Enough.

It's dark in my house and I write to the glowing screen of my laptop. 

Both my boys aren't feeling well and have battled fevers today. One from his shots and the other from working so stinking hard for our family that he is physically sick and worn down. Owning your business never promised to be easy.

And here I am, the one to take care of them both. 

Sometimes I feel inadequate.

In so many areas.

Mom.

Wife.

Job.

Christian.

Friend.

Insecurities rise up in me and I begin to believe the lie.

"You're not good enough"

But wait. God put me here, in the care of my home and of boys for a reason.

He and I both know that within myself, it's true. I'm not good enough.

But in my weakness, He is strong.

"But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."
-2 Corinthians 12:9

I like to make myself and others believe I have it together at times. But honestly, there are days where I feel so not enough. That I'm not this or that or that I don't have anything to say, anything to offer. That I feel like I need to be doing more: running more, crafting more, DIYing more, blogging more, working more, cooking more, playing with Gage more. 

When all I really need to be doing is leaning into God more. Boasting gladly about my weaknesses! Unashamedly placing them before Him and allowing His power to rest on me! 

There is grace. 

He is waiting for me to accept it and let Him show me that IN HIM I AM ENOUGH. 

I literally just started this book today--Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe.

I'm going to be reading it alongside a dear friend and fellow mama.

I found this line in the foreword and was blessed by it. (a sign that it'll be a good book I'm hoping?!)

"Maybe being the mama I wanted to be wasn't so much about being more but believing more..."

"Godly parenting is fueled by God's grace, not my efforts."

I can try all I want, in every aspect of my life, to be better or to be more. But that will never work. I can only find contentment in who I am and how I'm performing my God-given roles when I let him breathe life into me and work through me. 

Only then will I feel adequate.

Not because of anything in myself, but because of everything in who He is.