeling happy with what I see in the mirror years. Nursing school was my hardest battle so far. I have never been more mentally drained or so busy... and it was so easy to pick up fast food & skip my date with the gym... I was on one week & off the other. Ryan and I had started a new workout program with a eating plan 2 weeks before I found out I was pregnant. The day I found out I was down 6 lbs & working out hard!
So... I went into the pregnancy not exactly where I wanted to be, and naturally I worried about what it would be like for my body to grow a little one. I was really scared of stretch marks, of outgrowing all my clothes, of gaining excess weight, etc. AND it has been a battle. When I first got my stretch marks, they really bothered me. When I went to get ready & couldn't find a thing that fit, so I wore one of the 3 dresses that I'd been switching between, it bothered me.
That sounds vain. And it is.
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Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. -1 Peter 3:3-4
...The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. -1 Samuel 16:7
God defines beauty as something from within. He doesn't look at our outwards appearance, but at our hearts. Sure, he wants us to keep our bodies healthy, but he doesn't want all our thoughts to be consumed on and our value be based on what we look like from the outside-- especially by comparing ourselves to "beautiful" celebrities/models slender bodies (who are probably not very beautiful within anways). If we (I) focus so much on my outward appearance, we forget what truly makes us beautiful in the first place.
Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men’s bones and everything unclean. -Matthew 23:27
I DO NOT want to be like the Pharisees who put so much emphasis into their outward appearance, but God finds it worthless because on the inside they are ugly! So how can I be beautiful from within???
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. -Philippians 4:8
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. -Proverbs 31:30
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. -Proverbs 31:30
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WHY IS THERE SUCH AN EMPHASIS ON BEING SKINNY, BUT NO EMPHASIS ON BEING A PROVERBS 31 OR PHILIPPIANS 4:8 LADY? The world has taken the definition of beauty & messed it up so much. If we pursue outward beauty, we are often left feeling insecure & unhappy with ourselves, because we feel we can never reach that standard, that size, etc. But if we pursue inward beauty, we begin to bear fruit in our lives, to experience the joy of the Lord, and to RADIATE a with a BEAUTY that comes from within and REFLECTS our Savior- who is more beautiful than anything this world has to offer.
Today I was feeling a little grumpy about the extra weight I've gained, the stretch marks that have appeared, the clothes that don't fit. I needed to be reminded of what TRUE BEAUTY is. I want to glow- not with the "pregnancy" glow- but with the beauty that comes from a heart that is alive with Christ. So I'm stopping pinning "Post-Baby Workouts" on Pinterest, and I'm going outside with a cup of coffee and my Bible.
My weight will always be a battle I'm sure, and it's okay to want to be healthy and fit and have a strong body, but when it consumes our thoughts and it begins to define our self-worth, then it is a problem. Plus, there is no mold we have to fit into to be beautiful! God loves us just the way we are- the way He created us.
So let Him whisper this to you today=
"You are altogether beautiful, my darling, And there is no blemish in you" -Song of Solomon 4:7
Monday, June 18, 2012
Blog Makeover!
In celebration of a new chapter, I gave the blog a new look!!
What to do you guys think?!
It's lighter & brighter and makes me feel happier to look at it :)
What to do you guys think?!
It's lighter & brighter and makes me feel happier to look at it :)
Refreshed
I slept until almost 9 this morning. It felt great. So far, I've got up and made myself some wheat blueberry pancakes with fresh strawberries and whipped cream on top. Delish. Then I read some blogs that I've recently discovered & fell in LOVE with. I just put on a pot of coffee, I'm blogging, and then heading to Branson with Mom & Trevor to shop.
I feel like a burden has been lifted! After finally making it through the test that for 2 years in nursing school they freak you out about & prepare you for- I feel so light this morning.
What an exciting weekend! My husband earned some major brownie points this weekend, I have to brag on him. He knew how much this test meant to me & really turned it into a special weekend for me.
