37 weeks

I am 37 weeks pregnant tomorrow=

FULL TERM=

Gage could be here any day!!

 

I am ready. I have been miserable the past 2 weeks to say the least. I have never been a big napper, but I could literally (and have been) sleep the days away. Fatigue and exhaustion is what my body is feeling. It hurts to move. It takes me a good 3 minutes to roll over in bed and even longer than that trying to get into Ryan's HUGE truck!

 

This last week we had a scare. At our 36 week checkup when our doctor listened to his heartbeat on the Doppler it was elevated. She put me on the monitor there in the office and was seeing some concern as his heart rate was staying pretty elevated. I don't want to go into detail, because it was not something I like to think about as it was pretty stressful for this Momma! Needless to say, it was the ONLY appointment I've ever went to alone. Ryan had been sick the past 2 days and missed some work and was pretty behind. Since I thought it would be a quick little checkup I assured him, and my mom who offered to go with me since he couldn't, that I'd be fine.

 

So as I sat there alone with my baby possibly being in distress and the doctor telling me they were admitting me the hospital- I wanted to panic. I was inside, really. Thank goodness my nurses were amazing and stayed with me the whole time, even praying for me and Gage. They went above and beyond to make me feel comforted and not alone. At one point they left the room for maybe 5 minutes and as I sat there alone, the tears came....

 

But as they did so did the peace of the Lord. I was reminded of the day we found out we were pregnant and that morning in Sunday school the lesson was over the verses Psalm 139:

 

¹³ For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

 

I have always viewed that as a promise, a reassurance to me.

It was like God confirmed to me that morning that yes, he was creating a precious little baby inside of me, and that He had already ORDAINED ALL OF MY BABY'S DAYS before one of them had even came to be!!

How awesome!

 

So as I sat there, I remembered those verses and knew that my baby was God's first. Gage is His precious child- one that He has a perfect plan for. God wasn't suprised at what was going on the day in the doctor's office and He already knew the outcome. I just sat there praying "God he is Yours, and I know you are going to protect and take care of your child. You love him even more than I do already.. and I trust You with him"

 

Looking back, I know that was probably the first of many prayers that will be prayed like that.

I'm a worrier. Everyone knows that.

And I'm sure there are going to be many things over our sweet boy's lifetime that I will want to panic about... but I have to remember, that even though he is my son, He is a child of God and God loves him so much more than I can even fathom! He is in control and going to take care of His child.

What a relief knowing that there is someone so much greater than me that is holding my little boy in His hands and protecting Him!

 

To make a long story short, after 3 hours of being monitored at the hospital and his heart rate was PERFECT the whole time, we got to go home. We had an ultrasound done that he scored perfect on as well.

I was so relieved! And so was Ryan- I doubt he will be missing any more doctors appointments :)

 

Now we are just waiting for Gage Beckham to make his big debut.

We are all SO ANXIOUS!

I can't wait to kiss those sweet little cheeks and feel his soft baby skin.

 

Our lives are TOTALLY about to change! I'm gonna have this little guy to be responsible for the rest of my life, Lord willing.

We were talking last night about how we can't even imagine the love that we are going to have for our little boy.....

 

So come on Gage, Momma & Daddy are so ready to meet you!

For His Splendor

"With my roots deep in You

I will grow the branch that bears the fruit

And though I'm small I still will be standing in the storm

Cause I'm planted by the river

By Your streams of living water

And I will grow up strong and beautiful

All for Your splendor, Lord"

My prayer for this upcoming week is these lyrics by Christy Nockels.

I want to be rooted so deep in the Lord

that I begin to bear His fruit

and become something

STRONG AND BEAUTIFUL.

Not because of anything in me-

but simply from being

near Him,

in His presence.

Not for my selfish gain,

but for His

SPLENDOR

Oh, that my life would radiate Him!

That I would choose to draw near to Him every day....

To plant myself near his streams of living water!

A Lovely Saturday

Today was a perfect Saturday.

We slept in til 8:30.

Got up.

 Threw on some clothes,

ran out the door,

 and went to The Ranch House Cafe

 for a cozy and delicious breakfast.

The waitress warned us how much food we were ordering, but we laughed and told her that we were hungry and I was pregnant.

