Discipline

So maybe I shouldn’t have had that cup of coffee at 7:30 this evening.

I’m wide awake.

Usually at this time of night I’m wore out, cuddling on the couch with my husband after getting the babe down for the night. Tonight Ry was extra tired so he is in bed with Gage. And I have the house to myself.... with a lot of energy!

Ahhhhhh.

 

This morning I started my day with an early morning run. Yes, 7:25 is early morning for me nowdays. Gage sleeps til 8:30 most days and I have been known to stay in bed with him until he wakes. I blame it on the cuddle bug that he is. It's irresistable! But anyway, today I somehow found it in me to roll out of bed, lace up my shoes, and hit the dirt road. It was a beautiful morning. I was able to enjoy some worship music, feel the Lord in the morning air, and clear my head while feeling FREE. It was nice. And I want to continue. But that takes discipline.

 

DISCIPLINE.

 

Let me tell you that word is my enemy. I'm not good at it. It's my daily struggle. It's also the thing that separates me and the Lord from getting closer, the scale from moving, and from me reaching the goals/dreams that go through my mind daily. Whyyyy is it so hard for me?

 

I last a week and then BAM I'm back to my old ways.

 

"Come to me. Draw near to me. Spend time with me," the Lord beckons me. "Read my word. Find what You need in Me. Know me deeper still."

 

"Yes, Lord. I need that. I want to feel you near- I want to know what word you have for me! But I'm busy. I'll try to squeeze you in, but if I can't today, I'll start tomorrow. I'll wake up early and pray and read my Bible tomorrow...."

 

My diet starts tomorrow.

I'll start reading my Bible more tomorrow.

I'll start running again tomorrow.

 

I'll _____________ tomorrow.

Fill in your own blank).

 

So I do it a day or two. And then, I let life happen again. A week later, the cycle begins again.

 

I lack discipline.

And the Lord has been revealing that to me.

So I'm sharing it with you.

Even though it's hard to admit.....

 

I don't really have an answer.

Maybe I need accountability? Motivation? Someone to slap me upside the head?

 

How do you exercise discipline in your life? Is it a struggle for you as well? I'd love to hear from you!