He took me up to Springfield on Friday night- got us a nice room at The Hampton & then took me out for a nice dinner. The guy working at the hotel recommended the Metropolitan Grill so we decided to try it out- we wanted something more local, more out of the norm than our regular Chilis of Olive Garden. It turned out to be a lot nicer than we expected! We started out ordering the spinach for an appetizer, thinking it was spinach dip-- turns out it was a whole plate of "flash fried" spinach topped with parmesan and lemon juice. It was actually quite delicious, but our faces probably looked funny when the waiter brought a plate of spinach leaves & sat it down in front of us!!
All of the entrees had fancier cheeses, etc. listed in the ingredients. Being pregnant, I have been OCD about only eating the "safe" foods & I had no idea if these cheeses were pasteurized/safe.. I asked our waiter a million questions. Then I had to ask about the dipping sauce for the bread- turns out it had wine in it, so it was a good thing I asked. After the waiter left, exhausted from all my questions I'm sure, we got sooo cracked up. Ryan kept making jokes about my million questions & I literally started laughing so hard I was crying my eyes out. And if you know me, my laugh is NOT quiet- so we were getting stares from the people around us in their suits and dresses (which we did not have on lol).... Definitely a night to remember. It was SO nice to just relax with my husband, eat a plate full of spinach (followed by FILET MIGNON), and laugh our heads off. Times like that make the best memories...
The next morning I could have puked on the way to the testing center I was so nervous. Ryan prayed with me as I got out of the car, and some friends from my class were there, so it helped lighten the mood. Inside, they had to get fingerprints & check your ears, pockets, and ankles for any hidden "cheat sheets". Kinda made it a big deal- I even had to take off my hair ties that I was wearing around my wrist. You had to lock all your belongings in a locker and then go in the testing room. I was SO scared, but as I sat down I prayed for peace and I know many others were praying for me as well, and I really did feel peace come over me. I am so thankful for a God that truly cares about His children, and knew I needed Him at that moment. I am also so thankful for all the sweet people who prayed for me that morning!
75 questions later the test shut off! I was shocked & really happy! 75 is the minimum you can take- it can go up to 6 hours- and they say it's a good sign when you shut off at 75..... I'm still waiting for my results, but I feel really good about the whole thing!
That was my last big obstacle- I've graduated, been hired, and now have got the NCLEX out of the way. Finally I can take a deep breath and relax. All I have to do now is go to work 2 shifts a week and focus on being a wife, mommy-to-be, friend, homemaker, etc. now. I feel like I have let so many of these areas slack over the past 2 years of devoting myself and my time to nursing school. I have never studied so hard or sacrificed so much- and now that it's over I really feel the burden that has been lifted!
There are so many things I want to begin focusing on... First, my daily quiet time. I have no excuse now to not spend quality time with the Lord daily- no studying hanging over my head, class to go to, etc. Second, I want to be a better wife. This includes making better meals for Ryan on a regular basis, and DECORATING our house. I have got some cute decorations now, but I would love to focus on crafting more for our home, getting more pictures up, and having it clean and inviting as much as possible. I want to have friends over & be a better hostess- I want to make Ryan & his mechanics cookies & suprise them, etc. I'm SO excited that I'm going to have time to do these things now! And last, I want to be a better friend. I felt like I never had time to do things with friends the past 2 years. I want to have some more girls days, I want to send sweet notes just because, etc. I really need to work on this and I'm so excited that I'm able to now :)
So there are my goals now that this new chapter has begun! I am overjoyed that this new season of my life is starting. It is SO refreshing!
I feel like a burden has been lifted! After finally making it through the test that for 2 years in nursing school they freak you out about & prepare you for- I feel so light this morning.
What an exciting weekend! My husband earned some major brownie points this weekend, I have to brag on him. He knew how much this test meant to me & really turned it into a special weekend for me.