We could handle it.

Wrong.

Our eyes were bigger than our bellies.

(and mine is pretty big).

Then we ventured on to Home Depot were we walked so much we almost sent me into labor.

We probably walked around the store 3 times before we had the few random items we had came in for.

The whole time we spent laughing, holding hands, and picking on one another.

That's why I love my husband.

He makes doing the most simple things fun.

We came back home.

Took the pups for a walk down to the creek.

Vacuumed out my car.

Installed the car seat.

(we are ready for you little man!!)

Now I'm cooking dinner.

Then laying down for a cat nap

before a 12 hour night shift...

While my hubby & all our friends and family go to the

TRUCK PULLS

tonight.

I'm sad and kinda feel left out.

Hmmph.

I'm not very good at responsibility & having a job yet.

You better believe I'd rather be

beside my husband

cheering him on as he pulls tonight.

Oh well, I guess I'll just put on my big girl panties and do my duty as a nurse tonight.

Maybe God can use me to be a

blessing

to someone who is sick and hurting.

That's my prayer.

Oh, and my other prayer is that Gage comes SOON.

I can barely see my toes now :)

Me Time

This morning I'm up getting ready to head to Target.

I'm telling you, my obsession with that store is bad.

It's one of the top things I've craved since being pregnant! ha!

I have to work tonight so I thought I would spend today having some "me time" before I have to come home, nap, then get ready for work.

I just want to walk around Target, Starbucks in hand (and maybe some popcorn too).

I really need a stress reliever.

I'm telling you, God has really been testing my ability to give my worries over to Him.

Another test happened just last night when my work called me to inform me that one of the doctors has been diagnosed with Whooping Cough. And that they are taking measures to protect any of the people that may have been exposed.... sure enough, just about 2 weeks ago I was standing next to him talking, he asked to borrow my stethoscope, used it on a patient/wore it around his neck, and brought it back to me. That's being with 4 feet of him for sure, I mean I'm sure my stethoscope was covered in the germs.... ahhh.

So of course I had trouble falling asleep last night. If it was just me that could be in danger, it wouldn't be so bad, but I'm telling you if it puts my baby at risk it scares me to death. I feel like I'd already do anything I can to protect him. I just had to lay there and pray... and I called my doctor this morning and am waiting for a call back.

Maybe God is just wanting me to trust Him yet again and surrender my thoughts of fear and worry over to Him.

So I'm hoping Target helps clear my mind.

And I also hope I survive a 12 hour night shift tonight.

Happy Weekend, friends.

Ouch.

Well guys, I'm over being pregnant.

Yes I love to feel him move and kick. It's the sweetest feeling.... and I'm sure looking back I will miss it. But more than anything I AM READY TO MEET MY BABY BOY.

I am also ready to get rid of this horrid rash called PUPPS that apparently you can get in the last few weeks of pregnancy.  It itches and I look scary. Hmppph. No fun.

I'm also ready to get rid of the heartburn, shortness of breath, back pain, leg pain, lack of energy, and inability to move freely- or really move much in general... I am SO TIRED. I feel literally drained 24/7... I feel like pregnancy has finally taken its toll on my body.

I have heard ppl talking about pregnancy like this before and had no idea why they would ever say they were tired of being pregnant or that it was hard to be pregnant. Oh boy, the last week I can totally relate!! Don't get me wrong, I feel SO overly blessed to hsve got to carry my little man for 9 months- no matter how hard it was at times... but now that I'm on the home stretch all I can think about is meeting him & not about pregnancy.

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Anyway, we have had all 3 baby showers now. We are blessed. SO BLESSED to have such loving friends and family! Gage is already so loved. And his room is packed to the brim- finally all ready for him.

I had a few things off the registry left to get so Mom and I went to Target and had a shopping spree! It was SO fun! Maybe nursing school was worth it after all- besides enjoying my job, it sure does feel nice to have some spending money!! Gage will thank me as he swings in his Snuggabunny swing and gets wrapped up in his Moby Wrap. Speaking of that, I cannot wait to be a baby-wearer :)

Everyone is predicting him to come 2 weeks early. Who knows! His due date is one month from today. We shall see when he decides to make his big debut.... but one thing I do know---
THIS MOMMA IS READY.