He took me up to Springfield on Friday night- got us a nice room at The Hampton & then took me out for a nice dinner. The guy working at the hotel recommended the Metropolitan Grill so we decided to try it out- we wanted something more local, more out of the norm than our regular Chilis of Olive Garden. It turned out to be a lot nicer than we expected! We started out ordering the spinach for an appetizer, thinking it was spinach dip-- turns out it was a whole plate of "flash fried" spinach topped with parmesan and lemon juice. It was actually quite delicious, but our faces probably looked funny when the waiter brought a plate of spinach leaves & sat it down in front of us!!
All of the entrees had fancier cheeses, etc. listed in the ingredients. Being pregnant, I have been OCD about only eating the "safe" foods & I had no idea if these cheeses were pasteurized/safe.. I asked our waiter a million questions. Then I had to ask about the dipping sauce for the bread- turns out it had wine in it, so it was a good thing I asked. After the waiter left, exhausted from all my questions I'm sure, we got sooo cracked up. Ryan kept making jokes about my million questions & I literally started laughing so hard I was crying my eyes out. And if you know me, my laugh is NOT quiet- so we were getting stares from the people around us in their suits and dresses (which we did not have on lol).... Definitely a night to remember. It was SO nice to just relax with my husband, eat a plate full of spinach (followed by FILET MIGNON), and laugh our heads off. Times like that make the best memories...
The next morning I could have puked on the way to the testing center I was so nervous. Ryan prayed with me as I got out of the car, and some friends from my class were there, so it helped lighten the mood. Inside, they had to get fingerprints & check your ears, pockets, and ankles for any hidden "cheat sheets". Kinda made it a big deal- I even had to take off my hair ties that I was wearing around my wrist. You had to lock all your belongings in a locker and then go in the testing room. I was SO scared, but as I sat down I prayed for peace and I know many others were praying for me as well, and I really did feel peace come over me. I am so thankful for a God that truly cares about His children, and knew I needed Him at that moment. I am also so thankful for all the sweet people who prayed for me that morning!
75 questions later the test shut off! I was shocked & really happy! 75 is the minimum you can take- it can go up to 6 hours- and they say it's a good sign when you shut off at 75..... I'm still waiting for my results, but I feel really good about the whole thing!
That was my last big obstacle- I've graduated, been hired, and now have got the NCLEX out of the way. Finally I can take a deep breath and relax. All I have to do now is go to work 2 shifts a week and focus on being a wife, mommy-to-be, friend, homemaker, etc. now. I feel like I have let so many of these areas slack over the past 2 years of devoting myself and my time to nursing school. I have never studied so hard or sacrificed so much- and now that it's over I really feel the burden that has been lifted!
There are so many things I want to begin focusing on... First, my daily quiet time. I have no excuse now to not spend quality time with the Lord daily- no studying hanging over my head, class to go to, etc. Second, I want to be a better wife. This includes making better meals for Ryan on a regular basis, and DECORATING our house. I have got some cute decorations now, but I would love to focus on crafting more for our home, getting more pictures up, and having it clean and inviting as much as possible. I want to have friends over & be a better hostess- I want to make Ryan & his mechanics cookies & suprise them, etc. I'm SO excited that I'm going to have time to do these things now! And last, I want to be a better friend. I felt like I never had time to do things with friends the past 2 years. I want to have some more girls days, I want to send sweet notes just because, etc. I really need to work on this and I'm so excited that I'm able to now :)
So there are my goals now that this new chapter has begun! I am overjoyed that this new season of my life is starting. It is SO refreshing!
Thursday, June 14, 2012
What Do I Know of Holy?
I made You promises a thousand times
I tried to hear from Heaven
But I talked the whole time
I think I made You too small
I never feared You at all, no
If You touched my face would I know You?
Looked into my eyes could I behold You?
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?
I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were mighty to saveThose were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees
What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?
And a God who gave life "its" name?
What do I know of Holy?
Of the One who the angels praise?
All creation knows Your name
On earth and heaven above
I tried to hear from Heaven
But I talked the whole time
I think I made You too small
I never feared You at all, no
If You touched my face would I know You?
Looked into my eyes could I behold You?
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?
I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were mighty to saveThose were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees
What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?
And a God who gave life "its" name?
What do I know of Holy?
Of the One who the angels praise?
All creation knows Your name
On earth and heaven above
What do I know of this love?
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of Holy?
What a beautiful song. It really spoke to me today.... Ryan and I are currently reading "Not a Fan" and it kind of goes right along with the core of that message- am I a FAN or FOLLOWER? WHAT DO I REALLY KNOW OF HOLY?
My heart and soul longs to know more of my Savior and is in a constant battle with my flesh who often gets consumed in this world. "Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be & the slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees"... If we would only open our hearts & eyes to who our Savior truly is and let Him reveal Himself to us, WE WOULD BE MOVED. WE WOULD BE CHANGED. And when I say "we", I am talking to myself more than anything.....
"How can I stand here with You & not be moved by You?" -Lifehouse
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Growing much?
Our walks as Christians should be continual growth in the Lord.
This has been on my heart lately. I feel like God is asking me "how have you been growing in Me?"
And that leaves me feeling pretty convicted most of the time- some days there are specific things I know that I have learned or took away from time with God or in His word... but there are other days that escape without very much thought about the Lord & what He has to teach me that day. Oh the blessings I know I miss from being "too busy"... Having a consistent quiet time has always been my biggest spiritual struggle! But why? I know I am just flesh, but I do pray that I will "hunger and thirst for righteousness" even more so everyday.
On that note, how have you been growing in the Lord!? I would love some comments on how you cultivate your quiet time with God & what you are currently learning!
Changing the subject, AVOCADO is back at Subway. The things that excite me these days are pretty sad, but you should have seen my face when I saw the sign advertising it. And yes, I ate a turkey bacon avocado sandwich at 10:30 this morning. And yes, it made my day :)
I am supposed to start work next week- and I take the NCLEX Saturday. I am really pumped about work... and really nervous about the NCLEX. I woke up SO cranky today--- I think it was knowing I had another 5-6 hours of studying to put in today. Saturday at 8 am can not come fast enough!!!
Neither can September 16th... I am SO ready to meet this little guy. I hope the next 3 months FLY by... I am ready to have a little family :)
Well, that's my little blurb for the day. Nothing too exciting, but leave me some comments!!!
This has been on my heart lately. I feel like God is asking me "how have you been growing in Me?"
And that leaves me feeling pretty convicted most of the time- some days there are specific things I know that I have learned or took away from time with God or in His word... but there are other days that escape without very much thought about the Lord & what He has to teach me that day. Oh the blessings I know I miss from being "too busy"... Having a consistent quiet time has always been my biggest spiritual struggle! But why? I know I am just flesh, but I do pray that I will "hunger and thirst for righteousness" even more so everyday.
On that note, how have you been growing in the Lord!? I would love some comments on how you cultivate your quiet time with God & what you are currently learning!
Changing the subject, AVOCADO is back at Subway. The things that excite me these days are pretty sad, but you should have seen my face when I saw the sign advertising it. And yes, I ate a turkey bacon avocado sandwich at 10:30 this morning. And yes, it made my day :)
I am supposed to start work next week- and I take the NCLEX Saturday. I am really pumped about work... and really nervous about the NCLEX. I woke up SO cranky today--- I think it was knowing I had another 5-6 hours of studying to put in today. Saturday at 8 am can not come fast enough!!!
Neither can September 16th... I am SO ready to meet this little guy. I hope the next 3 months FLY by... I am ready to have a little family :)
Well, that's my little blurb for the day. Nothing too exciting, but leave me some comments!!!
Friday, June 8, 2012
...about as cute as this stretch mark
Last night we finished our last childbirth class. What a great experience. We watched the dreaded labor & delivery video last night... Ryan about passed out 3 times and I almost cried the same amount. Out of joy, yes, when the baby was placed in its mother's arms for the first time, but more so during the whole birthing process. I am literally scared to death to push a baby out..... but I'm even more excited to meet Gage.