It's tough be preggo. Props to all those moms out there.
Especially the Duggar lady, because I don't think I could ever do this 20 times! LOL :)

Precious Promises

¹⁹ I remember my affliction and my wandering,
the bitterness and the gall.
²⁰ I well remember them,
and my soul is downcast within me.
²¹ Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:

²² Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.
²³ They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
²⁴ I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.”

²⁵ The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;
²⁶ it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the Lord.
²⁷ It is good for a man to bear the yoke
while he is young.

²⁸ Let him sit alone in silence,
for the Lord has laid it on him.
²⁹ Let him bury his face in the dust —
there may yet be hope.
³⁰ Let him offer his cheek to one who would strike him,
and let him be filled with disgrace.

³¹ For men are not cast off
by the Lord forever.
³² Though he brings grief, he will show compassion,
so great is his unfailing love.
³³ For he does not willingly bring affliction
or grief to the children of men.

Lamentations 3:19-33

This morning I'm so thankful for the Lord's mercies that are new to me.

If you know me, you know I love mornings, especially ones like we had today. Ryan and I had been waiting for a morning where we could enjoy one of our favorite things together.

Coffee on the porch, him in his sweat pants & me in a big hoodie.

For the first time in forever, we woke up to a very cool morning and got to enjoy each other's company on the front porch, coffee and cereal in hand.

Recently, a man I knew lost his wife of 64 years. As I watched the tears fall down his face, I could only wonder what was going through his mind. Maybe when they were young and in love sneaking out and doing crazy things, seeing her walk down the isle dressed in white, watching their first child be born, then grandchildren, and holding hands as an old couple...

It's like I could see the years playing through his mind.

And it broke my heart.

Was 64 years enough? Nope.

He wasn't ready to let her go.

The love her had for her was so evident.

The thought made me want to hold Ryan extra close. It made the little things that I so often get cranky over seem not so important. It made me want to capture that moment of us laughing and just being goofy together and never let it go...

In 5 (or less) short weeks Gage will be here and we will begin the next chapter of life together. We've shared lmost 3 years of being newlyweds and learning how to put someone else above yourself, how to be a wife/husband, how to love.

It's been nothing less of incredible. And it's almost bittersweet to see that stage come to an end. It hasn't been perfect to say the least, there have been many tears shed and pointless arguments- but it has taught us more about each other and ourselves and brought us even closer as a couple.

I am SO THANKFUL for mornings like today- and I'm going to hide this memory in my heart, because crazy times are ahead bringing a little guy into this world and learning how to be parents! From what I've heard, mornings like this may be few and far between for awhile!

This morning, I thank the Lord for His promises to me in Lamentations. I feel like the past 3 years has proven those verses SO TRUE in my life.

We have went through my dad's accident and him becoming paralyzed, losing my 3 year old little cousin, witnessing the loss of Ryan's best friend, and taking a very scary leap as Ryan opened his own business all while I was unemployed in nursing school.

"Though he brings grief, he will show compassion,so great is his unfailing love" vs. 32

And what else can I do but trust Him wholeheartedly as we begin this new chapter of our life?! He has been so good to us- no matter how many hard times we have seemed to go through- every morning we still wake up with NEW MERCIES and a FULL HEART knowing that great is His UNFAILING LOVE towards us!

Let the promises of the Lord encourage you today!

Happy Weekend, Friends!

(a few pics of our honeymoon- back where it all began!)

 

popsicle wednesday

This morning I'm just chilling on the couch, eating a popsicle and thinking of what all I need to do today before my afternoon nap. I have a baby coming in approximately 5 weeks and my house isn't exactly as prepared as I wanted it to be. But no worries, by September 16th we shall have professionally cleaned carpets, new smoke detectors, organized kitchen cabinets, and a guest room that is spotless and ready for guests. I have so much to do... and so little energy! Haha

Monday was our doctors appointment. I never get tired of hearing that little heartbeat! It's literally the most precious sound. It took her a second to find it on Monday because he wasn't positioned like she expected. The little guy is still transverse, almost headed BREECH...