This week was VBS at church, so we had to miss it last night for our class. Earlier in the week, Ryan had kind of embarassed me in front of a lot of our friends at church acting like he was SO dreading class & how he wanted to SKIP because there was no way he wanted to watch that labor & delivery video... He went on and on acting like it was just going to be so torturous for him. As I drove home that night, I started gettting more and more mad at the way he had reacted- which was mostly for the entertainment of his buddies anyway. So when he got home a few minutes behind me I had some words for him.
"Listen bud, I'm going to say this really calm and I'm gonna say it one time and one time only.
You want to know how "cute" I find it that you act so cute & funny in front of your kids acting like you don't wanna go to childbirth class, etc? I find it about AS CUTE AS THIS STRETCH MARK I'M GETTING ON MY BELLY. I find it about as cute as the 12 pounds I have gained, about as cute as my back hurting all time, and how NONE of my clothes fit anymore. That's how CUTE I find it.
So if I want to go to a class for 2 hours one night to learn how in the world I'm going to push this baby out, you better believe you are going to go & you are going to go with a smile on your face, holding my hand, and supporting me all the way through. Last I checked, I'm sacrificing my body for 9 months for this precious baby, which I will gladly do, but you better believe if I can do that then you can support me willing for 2 hours. So... what I'm trying to say is I'm really looking forward to class tomorrow night with you... :)"
I was so impressed with my speech, I remained so calm the entire time and simply told him the facts.
The funniest part was his response...
He immediately started rubbing my belly and going on and on about how beautiful I was pregnant, how he couldn't EVEN SEE the stretch mark, and how he was going to support me no matter what and how sorry he was.
SUCCESS.
Let's just say the rest of the evening I enjoyed a nice back rub, belly butter on my "stretch mark", and a lot of sweet compliments.
This was definitely a funny night in the world of pregnancy- and don't get me wrong, Ryan has been more than wonderful and supportive throughout this pregnancy, but sometimes a guy just has to act cool in front of his friends.... which doesn't always go over real well with a hormonal, emotional, preggo chick :)
Happy Friday!!!!
This week was VBS at church, so we had to miss it last night for our class. Earlier in the week, Ryan had kind of embarassed me in front of a lot of our friends at church acting like he was SO dreading class & how he wanted to SKIP because there was no way he wanted to watch that labor & delivery video... He went on and on acting like it was just going to be so torturous for him. As I drove home that night, I started gettting more and more mad at the way he had reacted- which was mostly for the entertainment of his buddies anyway. So when he got home a few minutes behind me I had some words for him.
"Listen bud, I'm going to say this really calm and I'm gonna say it one time and one time only.
You want to know how "cute" I find it that you act so cute & funny in front of your kids acting like you don't wanna go to childbirth class, etc? I find it about AS CUTE AS THIS STRETCH MARK I'M GETTING ON MY BELLY. I find it about as cute as the 12 pounds I have gained, about as cute as my back hurting all time, and how NONE of my clothes fit anymore. That's how CUTE I find it.
So if I want to go to a class for 2 hours one night to learn how in the world I'm going to push this baby out, you better believe you are going to go & you are going to go with a smile on your face, holding my hand, and supporting me all the way through. Last I checked, I'm sacrificing my body for 9 months for this precious baby, which I will gladly do, but you better believe if I can do that then you can support me willing for 2 hours. So... what I'm trying to say is I'm really looking forward to class tomorrow night with you... :)"
I was so impressed with my speech, I remained so calm the entire time and simply told him the facts.
The funniest part was his response...
He immediately started rubbing my belly and going on and on about how beautiful I was pregnant, how he couldn't EVEN SEE the stretch mark, and how he was going to support me no matter what and how sorry he was.
SUCCESS.
Let's just say the rest of the evening I enjoyed a nice back rub, belly butter on my "stretch mark", and a lot of sweet compliments.
This was definitely a funny night in the world of pregnancy- and don't get me wrong, Ryan has been more than wonderful and supportive throughout this pregnancy, but sometimes a guy just has to act cool in front of his friends.... which doesn't always go over real well with a hormonal, emotional, preggo chick :)
Happy Friday!!!!
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