When she told us that tears automatically popped in my eyes. I want SO bad to experience child birth-- is that weird? I really want to try and have him naturally with no epidural and pain meds... It's just something I have put my mind to and feel like it would be best for baby & myself. The thought of him not turning and having to have a C-Section really does terrify me. I know that God has a plan and however I have to have him will be fine in the end, but we are praying SO hard that he will turn. I've also looked up some exercises I can do that may help him turn. I'm telling ya, I will try everything! Even if it means going to a pool and doing handstands in the water haha :)

The anticipation of meeting our little man is growing. Ryan and I love to talk to my belly and watch him move around, but we cannot wait to have our hands on him and meet this little guy we've grew to love over the past 9 months.

On another note, I start NIGHT SHIFT tonight. Wah wah wah...

I have never worked nights and honestly since I've been pregnant I NEED MY SLEEP. I'm usually on the couch by 8 and in bed no later than 10. And now I'll be working 7 pm to 7 am.... any prayers for me to stay awake would be appreciated!! I hope I can do this. I think I can. I think I can.

I got some wonderful news yesterday. I talked to my mananger about maternity leave. I had heard some scary stories about just getting 2 weeks off and I was dreading the conversations so much- thinking she would tell me I could only have a couple of weeks off since I haven't built up any leave time yet.

When I asked she replied, "Well, how much time off were you thinking? You haven't built up any paid time yet."
Gulp. Great if I say 6 weeks she might not be happy.
"Well, isn't 6 weeks pretty standard??
"Actually it's whatever you can afford! I have had people take 3 months off! It's totally up to you!"
SIGH OF RELIEF!

I won't be paid for my maternity leave, which is totally expected because I've only worked for around 2 months... but to hear her say I can take as long as I want really made my day!! Right now we are thinking I'll take 8 weeks off. And I feel SO BLESSED to be able to stay home with my little guy for his first 8 weeks of life. I think that will give both of us time to really adjust and figure this whole new way of life out :) And then I can go back part time to work and start helping our little family out financially again. That was definitely an answer to prayer!!

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Two more things.
She Reads Truth has started a new plan, going through the book of Proverbs one chapter a day! I'm excited to do this 31 day plan and hopefully gain some wisdom from it :) Join us!!
http://www.shereadstruth.com

I have signed up for a
Mug Swap
on one of the blogs I enjoy reading!
Go over to
http://www.acuppakim.com/2012/08/the-mug-swap-is-here-mug-swap-is-here.html
to check out the details.
Today is the deadline to sign up & I am SO excited to have joined!!!! You should too!
Get a new mug & a new friend :)

Simple Pleasures

I never want to get so busy or caught up in life that I forget that it's the simple things that bring me the most joy.

A freshly picked flower on my kitchen table.

A cup of coffee with a dear friend.

A morning walk.

Kisses from my puppies.

A starry night.

Worship music on the drive to work.

The sound of Ryan's truck pulling in the driveway.

Sometimes I think I need material things to make me happy- but they never can give me the JOY that the little things do.

Last night and this morning reminded me of just that.

I came home from a 12 hour shift last night to my hubby in the kitchen cooking and our table set with a candle burning. After realizing we were out of propane for the grill & a quick trip to borrow some, he finally had dinner on the table. It looked so good, but the looks that came over our faces after the first bite of steak gave away that looks could be decieving! Needless to say, we had leftover pizza to candle light and brownies & milk for dessert.

This morning, we cuddled until the last minute when he had to get up and go to work. Then me and the pups took a walk to the creek, listened to some Christy Nockels on Pandora, and now we're enjoying the morning from our front porch.

Only 6 weeks until Gage is here and that is something I want to instill in him.

It's the little things that make life worth living.

I can't wait to see what simple pleasures he brings to our life.

His first smile.

His first step.

Sweet kisses and cuddles.

Playing in the dirt.

Daddy teaching him all about trucks and tools and grease.

Mommy taking him on morning walks in his stroller.

It's another day the Lord has given us! I pray that we can all slow down and enjoy the little things. If we just open our eyes, the smallest things can bless our hearts in the biggest ways.

Happy Monday, friends!
I'm listening to this song this morning & reflecting on Jesus's love for me- I hope you enjoy it too :)